Aug
15th
2014
Thoughts on the new chapter. · 3:59am Aug 15th, 2014
Almost no comments were posted today. That's my favorite part of posting. Hopeful more people will have stuff say tomorrow. After one wicked harsh review, I need to know if I'm heading in the right direction. If you read the chapter today, feel free to post feed back here if you like. For those that hadn't, avoid the comment section cause spoilers. I will say this is currently the darkest chapter in the story. There's no gore or hard core torture, but one character takes some physical abuse. Either way, the stakes have just gone way up.
I'm sorry. I don't usually comment whenever a new chapter is posted.
But it was awesome still. Yeah, a spelling mistake here or two, but that was it. Everything else was great.
2371649 I'm really happy to here that!
I'm glad took my time with it (at least up until this morning). I was actually going to wait until one of my friends critiqued it, but I decided to post anyway. I had a good vibe about what I had typed up, though there is one parts that could have been better.
Ok, first off I love the story. That said I was having a minor hangup about Shining. He was a bit perfect and borderline Sueish. For example the Laugher gem, conflict... and resolved with little to no effort. I forgave it since the whole sequence was hilarious. And then this chapter happend. I know the key to a good hero story needs a villian, and having a nightmare Blue blood was kinda badass. But then it wasn't Blue blood anymore. And I kind of held out hope that he would still be Blue on the inside... This chapter was a little to much for me. On one had I feel Shining should fall, become a dark knight and go lay some pain. But either way you go I fear Shining ' path to suedom has become even narrower.
As I have stated, it went a little to dark with Cadence, first of all I am not afraid of dark stories and I like the in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war, but the treatment of Cadence is borderline Fall of Equestria (excuse me for mentioning that waste of space on this site).
Otherwise it is a good solid chapter.
And one last thing BlueSom is a little to overpowered, if we look at Sauron as a comparison, we find that BlueSom (I am sticking to that name) doesn't have a weakness, with Sauron we know that his weakness is the ring and if we destroy the ring he is reduced to a shade that is incapable of taking form. BlueSom is OP to the point of ridiculousness, do the princesses know a spell that teleports target to target location, if so, teleport hiss ass to the moon or sun.
2371839 Well personally, my definition of a sue is a character that is never fleshed out, or has a flawless character. In this chapter, I pushed Shining over the edge simare to what I did at the very beginning. Seeing Cadance in such a state has driven him to a point beyond reason. To me, a 'sue' character, would take all that Entropy told and showed him and still keep a level head.
Shining may get more power from his journey, but he'll never be Goku or Supperman. Even if he get's his wish, he's not going to be able to lift mountains. A character can have power and still be a complex or well written. A great example of this is Danta from Devil May Cry. Despite all his power, the guy acts like a regular human being. He's not ultra edgy like you would expect someone with his back story... well except the reboot version. Anyways, that my example of a well written OP character.
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Yes depth of charecter is important, honestly I'm going to drop the Sue issue I just wanted top point out that his Trials seem less like trials and more like how well he can smooze the elemnts. The dark knight trope is something I can't decided if it will be good for the story or not. On one hand it's a bit over played, on the other it seems far more interesting for the story than.
But really my butthurt is really Cadence. I wish I could go in there and go all Avatar of Evil on Sombra. I always hated fits that hurt Cadence for emotional play, especially when pregos. I've dropped a Fic when the killed her off almost as an after thought just to prove how Evil there charecter was. And to me Mutilation is a close second. Now for me Shining to go off the deep end isn't dynamic characterization, it's what's expected. A natural response to an extreme situation. Now if he marches on Sombra to do battle and does a Hate power up all DBZ style I would think that would be a bit Sueish. I doubt that what you plan, but I wouldn't bee to disappointed if he made a faustian deal with some greater evil.
Blue though, I really hope he isn't forever lost I've always loved his charecter.
2372134 I'm still deciding whether I want to readeam him. I've left it open so that part of his soul may still be alive. If that happens, it will need to be at the right time.