TStarChaser
MLP: FiM
They say that history is written by the winners. But what if an event so terrible happened that there was no winners to write about it?
Gore
Alt. Universe
Twilight
OC
StarChaser01 · 10k words · 17 12 · 519 views

Prologue, Ghetto version · 4:35am Aug 14th, 2014

So my editor was shown a parody site that turns what you put into it into "Ghetto speak", so he ran the prologue of my story through it... this is what came out...

WARNING!!! Swear words ahead...

Todizzle was just not StarChaser’s day.

Just when tha Resistizzle (any mo' betta scams welcome) had finally thought dat it would be left ridin' solo tha Unicorn tribe had decided ta go n' fuck up every last muthafuckin thang again.

That’s not sayin dat all Unicorns was bad, tha Resistizzle had a phat number of Unicorns up in its ranks, n' his dopest n' only legit playa was a Unicorn named StarLight.

But all dat didn’t chizzle tha fact dat they was under battle by one of tha mo' bangin armies dat tha Unicorn tribe had at its disposal.

StarChaser sighed, ‘When will dis end?’ Dude thought ta his dirty ass as he put on his Magitech armor, ‘When will they just leave our asses ridin' solo ta live up in peace, biatch? That’s all we want, peace…’

Dude was tha last wearer of tha Magitech armor series, mostly cuz all tha other pilots was capped up in tha "Incident" dat sparked off dis whole conflict between tribes.

Once he put on his helmet he activated its onboard AI system, whoz ass at times he felt tha strange need ta booty-call "Navi" fo' some reason…

"Magitech armor mark V activating," tha AI stated, "Welcome back StarChaser n' shit. Juice core at 75% charge, shieldin online, thaumic boostas online, Warning! Physical protection compromised, please refrain from prolonged combat ta prevent shieldin failure, as dis platform is ghon be unable ta protect you if shieldin is compromised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Warning! Empty/damaged component slots detected, platform aint gonna run at maximum capacity."

StarChaser just ignored tha warnings, dat schmoooove muthafucka had heard dem enough times already, as they had started comin up shortly afta tha incident n' they was tha same every, single, time. Ever since his suit gots damaged up in tha explosion dat capped all kindsa muthafuckin other pilots it’s been freakin up at his muthafuckin ass.

Dat shiznit was at dis point dat StarLight strutted tha fuck into his bangin room up in full combat gear.

"Yo ass should stay back, I don’t want you ta git hurt," StarChaser holla'd.

"And I’ve holla'd at you how tha fuck nuff times now, biatch? ‘I can hold mah own against mah foolish cousins,’" was her reply.

"I know yo, but I still worry dat suttin' wack might happen ta you…"

"And you worry too much! Anyway, we gotta help defend again."

"Right, let’s go."

They exited tha room together n' jogged down tha hall ta tha nearest balcony.

"I’ll fly up n' help tha other Pegasus troops whi-,"

"I know, ‘while I go n' help up tha Unicorn troops’. Let’s just git dis over with!"

After dat tha battle was mostly a funky-ass blur, wit StarChaser helpin tha other Pegasus troops fend off tha attackers mostly wit lightnin cloudz n' arrows n' StarLight helpin up tha other Unicorn troops by flingin all kindz of bitch ass spells n' healin wounded allies.

Suddenly tha comin' at Purists done cooked up a surprise suicizzle charge fo' tha gate n' even mo' surprisingly gots ta dat shit. Da order was given ta fall back ta tha fortress when suddenly tha Purists broke all up in tha gate!

‘But dat thang has all KINDS of enchantments on dat shiznit son! How tha fuck did they break all up in so quickly!?!’ StarChaser thought yo, but his next one made his blood run cold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ‘Starlight’s up in there…’

Flyin as fast as his schmoooove ass could towardz tha Fortress, da perved-out muthafucka saw dat StarLight was cornered by tha Purists.

"ACTIVATE THAUMIC BOOSTERS!!!" Dude shouted.

"Thaumic boostas online," came tha response n' his speed tripled as da ruffneck dive bombed StarLight’s attackers.

Just before dat schmoooove muthafucka hit, a Purist commander turned ta his ass and, wit tha ghetto appearin up in slow motion, blasted his ass wit a spell.

Dude felt excruciatin pain before every last muthafuckin thang went dark.

All I can say is... wat

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