My Final Post on Fimfiction · 8:53am Dec 22nd, 2013
So I guess I might as well just come out with it. I did mention many months ago why I stopped writing, looking back now its been over a year since I stopped. I guess its time for me to spill the beans so to speak. The reasons I stopped writing was because yes, I was working on a little radio project called "The Inventory at KPNY." Who knew that this radio drama project of mine would actually turn into a "thing." Well as I focused more and more into that project. I took time away from my fics here but I never stopped writing them, at least for a couple months after my last story entry. I kept working in private on google docs. Hoping I could still spend a little bit of time working on them in secret preparing for the right time to release them but there was a reason for that... and I'll mention it soon.
Lets rewind just a bit back to September 2012. During this time period me and my girlfriend of 2 years were going strong until she had been diagnosed with an incurable disease (Its not terminal but if she doesn't take care of herself it could be). I was still writing my fics here with great determination even though I knew I might not have a big audience, but she gave me the inspiration to keep doing them. Fast foward a few weeks. I had gathered with some of the local bronies of Coachella Valley and we all came to a consensus to create a podcast of sorts to help showcase bronies such as ourselves (But not actually us) and highlight their work to the community at large. But even then it was just a thought, I had no idea where it could go or where it could take us...
Fast Foward to October 2012. I had just returned from a grueling 6 week deployment working for Best Buy remodeling a store in Virginia just in time to spend Halloween with my girlfriend and then actually travel to our first Pony Convention which happened to be EQLA 2012. While there I ran into some of the biggest names in the Broadcasting part of the Brony Community, I ran into DustyKat and Final Draft from then Everfree Radio. I asked them both for advice for a young upstart like myself who wanted to try to make a radio show. They both gave me valuable advice that I have yet to forget to this day, but needless to say thats not where I'm going with this story. But it does have its part. Now motivated with the advice, and my girlfriend supporting the idea, I thought I had nothing to lose.
Fast Foward to the Holiday Season 2012. Production of Season 1 v1 of The Inventory at KPNY had begun, we had no idea what we were doing nor did we have the brightest clue where we would go with this show but it was a very very lax creation with alot of people enjoying themselves. But we all had one thing in common we wanted this to succeed. But as the weeks went on, myself and all my friends of KPNY had all noticed, that my Girlfriend's condition had been deteriorating very quickly, but she was still with us regardless... her determination gave me a drive that I had never had before... to make something great, not for me, not for my friends, but for her...
Move up to LPU 2013 (That Crashed and Burned). This was my girlfriend and my second convention together, but to make things more affordable so that we could go we decided to invite some of our friends along, specifically those who were working on KPNY with us since they had never been. Thing seemed ok. I had gotten the chance to rub elbows with my friend Final Draft again and followed up with him in person about the progress we had made. Things were looking good for KPNY overall and the possibility of working with Everfree Network was becoming more of a reality. But as with all good news... bad news does follow suit... During this convention I had gotten the news I had dreaded to hear... my girlfriends condition was getting worse and worse, primarily because she wasn't taking care of herself as she had slipped into a major depression knowing what she was diagnosed with and, to make matters worse it had gotten to the point that she was now no longer able to work as stated by the State of California (or so she told me). That I was now the sole person in the relationship now working to support both of us, in our adventures together. Her parents had now stepped in to help her out as well more than before, but ideally anything we wanted to do now was solely on me to be the provider... but even then despite the bad news... I chugged along knowing that I could be that pillar of strength and still resumed business as usual on all fronts, but pushing for more for everything I did, even work related.
After LPU. Things were progressing painfully slow on KPNY, but we were chugging along, everyone involved was still supporting the idea. But as time had went on I found myself devoting more and more time to this radio drama project, but I enjoyed it. Work had died down alot, and hours were slim pickings, and the promotion I was promised for work had been delayed twice because the person I was supposed to get the spot from was denied his transfer. So I spent my extra free time with my girlfriend, working on KPNY, playing more video games and taking expensive trips out to San Diego for her sake because well... I felt sorry for her more and more knowing she might not have the possibility to do those things in the future. But with things on all fronts coming to a near standstill as the weeks went on... tension began to rise... But I still stood strong... I began working harder on KPNY and I began writing again my fics preparing for a special surprise... not for me, or my fans... but for her...
Fast Foward to April 2013. KPNY had resumed its operations and things were going smoothly for the most part. Work was still light, and I had tried to transferring to other departments at work to get a better job but I kept getting beat out by someone who was more "favorable", but I didn't let that deter me. That's when my big break hit me. My girlfriend's father told me of his son's wife's company was hiring for IT positions. I knew I was qualified as it was all work I had done with Best Buy before, but I just didn't have the certs, and I was told I could get them "under the table" if given the job. But there was a catch, I had to move to Dallas, Texas. If I did, I would have to end KPNY, but I knew that there were bigger fish to fry in life and I knew what I had to do. I applied for the job, telling myself if I did get it, how would I break the news to my friends who all had worked very hard on this radio project? But I knew I had to do it if the time came...
May 2013. I was broken. The IT position I had applied for was given to someone else who beat me out with a college degree in god knows what field. My chance to get a better job for both myself and her was gone... I was stuck with crappy cards and I had to play them. I kept my job at Best Buy hoping for the best and that things would pay out... but things weren't enough. I finally broke the news to her that things didn't pan out and instead she blamed me for not having a desire to give up my friends, family and hobbies for her and didn't bother to hear the truth on why things didn't work... Regardless I spent many times on the phone trying over and over for something to pay out with the texas job or with best buy but nothing was budging... All I could do was hold the course and pray... I finished writing the next chapter of my fic in preparation of what I would do next in life regardless... for better or worse.
EQLA 2013. Again as all conventions go, they aren't cheap, but both my girlfriend and I both wanted to attend since we had a blast this past year at EQLA. But this time, I was a little more oriented with a goal in mind. KPNY was shaping up really well and my conversations with Everfree Radio, Now called Everfree Network were progressing very very well. We were up for candidacy for syndication on EFN and being properly affiliated. I made a call in secret unbeknownst to the rest of the cast and crew... Push KPNY to be a big show so that even if I couldn't help my girlfriend, the least I could do is once I attained some status by it, I could help bring awareness to the disease she had been suffering from. So I went to this con knowing this in secret, making my points to rub elbows once again with friends and "big shots" alike. Not for me, but again for my cast and crew, but most importantly for her. But for me to do this I had to sacrifice my time away from my friends and my girlfriend at the convention to do this. It sucked as I had paid alot of money to go to EQLA but I hoped what I was doing was worth it...
Post EQLA 2013. My girlfriend at this point had begun telling me that was I was becoming obsessed with KPNY and not focusing on getting a better job so that I could take care of both myself and her. But at the point where nothing else in life was working, I had nothing else to throw my efforts into, she didn't see what was really going on. She just made notions of me being a child and not wanting to grow up even though desperation was getting to me and I was trying vary hard to get something. Even with nothing working, I just threw more effort into KPNY with hopes our show would get something... She now had begun to detest the show about how it was taking all of my time, even though the past few months I began to delegate more work to the rest of my crew vs doing it by myself so I would have less workload and have more people working on it so it would be bigger and better... But at least I had hope for the future, not just for KPNY, but in general, because work had mentioned to me about something big changing it was just a matter of time... I was reinvigorated, I had to put my plans into action... for better or worse...
June 2013. I sat down with my girlfriend explaining to her that things were getting better at work, but that it was going to be a matter of time. But I didn't get to mention that my superior who had been trying to transfer out had just gotten his orders to transfer but it was going to be a few months, no later than the holiday season. I would effectively be promoted on the spot as he left. As this was also very hush hush, had to sign paperwork and everything, but I had planned that the moment I could mention it I would and that there would be a great point of celebrating for this... but I couldn't say why. But I mentioned to her that we should take a trip and do something we both enjoyed to do together. Conventions. Why not go to the biggest one of all? Bronycon 2013 at BCC. She agreed. I booked my flight and she was going to book hers later.
The next day. I literally got off work so excited knowing that things were going to progress very quickly. I had the next chapter of my fic done, and my travel arrangements done. I made some special calls out to a big landmark in Baltimore harbor to set something fancy up for both me and her. I knew that things were finally going to come together. After so long, things were going to be right after much struggling and we would finally have what we deserved. A stable life. I did what any man who had been in a relationship for nearly 3 years would do if things were going well, (granted things were in a down turn but things were going to change very quickly up) I went to the local jewelers and I bought a ring... things were ready.
The following night. My girlfriend had expressed in opinion in going to cons separately as we both had acquired separate tastes in new shows and we wanted to explore new things. Which is fine, it happens all the time. Plus her new found convention hopping plan to go to sci-fi cons and specific TV show's conventions, that I wasn't really a fan of, was a nice surprise, she was wanting to do things on her own again, I figured her depression was turning around. I said she should go do that, but as long as I could travel to a few pony cons by myself as I had made some great friends across the world going to them and I wanted to see them again. She said it was a great idea. I had some spare money for another ticket and with work picking up, I would be able to afford to go to Everfree Northwest as well this year! Score! Things seemed right in the world for once. That next day, we planned to go to San Diego to celebrate her upturn in her mood and fight against depression.
The Weekend. We had gone to San Diego to stay at her parents beach trailer as we had usually done, but this weekend was one we unfortunately did not expect... things had gone from bad to worse at the beach. From Poor weather, to annoying tourists, the water-main for the trailer breaking and then having to fix it, plans ruined due to unknown marathons in San Diego and much much more made the weekend unbearable. Which brought back her depression in droves. I tried to help alleviate the situation but due to my recent purchases of airfare and travel expenses for both conventions and that weekend had tapped me out in both my checking and savings accounts. But she suggested we go to disneyland to help turn things around. We did and I did a dumb thing... I put it on my credit card, but I didn't care, things were going to be ok, work was going to turn around. I would pay it off soon.
The next Week. Things had went at home and work as business as usual. We had even set up to do our next recording session with KPNY and things went swimmingly that day. But as soon as I dropped everyone back off home I returned to a very shocking turn of events. My girlfriend was waiting for me and wanted to settle big disputes. Things that had been bothering her that we had discussed occasionally in the past and steps were being taken to help rectify them or change those concerns, and I had mentioned this to her, but she told me and fought me saying that I had not done a thing. She was refusing to see the changes that were happening. I stood up for myself for the first time in the relationship knowing that for the first time I was right, as I had mistakes in the past but of once, this wasn't one of them. The argument lasted for hours both of us determining that we had to go our separate ways.... and we did. Her involvement with both myself and KPNY was over. All the planning I had done now for nothing. I gave up on KPNY and I fell off the grid.
Over the next couple days information had come to light that the argument was staged and designed to make it look like a mutual breakup. She had been planning on ditching me for someone else. I had felt extremely used and I was broken further than I needed to be and to make matters worse, friends were turning on me over half truths and missing information... I was stuck in a hard place... and then I got news I wasn't expecting... Final Draft had contacted me saying that KPNY as a show was now approved for Everfree Network. I sat down and thought about the offer... and I reminded myself why I got into KPNY originally, I remembered what my cast and crew had done and if I didn't except this their hard work would be in vain. I accepted and pushed forward. I pushed away my old dreams for new ones... especially with my future career change on its way. I made calls canceling my secret plans for baltimore that would have involved my now ex-girlfriend. I deleted the chapter of the fic I was writing and cancelled the story.
My final act with my plans that never came to be... at bronycon after the convention was over. I walked down to Baltimore Inner Harbor and I carrried the ring that was going to use to propose to her to the landmark, the USS Constellation, where I had planned to pop the question. I looked hard at the ship where there was to be a huge celebration, and I looked out into the harbor in the dead of night. I grabbed the ring and I tossed it into the harbor. Saddened and disappointed at the past I began to cry... but I picked myself back up still hurt... but optimistic about the future... but I wanted no tie to the past or anything that involved her. So I refocused KPNY to shift out her involvement and I keep strong for my friends who do this show with me because they deserve it, even if my ex had/has ties to KPNY still in a loose way, but last time I talked to her, she said she wanted nothing to be apart of it... so I guess that's what freed my moral conscious to not kill it off. Now months later from those events. KPNY goes strong with a few hiccups now and then as any production does, and now I'm working with Everfree Network doing any jobs I can pick up, I'm expecting to hear good news from my paid job at best buy this new year, the bonds I have with my friends who stayed with me during that time got stronger and those friends that I made after made it worth the suffering.
But I'm sure your curiosity is peaked about that deleted chapter. In that chapter the two characters I had been writing about were to be married and since my now ex-girlfriend was a fan of my works (whether truthful or not) I was going to show her this at bronycon as to be the first symbolic foreshadowing that I was going to propose. But as life teaches us... things don't always go as we want them to. And as one door closes many others open. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. This is the last time you'll hear of me on FimFiction. If you ever decide to look me up. I'm on twitter as @KiniroEFN or @KiniroKPNY (depending on how twitter has me cached right now) but I'll be there and I'll be happy to chat.
-Kiniro
god speed brother from another mother
we will hang soon right?
hopefully, if the winds blow that way :)
1635561
Thats life though, its as predicable as the santa ana's.