My take on Cheating Death · 4:32pm Feb 14th, 2014
So, I recently read “Cheating Death” by WIL_I_ZIN, and it was fairly entertaining. Worth a thumbs up, at least - though I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re looking for something of great quality like Arrow 18 or Off the Beaten Path - but it got me thinking.
See, the premise of the story is that Felix, the main character, died before he was fated to. To be specific, he was killed trying to save a girl from hitting a train when fate demanded that he not notice the girl’s plight. So, he meets a paper-pushing Death who tends to both the human world and the pony world, and is given a chance to go back in time so that he’d survive. The protagonist, however, decides to flip Death off and tricks him into sending him to Equestria instead.
What I hated about this fic is how stupid his motivations for going there are. He’s abandoned his entire life, his parents, his… EVERYTHING because he wanted to play with the ponies. And hug Fluttershy. What’s more irritating is that there are perfectly good reasons as to why he could have done what he did, and he decided that playing with ponies was enough.
So, in order to vent my frustrations and get my creative muse flowing, I’ve decided to write a hypothetical scene in his story wherein Felix talks about his motivations, and makes sense (to me, at least). I’m not saying that this scene would do well in the story itself - it’s completely different in tone from the story itself, and meshing this in there would just make it look messy - but I just had to get to writing this. Don’t worry; there aren’t any spoilers beyond the very first chapter, so you can read this to your heart’s content.
WARNING: SHITTY AUTHOR TRACT BASED ON CHEATING DEATH INCOMING
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“So, why did you… trick death?” Twilight asked, still incredulous as to the existence of such a being - and not in the least bit skeptical. “You were given a second chance at life, after all; why go to an unfamiliar place like this?”
“Well, it’s not entirely unfamiliar. This place is the setting for a TV show back on Earth, after all.” Felix frowned. “Well, it seems like it’s inspired by this place at least. I don’t know how accurate the show is.”
“Please don’t dodge the question, Felix,” Twilight said, having already been told of this many times previously.”
“Right,” Felix said, sipping from a cup of tea prepared for him. “Man, this tea is really- alright, I’ll tell you! Don’t glare like that!” He sighed with relief when the purple unicorn smiled and nodded. “Anyway. You already know the gist of what happened; I was hit by a train trying to save a girl, Death picked me and some pegasus up to go who knew where, he told me that he’d change the circumstances so that I’d survive because I wasn’t fated to die, yadda yadda yadda.
“See, the thing is that back in World War Two - I’ll tell you what I can about it later, just let me talk for now - Back in World War Two - which happened way before I was born, I might add - eleven million civilians died in what’s known as the Holocaust. This isn’t counting soldiers or the like, we’re talking civilians. Women, children and weak men suffocated to death in gas chambers while the able were forced to work themselves to death. All because the man in charge of that country hated their ethnicity. I mean, there’s probably more to it, but that’s the most important bit.”
Twilight paled upon hearing this, and Felix couldn’t blame her; according Twilight, Equestria’s population hadn’t even reached the twenty million mark. “So many ponies…” she muttered to herself.
“People,” Felix corrected the unicorn. “And if what Death said is true, then the guys in charge decided that the Holocaust was supposed to happen. And that’s terrible, but not really reprehensible; it’s entirely possible that they wanted to promote human free will and just not alter our fates, and I'd be cool with that. But Death said that premature deaths happen - rarely, but they do. And he was planning to send me back in time to ensure that I’d die at the right time, which means that whoever's up there already decided to throw free will out the window!”
Felix’s voice began to raise, though he evidently noticed this and stopped. “This is… It’s terrible, but what does this have to do with you coming here?” Twilight asked while he took a minute to calm down.
“I’m getting to that,” he muttered. “Anyway, when I died, I was supposed to not do anything at all to save the girl, and I was supposed to turn my life around after the incident. She wasn’t fated to die, thankfully, but it made me wonder: how many people were fated to die in order to help another? How many children were sacrificial lambs to help 'improve' their parents? How many people are driven to depression so that they kill themselves at just the right time?”
Twilight could have sworn that she saw a spark in the boy’s eye. “I don’t know for sure, but it seems that the closer fate is to reality, the easier it is to alter one or the other. But it also seems that most everybody up there is tyrannical and doesn’t actually care about mortals like myself or yourself. They’re controlling our lives - for incomprehensible, technically ‘divine’ reasons, maybe, but evidently not for our benefit. I view it as my mission - as one who has not only escaped my own fate but altered the very fate of Equestria - to remove their influence over us.”
"And that relates to coming here... how?"
Felix grinned at that. "I wasn't supposed to be here. My existence in Equestria is a huge anomaly that the higher ups, whoever they are, won't know what to do with. The more I alter fate, the weaker their grasp on this place." His grin shrunk and he closed his eyes. "At least, that's my theory for now. I'd take a more permanent solution if I found one."
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Yeah, sorry about this. I know it’s basically an Author Tract, but I needed to get this off my chest and post it somewhere. I obviously wasn’t going to post it as a story of its own, due to it consisting of only one scene, so here it is.
If you didn’t realize, I’m an apatheist. If God was (or gods were, or something) known to exist, I’d either apatheic or misotheic, depending on how much He (or they) messed with our lives.
… Huh. Weird first Blog Post, huh? Probably won’t leave a good first impression. Anyways.
Thanks for checking this out! Thank you for being weird enough to decide to read this!
"Probably won’t leave a good first impression."
Quite the reverse, at least in my case; I was already thinking of following you after you followed me, and this rather clinched it. I agree that it's a weird first blog post, though. :)