"The Order" Poem By Fiend from the Darkness

Hey guys! I got a message from a very talented user on this site, Fiend from the Darkness, yesterday. Phantom enjoys writing poems based off fanfics he's enjoyed on this site. He happened to write a poem based off The Order and was kind enough to share it with me. With his permission, I have posted it here.

Click the break for more!

I think it's an awesome, beautiful little poem that fits the story to a tee, and I'm very flattered to have received it! I hope you guys enjoy it as well! If you do, go show Fiend some love!

The Order

Stuck in a place
Because of his race
And forced to love from afar

Flash looks at his life
The division and strife
He raises his spear to save

Love cannot bloom
When there is no room
His chances sealed in a tomb

And twilight will fall
In Histories Hall
Forced to follow his destiny's call

In a moment, all can change
In a moment, magic down the range
All it takes is a moment of rage
Like feelings released from a tiny cage

But that moment may come and go
Supressed by all who think they know
The best way to go is status quo

So Flash loses his chance
And continues to dance
Atop feelings forbidden to him

And he must continue on
Each new dawn
With a mask so tightly drawn

That when it breaks
Like striking snakes
He will be gone from her

For now he is forced wait
Resigned to his saddening fate
And hope being near her is enough to sate
His love for the Princess of change

Feelings his love can never return
Trying stop his heart's slow burn
Try and make his heart relearn
Their love can never have a turn

The Order is what keeps the peace
Never will the order cease
Forever will the order reign

Thanks again, Fiend from the Darkness! You're a very talented poet.

Comments

[nodamnbrakes]

and yet her butt
still slammed shut

[Danger Noodle]

Nice!

[Bad_Seed_72]

1642181

Now that's another talented guy.

[Manes]

And you're very talented Bad_Seed_72

[Shadow_Wolf]

That's amazing!

[The philosopher]

The Rhyming makes it feel so light hearted, and I think that contributes to the contrast felt when the last stanzas tragically reveal that Flash cannot break the Order. Beautiful...

[The philosopher]

1642181 He loves her, alas
He'll never tap dat ass

[Bad_Seed_72]

1642184

Sure is!

1642224

Aww, thanks! You're awesome yourself!

1642414

I know, right?!

1643148

Gotta agree with you there. Absolutely touching.

1643154

[Fiend from the Darkness]

1642184
1642414
1643148
Thank you for the praise, its nice to know I'm good
I tried to do the story justice, unsure if I could
A few drafts came, and versions went, it took a little time
To try and keep the stories theme, without crossing a line
So I thank you all for what you think, I'm glad I can impress
I hate it when my less good work can make such a mess
As to that other poet, he has my respect,
He seems well liked, and fans elect
to feature his work select
I don't really like his work, though not for lack of skill
He satirizes a style, that I always use to chill
I will not rate that story, as it would be personal
And that would not be fair to him,
As ratings should be based on skill,
Not theme or readers whim
So I will say a last thank you
To all you ponies grande
This is Eclipse, The Black Sun
Giving YOU a clapping hand

-Eclipse

[Danger Noodle]

1702813

I'll always envy those who can write poetry. I have loads of trouble just reading it, much less trying to write it.

[Amethyst Sunset]

>>The philosopher

HAHA HAHAHA

"He loves her, alas
He'll never tap dat ass."

HAHAHAHA