In search of Pre-Reader. · 1:09am Apr 13th, 2014
[Tagged LaToFF because the story heavily features Fleur and Fancy]
For the past couple months, I've had this story sitting in the back of my brain. A few weeks ago it decided to start pushing to the fore. As of this writing I have three completed chapters (kind of) and two in progress. At the bottom of this blog I will post the story 'description' and links to the first two completed chapters. What I need more than anything else are comments on whether the sentences sound and flow properly. I don't need suggestions for how to fix them, I don't need grammar policing, I just need to know that it reads well. All you would need to do is read, and anywhere that you trip up, feel confused, or if something just doesn't sound quite right, comment exactly that.
Tags are as follows:
Dark, Alternate Universe (Thriller/Suspense)
Luna, Fleur, Fancy, OC
The total word count is just a smidge over 3k.
Salvation:
Fleur, the mare that mares wanted to be and stallions just wanted. Her life shined like the sun, gorgeous beyond compare, rich, talented, pampered, married to the only stallion who could hope to measure up. She had everything... almost, but that was going to change.
Some dreams fade away, others are severed.
Atonement:
To the public, Luna's return was naught but a joyous affair. A pony-tale come true. Centuries parted sisters reunited at long last, smiles on every face, forever smiling, plastic... fake. Trust is not so easily repaired and, even after a thousand years, some wounds never heal.
And some mistakes refuse to die.
Ooo, and so, it begins!
