Apologies for some bad news · 9:26am Dec 25th, 2013
Good morning all, Merry Christmas to whoever chances across this blog, and to those people I also apologise as this won't be a happy one. I shan't be doing as I normally do at this point and tag all my stories because I don't have much to say about most of them, and because that's apparently not something I should be doing anyway. I have tagged The Truth because I have a little bit of related news, but I'll get to that in a bit.
I'm announcing, only here for the moment since I'm not sure about doing it anywhere else just yet, that my grandmother on my father's side, my Granny, has died. I'm not sure when precisely but I assume it was at some point early in the morning. My father is of course very upset at his loss, and we worry about telling Grandad in case that finishes him off, too.
We would have to tell Grandad in the first place because, for a few years now, he and Granny had been living separately. He has been "managing", and I use the term loosely, to live on his own in their little house/flat/whatever it classes as, ever since Granny was moved into a care home because she had dementia. To be perfectly honest he would have been better off in a home as well, but he was disappointed by Granny's complete lack of recognition towards him when we tried it out a while ago and hasn't been back to the home, or any other, since. This is despite being nearly blind, nearly deaf, nearly immobile, and several other age-related things. The stubbornness of the elderly...
Granny's dementia was very bad by the time she died. She was completely unable to recognise any of her family, even my Dad, latterly, and the only form of speech she was capable of was complete gibberish, nonsense words and the like. She couldn't be relied upon to feed herself, clean herself, dress herself, she could barely even be made to walk anywhere whilst being led by someone, then she fell and hurt her ankle and that saw to that. In short, she was no longer my grandmother, no longer the funny and caring woman who we all used to know and love.
And now that she's dead, I don't feel especially sad. Perhaps it just hasn't set in yet, but I am not made overly unhappy by Granny's death. If not for the feelings of my family, I feel little different from how I might on any other day, and would be able to go about my business, such as it is, with little hindrance. This fact disturbs me somewhat, seeing as you might perhaps expect some form of emotional reaction on such an occasion, but I really don't feel it. It's just not forthcoming.
I am of course upset for Dad, and if he got emotional about it then I likely would too, especially if I was giving him a hug or something. But I'd be upset for him as opposed to anything else.
I didn't see Granny all that much, even for the while before her dementia really began to show, but I suppose it was as though she was already dead when it did. This thin, wispy haired, toothless and bony fingered infant in an adult's body was not my Granny, and I do remember being sad about her before now, so perhaps I had already "mourned" her, in my own way, and that is why I don't feel so upset.
Why am I writing all of this, ruining your otherwise happy mornings with a tale of brain sickness and death? I don't know, myself. I suppose it might be nice to hear your voices on the matter, if you have anything to say about it, and if you yourself feel up to it. Don't feel you have to, though, as I think I'm mostly just giving myself something to do because I feel I should be doing something.
In other news, I may have finally had some inspiration regarding The Truth's final outcome. It came from the season, so take from that what you will, and may or may not be written and posted up today, it depends on whether I have the time or inclination.
Other other news is that I am working on another story, a Transformers crossover that I hadn't announced before, because some inspiration for it flashed before my eyes and I decided to pounce on it whilst I had the chance. For certain, rather lazy definitions of "pounce", as it is still coming along very slowly. This has absolutely nothing to do with being distracted by World of Tanks, nosirree...
Silent, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.
That's about it from me. Again, I'm sorry about the bad news on Christmas morning, but I do hope you all have a happy holiday, and I may as well sign off by wishing you Merry Christmas once again.
I can't tell you whether it will hit you later or not, but either way you have my condolences.
My condolences to you and your family. I am lucky enough not to have had the experience of seeing a relative or friend fall victim to dementia, so I don't think I should be the one to share my thoughts on that particular matter. My grandfather on my fathers side passed away many years ago. I was old enough to realise what that meant, but young enough to be a bit selfish about the whole thing. Like you, it didn't affect me too much emotionally. Perhaps it will happen for you at some point, but if it doesn't, I wouldn't worry about it. That's just being human. What is important is being there for your family in a time like this, which from the sound of things you are already doing.
I hope you and your family can find some sense of comfort or maybe even peace in the coming days, no matter how small or little it may be.
I think I can understand how you feel. I had a grandfather whose health deteriorated very slowly. Parkinson disease is the kind of horrible sickness that takes its time, but can only get worse... His body became more and more impotent, but his mind always remained sharp. I can't tell if that's better or worse...
Anyway, the last time I saw him, he was just a human wreck in a hospital bed who could hardly do anything at all. So when he finally passed away, there was some sadness, but mostly relief, as horrible as that might sound.
Whether that helps or not, you have my condolences.
I don't know what to say,
may flights of angels carry her to her rest.
I'm sorry for your loss. Know that I will be there for you if you ever need anyone to talk to about this or any other matter you may run into. Both here and in World of Tanks, if we happen to be online at the same time.
I'm staring that road straight in the face - both my grandfathers, biological (who I never knew) and step, walked that road to their ends. I have some experience dealing with dementia. Know that I understand intimately when I express my deepest sympathies.
1646024 1646110 1646178 1646316 1646461 1647199 Thanks for your kind words, everyone. I suppose I must have been feeling somewhat out of sorts, as I now feel somewhat better than I did before. It's going to be a while until everything's sorted out (being Christmas everything's closed for the holidays), but it's good to know you guys are thinking of me (up myself though that may sound
).
Thanks again.
1650524
Very welcome!
1650524 Your most welcome.
1650524
Hey, what are friends for?