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Why giving criticism is not always a good idea · 9:03pm Sep 3rd, 2014
People in the fandom keep saying that the practicers of arts like drawing, writing, animation creating, etc. need criticism to grow. By criticism, people usually mean that pointing out the bad things.
Now, while this might indeed help some, others will be broken and fall into hopelessness, giving up the art entirely, even if you meant well. Why?
To give my answer, I would like to introduce you to something called "love languages". Each of us have different "languages" that determine how we communicate and receive our love. There are five love languages:
-Words of Appreciation
-Gifts
-Service
-Touch
-Quality Time
Most people have either two primary love languages, or one primary and one secondary. Mines are for example Quality Time and Words of Appreciation.
Now why did I tell you this? Well, the reason is the first one, "Words of Appreciation". Believe it or not, but most of our actions are done, because we want others to love us, and as a consequence, one of the reasons why lots of people write here on Fimfiction is because they want to feel loved by people telling them that they liked what they wrote.
I think by this point, you might have figured out what is the connection to criticism: the love languages are two edged swords. Just how you can give energy for someone of "Words of Appreciation" to write for weeks by a simple "I really loved your story, please write more!", you can make the same person give up for months or even permanently by "Wow this sucks" or "Some people should not write".
The key thing here is the ratio. If you criticism contains more positive than negative things, the result will be that the writer will get an energy boost, and he will be able to use that boost to focus on the areas that you pointed out.
But what if you can't give more positive than negative? What if you find 2 positive and 9 negative things? Then prioritize the negative things, and only tell 1. If you can't find anything good, then don't speak. If the piece of art is that bad, then others will point out the mistakes anyways, you don't need to be there to give the last kick to the poor guy.
Trust me, sometimes simply ignoring the bad things and telling the good might make the author so enthusiast, that he will go and read through a writer's grammar/style book that he wanted to read anyways, he just never had the motivation to do so.
I must not be a "Words of Appreciation" guy because whenever I get negative comments, I feel sad, but I also feel burning desire to improve if what the negative comment pointed out was something that is true after analysis.
And if the negative comment is ridiculous, makes not actual point, or is based on tiny quibbles... I usually laugh and ignore. (Look at a recent comment on Conquering of Love where the complaint was that the story contained "straight shipping" - this isn't even a problem, it's that guy's personal preference. I can't change his preferences, so it's a non-point for me.)
2425316 Well, of course even if you are a "Words of Appreciation" guy, that doesn't mean you can't filter, and also doesn't mean you can't train yourself to see negative comments in a different way. It's just not everyone is at that level. I'm sure there are thousands of people in this fandom who have great potential, but their little fire got quenched out by negative criticism, before they could have reached that level.
And I saw that comment on CoL. It was either a troll, or whatever.
2425341
Meh, I think he was serious.
In any case, with regards to the post in general, I do have a friend who does art and seems to be effected severely by any negative comment at all. See, here's the thing... She can post a piece of art on Facebook, and she can have 8 or 9 of us saying it looks great, and then one person will point out one thing, and she will fall into this pit of utter depression where she says she thinks she should just give up. It feels awfully extreme.
I wonder if the one negative comment can't be made up for with all the praise. Or maybe the fact that that one person only had a critique, and no words of appreciation, that it didn't matter how much the rest of us liked the picture.
2425412 That's why I said that you have to learn on the receiving side too; what you focus on. Some of us are so afraid of negative comments, that when they actually get it, they just keep focusing on it, repeating the words in their heads to justify their self-pity (talking from experience). I personally had to learn to direct my attention on the positive feedback to gain enough energy to receive the negative one with the right attitude.
On the giving side, keeping the ratio positive within the comment usually helps.
Hmm, I don't know. I certainly agree that piling on to an author who's already been kicked around in the comments is unpleasant. I would like people to stop and think about being a bit kinder when they see a fic like that. I don't like it when someone posts their first fic, they've tried hard, and people laugh at them. That's not what the show's message teaches us.
On the other hand, I think negative feedback is important. If you look at FanFiction.net, most reviews are of the "Keep writing!" type, and don't really help an author. I know I wouldn't have been helped like that; I needed the negative feedback. Polite and respectful negative feedback, yes, but having none at all would have been a very, very bad thing for me when I was just learning to write.
So I think you have to find a balance: don't ever, ever be cruel... but don't be frightened to criticise honestly, either. Just waiting for others to speak up is unlikely to help an author in the long run, since all that will happen is that another, more unpleasant commenter will come along and cause unhappiness.
2425897
We are all different. I remember there were some times in my life when I didn't want to grow at all in anything, because I saw no point. All what I wanted is to get appreciation. When I got it, I suddenly had will to grow again.
2426852 That is true, of course.
But unless you're commenting on a writer you already know, it's impossible to know which category they fall into. So I prefer to be polite but honest for everyone.
2426873
. Keeping the ratio of positive and negative on the positive side might help in situations when you don't know the writer.
Yeah, that's nice of you
I agree with the message you're trying to convey, but criticism is good. But here's the key: criticism is good. Voicing flaws is not. Let's say you're reading a story that just has bad grammar, shallow dialogue, poor pacing, and a host of other things that could be fixed in Writing 101. Of course, you could always respond this way:
Or:
Which one is more helpful? They both point out what's wrong with the story, but one just focuses on that while the other calmly explains how to improve. Sure, even constructive criticism hurts some people (guilty as charged), but it helps them. Examine anyone who isn't very good at something but thinks they are: they usually just go out and embarrass themselves. If you want to help someone, you can't tell them they're bad, even if they are, because then they just get crushed. You have to phrase your suggestions in a way that is not mean or condescending, and it really helps if you focus on what they could do with their story/artwork/whatever. Everybody wants to be really good, and you're helping them get there by suggesting ways they could improve.
And if you're going to be giving someone criticism like that, it's usually best to message them instead of leaving a comment on their story where everyone will see. Usually when you point out something that someone did wrong, they get embarrassed that they would mess up like that. So by messaging them privately, you aren't leaving a big message publicly proclaiming their flaws where everyone can see and potentially judge. It's the equivalent of yelling "Hey, your fly's down!" across a crowded room instead of telling them quietly and discreetly.
Also, one final thing: never say a story is bad.
There's no such thing as "constructive criticism"; all criticism is constructive. Blatantly pointing out flaws rudely isn't negative criticism, it's called being a jerk.
See this is the difference between what Sorren does and then what people should actually do if they have some Criticism. Lets not even go into how HE HIMSELF handles criticism (paraphrasing) "OMG YOU POINTED OUT MY SPELLING MISTAKES YOU PIECE OF SHIT FOR TRYING TO HELP ME FIND PROBLEMS"
>meanwhile he's posting things like "this is the worst story I have ever seen in the featured box" which is completely useless
I've never actually voted a story down here