Pornography VS Erotica: some thoughts · 4:28pm May 8th, 2014
Note: This BLOG post will be about sexuality and pornography, so please turn away now, kids and people at work.
Here's a phrase you've probably heard a lot of smug holier-than-thou people say. "I have absolutely no interest in hardcore pornography."
Here's a phrase you've probably never heard anybody say. "I'm not right."
I've been around the internet long enough to see all sides of this coin, but the constant in every single argument I've seen is that everybody, absolutely everybody, thinks that their way of looking at things is "right", and a majority of the time, this leads them to believe that everybody who looks at things differently is "wrong". After all "right" and "wrong" are the only two possibilities, right? Everything is one of these two things, right?
I don't like hardcore porn, in any form. I don't particularly like watching porn movies, or reading porn fanfiction (which is what this is more about in the context of FIMfiction). Not because I have some moralistic objection to it, but because it generally bores me. 20 minutes (or 2000 words) of humping and grinding in random positions bores me. For me the lead-up is far more interesting and engaging. The interaction of the characters, the way they talk to one another, their intentions towards one-another, their reasoning for entering into it, the way they treat each other during the act. These things are the reason I enjoy erotic fanfiction, and people have noted that the sex scenes I do write tend to be less detailed and more abstract (or perhaps simply more "plain") than most on the site. This isn't an accident, it's not inexperience, it's because it's what I enjoy. Long detailed descriptions of nothing but physical sex acts bores me.
However, I'll reiterate that... I am not "correct" in this. I'm simply not. What I like isn't what you like. What you like isn't what I like. And neither of us is wrong. Neither of us is correct. Not everything is a matter of right and wrong, sometimes things just ARE. At one point I would have described some things as "weird" and "wrong", but over time I've come to regard everything as just existing. For me now, fetishes are basically like eye-color. Yeah, I have a preference for the ones I think are prettiest, but that doesn't make blue eyes more correct than brown eyes. Red hair isn't more correct than blonde.
If you have a scat fetish I probably won't date you, but not because I think you're wrong, simply because we're "incompatible". We're different, but different is not wrong. I don't know how many different ways I can say this, but one more time...
Sexual preferences, whether it be sexual orientation, fetishes, or the type of porn/erotica you like, are not a matter of "right" and "wrong". They just EXIST.
I know a lot of people are probably just going to scoff and say I'm flat-out wrong because their personal/religious beliefs tell them that I'm wrong. That certain things, or maybe even pornography/erotica as a concept, is wrong. To these people, I really have nothing to say to you. Morals can't be argued and debated. I can talk about sociology and psychology all day and all night and it will never impact the opinion of someone with a moral grounding for their opinion. Morals are not flexible barring extreme life-altering circumstances. The best I can say to you is "if you don't like it, don't read it."
And then there's the people who are open-minded within limits, as oxymoronic as this sounds. People who are okay with everything, think everyone has their own ways and opinions... except for "THOSE people". I know you've heard this sort of thing before. "To each their own, we all have our own preferences... but seriously, furries are sick bastards." Or perhaps "love is beautiful in all its forms, but incest is gross and should be wiped off of the site!" The acceptance of freedom "within limits" just confuses me. You acknowledge that everyone has their own opinions that are equally valid and then turn around and openly place your opinion above the opinions of a specific group of people? It just boggles my mind that it doesn't occur to people how strange and frankly hypocritical it is. I don't even understand this line of thinking as a concept. Why do you think you get to draw the line of acceptability when you refuse to let anybody else do so and tell you that your preferences are bad?
This may seem like a whole bunch of rambling nonsense, but in conclusion the point I'm trying to make is that the "pornography VS erotica" argument, as far as the line between them and what kind of content is or is not acceptable... is meaningless. They're just two versions of the same thing. Which is "right" to you is simply which one you find more appealing. It's like arguing about whether it's more okay to be attracted to butts or feet. A lot of people would say butts (because only "THOSE people" find feet sexy, obviously), but if you think about it, there's no actual difference except for popular perception of it.
And frankly, popular perception of a lot of us here on FIMfiction is that we're all weird and gross to an extent. We're not supposed to like ponies. We're not supposed to like cartoons. We're not supposed to like shows starring women. We're not supposed to like innocent cartoons starring female ponies. But are we wrong for doing so? Of course not. So why would we accuse each other, why would we berate and chastise each other, for having "unpopular preferences" in other areas? Why would we judge one-another? Live and let live means everybody does their own thing without harming everybody else.
P.S. because I've seen this "rebuttal" come up a thousand times, no, not a single word of this advocates involving real-life children in adult activities. Fetishes and fantasies are harmless and hurt nobody, THAT is not harmless and it does blatantly hurt somebody. So don't even bother bringing it up.
Hit the nail on the head, you did. I used to be one of those people who was weirded out by uncommon fetishes and such. I thought that clop was bizarre, and sent me running. Now, I just see it as another type of porn/erotica. In general, if people enjoy doing something and nobody gets hurt (without consent), then I don't see a problem with it. I may not be into it myself, but I've no right to tell others not to be.
Reminds me of a comment I saw on this site some time ago, in the comments of a story. Someone referred to another reader as "horse-loving trash." Isn't it strange how bigoted and prejudiced people seem to take personal offense to things that other people do, whether those things involve them or not?
damn why is there no "read later" button for blog posts ?
need to read it, because the start is promising.
Yeah, I'm right there with you. There are fetishes that I don't get and those that I find outright disgusting, but I'm not gonna tell someone that they're wrong for liking them. As long as people don't try to shove that stuff in my face, then to each their own.
Nice one. It's good to see there are truly open-minded people out there. Loved the part about people who are open-minded "within limits." I don't think one is truly open-minded if they can't accept anything. That doesn't mean they need to approve of it, just that they should, at least, accept it, even if it does grate against their sensibilities.
I feel the same way about writing erotica. Spending 2,000 words on exactly where Rarity's tongue was against Fluttershy's clit really gets me out of the mood and feeling silly. However, ending a great build-up with "…and then they did it" is even more so anti-climatic. Describing orgasm is even more tricky, so I usually tend to go for an over-the-top description. I should try toning it down sometime.
My personal plan is that my characters often think while making love, so it's not all just about their physical pleasure and there isn't as sharp of a break from the non-clop to the clop.