MLP episode review: Stare-Master · 11:06pm Jun 4th, 2014
Okay! *Runs up steps, then down while Survivor's 'Eye of the Tiger' plays in the background* Feel the burn! Feel it! Oh, what am I doing? I'm just trying to become the...
Stare-Master
Sorry, sorry. But it's kinda hard to come up with these on the fly!
We open with Sweetie Belle. Hi, Sweetie Belle! *Waves. Sweetie Belle waves back, then falls over* She's in Carousel Boutique for some reason while Rarity panics and runs back and forth. Sweetie Belle asks if she can help and if you don't know their relation this is pretty damned confusing. Rarity tells her to 'stand over there', and that's pretty harsh. Rarity almost goes Lesson Zero over a ribbon, but Sweetie Belle spots it! She reaches for it on top of a cabinet, but knocks it down into a ponykin. The tiny little spool barely brushes it, but knocks it over into a table which sends stuff flying. We have a very fashionable artillery barrage, including a sewing machine and another ponykin. Rube Goldberg would be proud. Byt the end the room is completely trashed and Sweetie Belle goes and stands over there, completely crushed.
Back from the credits and the room is clean. Sweetie Belle asks about helping to clean up. No, she's helped quite enough. And Sweetie Belle says, "I'm sorry, sis." WHOA! Okay, back then this was a fairly big surprise! So, she has a younger sister! Celestia was wise to hide her. Now her failure is complete. But seriously, wow. I do love how casually it's established. One line and then moving on, as it should be. Sweetie Belle thought she'd be able to find her cutie mark. Rarity understands, but has a rather big order. Sweetie Belle is looking rather hurt and crushed and huggable throughout all this. Rarity can't have any more interruptions. And ohhai, Fluttershy! she thought the 'open' sign meant she was open. Aww. Dammit, why are all the ponies so huggable?! She backs up, but Rarity apologizes. Turns out she's got Opal, back from grooming. Opal bounces out of her basket and sparkles. Literally. Rarity wonders how she does it, because she can't get near without getting swatted at.
Okay.. first off, I have dealt with cats before. My dad owns two. I know they can be... insane. But thing is in 'Suited for Success' we saw Opal being remarkably pleasant and patient with Rarity and not swiping once at her. I am declaring this a continuity error. And Opal hisses and swats. What the hell?! This has always bugged me. Granted it's a small thing in the grand scheme, but it's still there. Rarity asks if she used the Stare on her, complete with dramatic sting!
Fluttershy balks at that. She couldn't, because she doesn't have control over it. Remember that for later on, folks. It's gonna hurt when we get to BATS! :D She's just good with animals. It's her special gift. Rarity says she should have a pic of Opal instead of the butterflies and Sweetie Belle thinks she can be good with animals, too. She races over and Opal almost decapitates her. "Or not." The two adults laugh at her almost losing a head, oh ho! Rarity's bitten off more than she can chew with the order, and Sweetie Belle remarks she's not eating anything. Hah, hah? Rarity has 20 special robes to make tonight for Trottingham tomorrow morning. She picks up a piece of cloth and waves it about, showing off a bit. ;) She's using a special gold silk, and Sweetie Belle's eyes go wide. Fluttershy wonders how she'll get it all done. Sweetie Belle pipes up, then pipes down faster than Mario.
Fluttershy walks off, and the rest of the CMC dart in! It's time for wacky hijinks! They gallop over to Sweetie Belle and do a minor info dump about their cutie mark planning session tonight. CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SLEEPOVER AT RARITY'S, YAY! And Sweetie Belle shows off some capes she made for the others. They're red with the now-familiar CMC logo on them. Honestly... not too shabby. But it turns out Sweetie Belle used a certain gold silk, that took so long to make. And I think we all know where she got this gold silk. Rarity realizes it in about a second, rcaes over and finds a sheet of the silk with three big patches cut out. Sweetie Belle, NOT cool! Rarity has a somewhat understated freakout considering what her sister did, and declares the sleepover cancelled. Sweetie Belle has a bit of a freakout. Hey, maybe if you didn't cut up Rarity's fabric without permission, dudette. All in all, that's pretty light IMHO.
Fluttershy volunteers to watch them, and gets a little... boastful about her abilities. Rarity's doubtful, natch. "They're quite a handful." Ohhai, Dash's confusion about 'hands' in EQG. :p Fluttershy calls them sweet angels and they beam with halos over their heads. Rarity finally says yes. They yell, run off and Fluttershy says so cute. Ah, Fluttershy. So naive. We come back from commercial and the CMC are racing off while Fluttershy flies along, thinking they'll have tea parties, braid each other's tails, sit quietly-HAH!-and tell each other fair tales. Oh, Fluttershy. You poor, sweet, naive little pegasus. She realizes they've raced off, and we pan over to them zooming past Twilight. They stop to play by a well and reenact that episode where Bart falls down a well or Baby Jessica. Fluttershy flies up and Twilight says she's off to Zecora's for some tea. I guess Captain Picard is over. Nice little bit of continuity. Fluttershy freaks out a bit and asks if she'll be careful. Smart mare, there. Twilight asks about the CMC, learns about the sleepover and says everyone's got their hooves full. She wonders if Fluttershy can handle it. God, I'm wondering if Trixie shows up to ask if she can handle it. And man, that'd be pretty damned cool.
We cut to Fluttershy's cottage at night, but I have no sunglasses at the moment. She shuts the top half of her door and we're inside. The CMC are running about, one asking if somethying are 'tickets'. That's the closed caption, folks. Reference to her Gala tickets, perhaps? The animals are disturbed, too. Fluttershy repeats her 'no problem at all' madness mantra and asks what they'd like to do. They act like they drank an entire pot of coffee. Each. They also jump around. Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Apple Bloom nearly tips over a chair, Sweetie Belle gets her muzzle stuck in a birdhouse. She tries to get them to do a tea party, but no. Adventuring in the Everfree! Fluttershy, holding the majority of common sense in this house, stops them. Too many strange creatures. Sweetie Belle takes the logical step that Fluttershy go with them to catch the creatures. They can be CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CREATURE CATCHERS!!! Apple Bloom and Scootaloo dress up as a Scooby-Doo monster and Sweetie Belle tries to catch them. Gotta catch them all!
You know beyond a few episodes of the first season and playing Super Smash Brothers: Melee I have no real exposure to Pokemon.
They run around, ignoring Fluttershy. And there's some crashing offscreen. A table is destroyed, and they're contrite. So they try to be CMC Carpenters! Hmm, I'd make a Carpenters reference, but I can't recall any of their songs off the top of my head. So instead, "Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard!" I am wondering where they got those things on their head and stethoscopes. And actually what those things on their head actually do. We go offscreen for the usual heavy machinery sound effects and Fluttershy's reactions sell it far better than if we actually saw it. We come back to them and it looks like something Picasso would do. Apparently Scootaloo didn't even know they were trying for a table. It is quite funny and well-done. One wonders how Apple Bloom would've done solo.
Fluttershy yanks it offscreen and tries them for the game of 'shhh'! Who can stay quiet the longest? She's the world champion. And I read a fic a long time ago where we see actual Shhh competition. And yes, Fluttershy retained her title. :D We have a squeaky smile and the game starts. The CMC lose and run rampant. Again. CMC coal miners? Loretta Lynn, where are you?! Nope, bedtime. Fluttershy tries to be sweet, but it comes off as more saccharine to the CMC. This is also pretty danged early for bedtime IMHO. But Fluttershy herds them upstairs to bed. Apple Bloom wonders how they'll find their special talent in their sleep, and Fluttershy says maybe they'll have a lovely dream.
And somewhere Luna's ears perk up, but her contract says not until season three. Aww, dang.
Scootaloo pipes up that they're not even tired. Fluttershy sings them a lullaby. It's sweet and lovely. They begin drifting off, but Sweetie Belle pipes up and lets her pipes explode! Aretha Franklin would be proud. :D The bed is rocking like this one skit from Sesame Street involving Bert and Ernie. She's so loud, the chickens in Fluttershy's coop... fly the coop! Fluttershy puts up a clock, turns and finds the CMC have also flown the coop! She looks out the window and sees them there. Sweetie belle ponders what could've caused them to go nuts, and I legit can't tell if she's being snide or not. They go to 'herd' them, but really they just run around and cause even more chaos. Fluttershy flies down and finally snaps. "GIRLS!" She clucks her tongue and begins herding the chickens to the coop. They won't go in, so we get our first 'official' use of the Stare. Complete with eerie music and the image goes wobbly. We even get a stink-eye at the end!
After that little display, the CMC go to bed. She leaves and they get up to plan more crusading. Apple Bloom looks out the window and spots tracks leading from the coop to the Everfree. They sneak down while Fluttershy says it wasn't 'that' hard. Ah, Fluttershy. Why must you make this into a house of lies?! They sneak out and part of Scootaloo's cape gets conveniently torn off on the fencepost. Fluttershy realizes it's too quiet, and flies up to find them gone. She flies to the coop, finds 'Elizabeak' missing, spots the tracks and then the torn bit of cape on the post. She realizes they went into the Everfree, and goes after them. She realizes she bit off way more than she can chew. She takes a breath and flies in, probably scared out of her mind.
We wipe to the CMC walking along, ominous owl hooting. Apple Bloom calls for the chicken and we get the 'Scootaloo is a chicken' meme. And I chuckle. Apple Bloom knows how to call a chicken! "Scootaloo! Scoot-Scootaloo!" Oh, damn that's good. They walk off just as ominous glowing eyes open up. Sweetie Belle tells them to stop and is almost grabbed by the wind bending a tree branch shaped like a claw. yeah, makes just as much sense in context. Apple Bloom decides maybe arguing's their special talent! Scootaloo argues it isn't.A And Apple Bloom even has Scootaloo check for a cutie mark. They laugh and walk off as eerie wind kicks up.
We pan over to Fluttershy following them. She tries, but a broken branch and it's Dragonshy all over again. She backs into a tree, no beeping thank god! She gallops off, but in the distance spies Twilight. Oh, yay! She trots up, relieved, until the moon comes out and twilight is a fucking statue! Fluttershy taps it and it falls over. Thank god it didn't, I don't know, SHATTER! She realizes what happened and flies off, leaving the statue behind. Okay, to be fair not like she could carry it and find the CMC quickly. And she flies back to tell Twilight not to move. Ooh, groan! Hiss!
We cut to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo still arguing and Sweetie Belle tells them their special talent's not arguing. She even wonders what a cutie mark of that would look like. Hmm, a lectern? A megaphone? Fluttershy catches up and says they must leave at once. There's a cockatrice on the loose. It has the head of a chicken and body of a snake. They think it's silly. And Apple Bloom says she'd laugh at one if she ever saw it face-to-face. Fluttershy says no, but before she can explain Elizabeak runs out of a bush. The CMC chase after her, but an animal growling stops them short Sweetie Belle spots a chicken head in the bush, but another head pops up. Sweetie Belle swipes at one, which is an actual chicken. The other ducks, and then slithers into the sky. It's a cockatrice! It scares the CMC, flies over and turns Elizabeak to stone. Holy damn, that's good. The CMC are freaked and run off, but Scootaloo trips on a rock and it's a three-CMC pileup on the interstate. Unlike Dash, she doesn't accuse Apple Bloom of cheating, though.
They find Twilight's statue with a friggin' snail crawling across it. That's just... damn! They freak out even more and the cockatrice flies over. Fluttershy gets assertive and calls for them behind her. NOW! And... it happens. The staring contest of DOOM! Fluttershy chews it out, it tries but she out-stares it while being petrified! Fluttershy, you. Are. BADASS! She breaks the spell and the cockatrice turns Twilight and Elizabeak back to normal. The CMC praise Fluttershy and deliver a title-drop. They apologize and promise to listen to her. Fluttershy says they better, or she'll give them... THE STARE! They laugh while in the background, the cockatrice flies off. Twilight wanders onscreen, probably pretty out of it.
The next day, or later in the same day, the CMC are running around. Fluttershy is filling in Twilight on what happened, who is writing a letter to Celestia. Twilight says she was wrong and Fluttershy could handle then, but Fluttershy admits she was wrong. She thought good with animals equaled good with kids. Nope. Rarity shows up, having just delivered the capes. She says she might not have without Fluttershy. She picks up the CMC, but they don't pay attention. Fluttershy gets them lined up and rarity is agog. And Fluttershy... says she's just as good with kids as animals. Okay... that's a disconnect, there. Rarity says she might need help with Opal, and she turns to see the cat latched onto her right flank. OUCH! They chuckle at her legit pain, and fade-out.
Thoughts
Stare Master is a good episode with a good lesson. Don't bite off more than you can chew. All three adults learned that the hard way. This is the first CMC-centereed episode, a harbinger of the chaos to come. Also expanding the families a bit with Sweetie Belle as Rarity's sister. Semi-big shock back then.
There's some legit good shocks and creepy shit with the cockatrice, and the Staring Contest was awesome. I am still amused and tickled pink that Twilight lost to the thing. :D Ursa Minors, no problem. Cockatrices, problem! :p Somewhere, Trixie is snickering. And so am I.
We get the Stare, too. I like it... but to be honest, sometimes the fandom makes it out to be way too powerful. One of the only two things I liked about 'Keep Calm' was Discord no-selling the danged thing!
Heaqdcanon
In the Hasbroverse, the CMC expanded into the CMC 2.0. Dinky was added, as well as the daughters of Megan I created, Danielle and Michelle. Danielle and Michelle are 'honorary' members, but got capes and are best friends with them. Danielle is the Only Sane One of the bunch, but holds them back about as well as a screen door can hold back a tsunami! And since Dinky is Doctor Whooves' daughter, that means...
CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TARDIS OPERATORS! YAY Admittedly they had to get the danged thing working again, but that's a story for another time...
I don't know if I can get a review done tomorrow, sorry. I get paid and I'm going to go see X-Men: Days of Future Past. But if I can, then it's... Show-Stoppers? Dang, that's CMC overload! 
Wikipedia to the rescue! They help focus the light a little so the doctor can see better when she looks down your throat.
Aw, "Stare Master". One of the handful of episodes that supports my belief that Fluttershy is a bit of a Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass. In some stories I plan on writing that might get turned up to eleven.
That's sad. Gotta catch'em all.
I remember that Three Stooges short. "Men in Black" it's called. I really love the Three Stooges.
Never read it but heard of it. Doesn't she compete against Angel and a dead body?
I've been skimming past these as they've come up, but I immediately regretted it after reading the most recent one. I'll try not to clutter old blogs with comments, but this one? This one I don't feel so bad about.
Because it's not like the characters are allowed to develop their abilities at all, or that she set a precedent by trying to Stare down Discord in "Keep Calm and Flutter On," as you noted. No, that's ridiculous.
(Mind you, I have nothing to say in defense of Opal's behavior or the "hands" thing.)
Internet video captions are generally less than reliable, even if they are how Steven Magnet got his name. The wiki transcript indicates that the line is "chickens," which makes rather more sense.