Hey, hey, everybody - I've got something to say!

As you might've noticed, this blog post is indeed my Equestria Girls review (the full one - the one I had before was just my review of the preview) and wow. Just wow. I was really impressed. This was supposed to be either a really bad film that was supposed to scar us all for life or something we could all laugh about in a few months, but nooooo, Hasbro made a really good film! Like seriously good! I shit you not, even my forty-six year old father - who thinks me obsessing over technicolor ponies is weird (and he doesn't think Fluttershy is adorable... yes, you all have permission to come beat him up) - liked it.

There were actually very few downsides to this film, but pretty much everything was totally frikkin' awesome. I especially loved Vinyl Scratch appearing as a backgrounder in every other scene (boom. told y'all she's best pony.), the Twilight x Flash pairing, how freakin' cute the Crusaders are as humans and the Spike moments. (He was a talking dog, man. You gotta love that.) Oh, and obviously Trixie just being there and always buying her peanut butter crackers. I just can't....

But all in all, the plot was great. Seriously. The whole reason Sunset Shimmer stole the crown, that was pretty believable, I can see that happening, doesn't sound stupid at all. (And I kinda figured this would tie in with canon.) The fact that Twilight couldn't go with her buddies upset me, but, hey, two Pinkie Pies? THE WORLD WOULD EXPLODE!!! ...*ahem* Celestia did have a very valid point then. So, ok, I can see that, and Spike as a dog? I can love and tolerate that now. He turned out to be an awesome dog. And the way the writers portrayed it all was nice - good pacing and all. (Never will I doubt them again.) And the fact that they didn't shove the Flashlight pairing (teehee - even their ship name is super cute) in our faces was good, I was actually praying that they wouldn't kiss and thank Luna they didn't or I would have thrown my laptop out the window. However, the cute 'lil flirting was heartwarming. (Seriously, even if Flash isn't gonna be a Season Four character, I still need more of this ship though - it's so adorable, dammit!) The ending was great too, but it was kinda odd nobody questioned the whole Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight suddenly having wings at the dance. Just... you know, Vinyl probably spiked the punch >_> Crazy DJ. (Also, even though I did say I was gonna kill someone if she wore a skirt, her leggings were epic. Just saying. My fashionista sense had to put that in.)

However, the film did have a few turnoffs for me...

First off, why in the name of Celestia did they keep the original names? No normal human has colored skin - ok, I can deal with that - but who the hell names their kid Rainbow Dash? (You know, unless they're like hippies or something...) I really was looking forward to cool/cute humanized names, like, I dunno, Faith Summers/Fluttershy, Penny Pritchet/Pinkie Pie, etc. I mean, c'mon, Twilight isn't stupid, even if the names were different, she would still be like, "Hey - doesn't that chick look like Rarity?" or whatever. Seriously.

Also! What in the wide, wide world of Equestria happened to Celestia and Luna?! I mean, I just can't...

Pony Luna? Kind of sexy cute.
Human Luna? Would not bang.

And the fact Octavia didn't show. Me no likey. That's just messed up, bros. By the way, I actually did a little dance when I noticed Lyra never showed up. I'm serious. I'm one of the few who are against the whole "LYRA IS OBSESSED WITH HUMANS" thing. Get over it, guys. It was a cute and funny quirk to put in her personality at the beginning, but I noticed it just all spiraled out of control. (Mainly when someone at Hot Topic recommended me to try on the "I Believe" Lyra shirt - I almost lost it. Don't ask.)

ALSO IS HUMAN RARITY FREAKIN' COLOR BLIND?!

Seriously, when I saw her pull Twilight into that classroom... At first I was like, "Awww yeah, sexy Twarity times." but then I was like, "Wait - no, kids' film. Right." and then when Rares forced Twi into the horribly icky outfit, I was like, "RARITY Y U NO MAKE TWILIGHT GOTH GIRL?"

Blonde? Green?

I just can't. I'm sorry. The outfits in the movie weren't that great at all (seriously, no one wears boots that big without falling flat on their face and not every girl in existence owns half a bazillion skirts) but COME ON. That had to have been the most horrible disguise in the history of disguises. And we all thought Rarity was supposed to be the fashionable one. Tsk, tsk.

Also, is it wrong I found Rainbow Dash irresistibly fabulous throughout the entire movie? I know, I know, RD and fabulousness should never be put together in the same sentence, but I'm serious! She was really pretty, which is kinda ironic, y'know, seeing how she is a tomboy tomcolt has a sporty, rough, athletic personality. (And dammit all, but is it weird that the first thing I thought when I saw Human Sweetie Belle is, "Well - at least it's not weird to have a crush on her now!"?)

So yeah.

Um... I tried to keep my complaining ratioed well to my awesome words about the film, and if I didn't, oh, well - take it up with the complaining department. *points to trash can*

But I'm seriously not lying when I say that this movie was literally totally freakin' awesome and that it's not only changed my views on the writers and their decisions but also that it's launched my pony obsession to a new level. (LIKE I REALLY NEEDED THAT!) Gonna start stalking my library for the DVD and searching the mall and other places for EqG dollies. *grabby hands*

(Also - expect to see my Season Four prediction blog post up soon!!! )

Comments

[Silvernis]

Having a crush on Sweetie Belle is never wrong.

[Josephdalepony]

can i just say that i own a pair of larger boots and have never had trouble walking, even in a skirt?

[Kitsuneisuki]

You lie. Why you lie?

[Preto Mal]

no one wears boots that big without falling flat on their face

Oh thank god.
I was legitimately worried for a while that I was the only person on the entire internet to notice that EVERY SINGLE FEMALE CHARACTER had either knee high boots, or knee high socks.
Ask Acreu/Bandy, It bothered me basically the entire movie.

[psp7master]

Also, is it wrong I found Rainbow Dash irresistibly fabulous throughout the entire movie?

Rainbow Dash always dresses in style.

Glad to see you back, by the way!