Drops of Silver: Analyzing A Hairy Problem Part 2 · 12:32am Jan 27th, 2014
Hey y’all!
Here I am again, this time, with the next part of my multiple part review for 'A Hairy Problem'. Again, if you haven't read that story yet, I suggest you do. You really shouldn't be reading these reviews withou having first read the stories, should you? This review will cover chapters 5-10.
Anyway, just want to say, y'all can expect many more reviews in the future, as I was recently swamped in stories that authors want me to review. As such, I will be doing my best to help them out, but I can only go so fast, so please don't try to rush me.
Now, let's get to reviewing!
Alright, so where do I start? The basic storyline, in general, is incredibly well written. I will reiterate, I love this fic. I'm being more drawn into it as I read it. You might be asking, just what is so appealing about this story? It is well written in most aspects. The general storyline, about Applejack dealing with being a werewolf, and she is trying to deal with that. Is a big draw for me. Another is the comedy. There are several little things here and that could make me laugh. The characters stick mostly to their true selves, and the author didn't seem to try an deviate from their cores. Mostly. I'll get to that later. Of course, this is all generalization. Let me get into a little more detail about the highs and lows of this story.
At one point, Applejack starts developing a taste for meat. Right now this wasn't too big of a concern for me. I figured that Applejack would just learn to deal with it, and she'd be fine. When she ate half a burger, well, I started to lose hope she would overcome it, and when I saw how hungrily she ate the burger Lyra had, any remaining hope was smashed to pieces and thrown down a hole that lead straight to hell. I had hopes Applejack wouldn't have to eat meat, but I see now that this is not the case. I personally hate meat, and seeing such a peaceful, and my second favorite pony, eating meat was heart breaking. Not in a tear jerking way, of course, but in a 'really?' kind of way. Maybe something will change as the story progresses. I mean she has to get better. Every story has a happy ending, so eventually, she won't eat meat. It's just what she does eat in the mean time that scares me. Of course, the author could be like me, in which there won't be a happy ending, and more likely a depressing one (which I really hope against).
Big Mac, when he hears howling, decides it is Applejack. Now at first, I was thinking “What? Why would he automatically think it was Applejack?” But you have to remember, he had to deal with both his parents being werewolves, so it actually makes sense. So okay, fine. But then he grabs a silver knife. Okay, what the hell was he planning on doing with a silver knife? Was he planning on stabbing Applejack? Would he actually have the strength to kill his sister? Or even have thoughts about it? That seems so... evil, for Mac. I can't even begin to try and understand what was going on in his mind then. Applejack's a werewolf. Okay, that's obvious. She could be dangerous. Okay, fine. But then grabbing a knife made to kill werewolves, so he could potentially kill his sister? Even if he wanted to 'free' her from her current state, did he only take a few minutes to come to that conclusion? Shouldn't killing your own sister be something you think about, a lot? Maybe he thought it was a different werewolf? But he was just thinking about how Applejack was a werewolf, so that doesn't seem very plausible.
Then he finds Applejack at their parents grave. Okay, fine. Why isn't she still a werewolf? Why did she chose to go back to being a pony. Doesn't it take will power to change back and forth? And wasn't Applejack in a state of emotional distress? So how does she focus enough to turn back into a pony, when she didn't even know Big Mac would follow her? Why would she even bother? Now I had to remember, this is a fanfic, so the author is in complete control of the characters, and is the mastermind behind all the plots and what is going on and why, but I always thought some of this was just common knowledge. So Big mac gets there, then he comforts AJ. His thoughts are. 'I won't let anything harm you' kind of thoughts. Wait! Didn't he just grab a silver knife to potentially kill her? And one last thing about this, where did the silver knife go when Big Mac was comforting his sister? Did he drop it, hide it? Maybe the author forgot, which seems more likely. Or maybe I missed that part.
I am SO glad the author put Iron Will in this story. He is a great character, with the way he talks and what he says. I glad we got to take a look into his personal life, but I just wish it had been under... better circumstances. We see him, with his parents, and hear a little about his culture, then he leaves. No elaboration on his home, no little trip through his homeland, nothing. Of course, this might be for the better, since we don't want to deviate to far from the main story, but he looks to be a pretty big part of the story now, what with him hunting for a werewolf. Then there was the whole escapade in the forest. I cannot tell you how hard I laughed when him and the manticore began to show off to each other in an attempt to impress the other. That was hilarious, since he was supposed to attack it, but it took his actions the wrong way. Then Angle 'Rambun' Bunny comes. I honestly have no idea what goes on in his head during the show, nor do I during this story. He is stubborn, disillusioned, and bossy. Of course, it can be funny at times. When Fluttershy found iron Will at her door and heard his brief explanation before he passed out... I almost fell over. When you read a comedy or random fic, you are expecting it, so it doesn't come as much of a surprise, so it takes something really wacky to make you really laugh. When you read a fic like this, you aren't really expecting it.
“It’s a loooooooong story, ma’am, one that involves a pack of angry timberwolves, a needle gun, and wolf traps being operated by the most drunken goats who ever lived!”
-Iron Will
You have to admit, that was funny. But I can already predict, he is going to end up fighting Applejack, in some way, probably even hurting her, before he is shown what is going on.
So then how about Sandalwood, hmm? Well, I for one, think for being an OC, she is already being very well developed. I can understand her already, her basic personality. She seems to be one of those 'normal' ponies. The kind who aren't shy (like Fluttershy), but aren't outgoing (like Pinkie Pie). She is nice, and forgiving, and able to keep a secret, and has a weak stomach. And... that's all I have to say about her for now. Time will tell the rest of her personality.
Okay, now here is a part I have really mixed emotions about. The whole dog scene. While it, in one way, entertaining, it is, in another, dark for me. It was funny of course. Applejack is being chased by hoards of angry and lustful dogs. Who won't laugh at that? Me. It was just... wrong. Because Applejack was a werewolf, and she was in heat, she was giving off the smell dogs associate with 'I want sex'. While that by itself I could tolerate, here's what really threw me off. Not only does every single male dog suddenly want o have sex with her, they all dump their 'girlfriend' dogs for her. That wasn't okay. No wonder the female dogs looked like they wanted to kill AJ. If you were a girl, and another girl was stealing your guy, wouldn't you do something similar, or at least want to? And how in the world does Sandalwood know what that particular scent smells like? Unless she... no. It doesn't make sense. Does she specifically study dogs, and their various scents? Not likely.
Now just what was going on with the mail train? For one, how did the driver not know what was gouging the fuel tanks, or scratching up his train? How did he not notice something got on? How did the werewolf manage cut gouges juts big enough to let out the pressure from the fuel tanks without actually causing them to explode as the train speeds by? We must be dealing with a master acrobat here.
Also, Sandalwood seems to have a really large knowledge of werewolves and their behavioral patterns. Must be thanks to her freaky knowledge of canines and their bodily functions.
(sorry, just trying to be funny)
And, that's it for this review. Overall, this is a very amazing story, I just mainly pointed out what was wrong, but there was a lot more that was good. We'll see what else is in store for this story, but I have high hopes (even though I don't want some things to happen).
See y'all!
Nice! I think that this review is going really great! Keep up the good work!
Well thank you.
I feel the need to elaborate on a few points you brought up in the review:
- Big Mac and the knife/graveyard scene: the knife was more for self-protection than anything. After all, Big Mac knows what to expect as a worst case scenario if AJ was both a werewolf and was going to attack him. As for Applejack self-reverting to being a pony on her own, that's me using some liberties with how lycanthropy would theoretically work in Equestria in conjunction with AJ's idea about her self-image. There, she's basically presenting herself to her parents, so she doesn't want to appear like a monster to them, and it's enough of an emotional thing that she can override the need to be in wolf form.
- The dog chase scene: essentially the whole 'phermones' thing was an excuse for me to have a silly chase scene (I.E. the seagulls chasing Marlin and friends in Finding Nemo through the Sydney marina) and to bring in the car. The title of the chapter also ties it as a reference to the Bumpus Dogs in A Christmas Story who always chase after Ralphie's dad apparently without reason.
- Train damage: I'm working off the assumption that pony steam engines as of S2 on work like real world steam engines, so the fuel can't have been damaged since it's in the tender behind the engine. The damage was to the drive pistons and rods that turn the wheels, with the intention of the scale of damage without actually exploding showing how powerful and skilled the vandal is.
1764756 Well, that clears it up.
-The graveyard scene, okay, that makes alot of sense now.
-The dog scene, it made sense, but I just didn't like it. There wasn't any plot holes found with it, it was just a personal opinion.
-Sure, I guess I can go with that.
Anyway, hope my review made sense and didn't sound like a incoherent rambling.
Thanks for the story
1765122
Oh, it wasn't even remotely close to ranting. I appreciate that you point these things out as issues with the story, as that allows me to diagnose the problems and see if they are something that needs fixing to my style of writing. Please, by all means keep the review coming!