Chapter 17 and Things to Share... · 6:54pm Aug 16th, 2014
Hello everyone!
So, its been quite a while. Finally posted Chapter 17 of Legacy of the Pegasi after a three month period. Gah. Still makes me cringe to think about it. I hope you enjoyed it, if you've happened to read it already (Don't read an further if you haven't, there be spoilers ahead!).
Chapter 17 was definitely a beast. Long and at times cumbersome. I certainly hope no one felt like the chapter was dragging along, as if I were stalling or readers were simply waiting for the climax of the chapter. If anything, during my time writing, I've definitely learned that I need to scale things back a bit, do a little better condensing information. That, and never again will I write a chapter that forces me to bound back and forth between three protagonists. Doesn't help that I'm also visiting the villains from time to time, but I've already set the scope for this story (though I might have bitten off a bit too much), gotta follow through with it.
As I've been progressing further into the story, particularly with this past chapter, something has occurred to me. While writing the descriptions of the Archon's powers, I often think to myself, 'am I being too repetitive? Is my description of the Archon's powers upon the pegasi becoming stale? Do I mention it too much? Too little?' Believe me, I have thesaurus.com open in a tab while I write, and I do my best to vary my language, but there's only so many other words to describe a tornado. This really applies to my writing style as a whole; while I believe I have improved since chapter one, there are times where I feel my creative juices fail me or my writing is simply stagnant and not engaging enough. Conversely I wonder if I overdo it, where instead of keeping it simple and allowing the reader to imagine the images I write, I instead write pretentiously. So I ask all of you, have you noticed any of these things I've described?
Chapter 18 will be the second part of Resurrection. From there things should pick up; we'll actually have the passing of time. What I mean by that is 18 chapters of Legacy of the Pegasi have taken place over the course of a three to four day period. I'm not sure if this is a bad thing, but I think it comes back to me pacing the story correctly, and perhaps cutting back a bit on my chapters.
Oh, and though I said it at the end of the chapter, I killed off Scootaloo's parents. The drama there might have been a bit pretentious, but I really liked the build up and the subtle transfer of power from Swift Jet to Scootaloo. The repercussions from this shall be interesting...
That wraps up talking about Legacy of the Pegasi, but there is something I'd like to share. Namely artwork.
Whenever I go to conventions, I make a point of getting a sketch or artwork commission done on the spot. So far I've been to four conventions (Fiesta Equestria 13, Nightmare Nights, Trot Con 14, and Fiesta Equestria 14) and have collected four pieces. Unfortunately, with the exception of one, I don't know the names of the artists. Just know that I only commissioned them, I did not create these amazing pieces.
I commissioned this piece at Fiesta Equestria 13. Simple, depicting a fight between Soarin' and the Archon. Not really a spoiler, this should come as a surprise to no one.
Commissioned at TrotCon 14. A little more detailed, the artist even inked it and I didn't even ask! You might recognize this from the fight between the Tempest Guard and pegasi armor. This is just a interpretation; the pegasi armor in my story was a full body armor.
I do have one more related to Legacy of the Pegasi, commissioned at Nightmare Nights, but its a bit spoilerish. I'll post it after the chapter its related to.
And lastly, a very special piece of art, for several reasons. Artistically its the most polished, as it was done by Thom Zahler, who has worked on the MLP comics. Secondly, its from the next story I plan on writing, a Lightning Dust redemption story.
Commissioned this piece at Fiesta Equestria 14. Holy crap I wish I could draw and ink like that. The above is obviously Lightning Dust, though I think the title 'Thief Dust' would be more appropriate. Art by Thom Zahler.
So there you go! If you read chapter 17 of Legacy of the Pegasi, I hoped you enjoyed it! If not, then why are you here? Also hope you enjoyed my commissioned 'concept art', if you will. Chapter 18 already sits at over 2,000 words, so I've got a little bit better of a start.
Until next time!
-secret89
And this is what I can't help you with. I think if you want a through answer to this, you'd have to go to one of the groups for it. As much as I and I'm sure most of the people who read LofP love it, it isn't super popular, so not that many see it. Finding someone who sees this, can give you the analysis you want and cares enough to do so is difficult.
2375670
Thank you for your candid feedback. I agree, looking back on my request, it was a bit much to ask for. Not sure if I'll actually look up one of the groups for help; I've sought them out in the past with mixed results. As you said, its difficult to find someone knowledgeable and dedicated to the kinds of things I require help with.
I do appreciate your continued interest in this story and assistance. Thanks again.