Entry 4: Least Favorite Ponies · 2:09am Jun 14th, 2013
And this is the entry where I risk vilifying myself in this fandom.
Many bronies have a favorite pony to call their own. Quite a few less have any ‘least favorite’ ponies.
I have two.
Bon-Bon, and Prince Blueblood.
Now, while I note quite a few others with similar distaste for Blueblood, there are quite a few out there who view him with some amount of sympathy. I believe that their argument for Blueblood’s character goes something like this:
‘But Rarity was being shallow! Blueblood’s not a jerk just because he trolled her when she pursued an ideal instead of him!’
For those who continue to pursue the ridiculous argument that Blueblood is actually not that bad a pony – arguments that repeatedly rely on Rarity to prove the point instead of Blueblood himself – I offer this proof.
Blueblood has – literally – more resources than Batman.
Both are good looking, and well built.
Blueblood still has living relatives.
Batman has Alfred. – Blueblood has Celestia.
Batman has a utility belt that can do anything. – Blueblood has magic that can do more.
Batman’s extremely wealthy in Gotham. – Blueblood’s extremely wealthy in an economy that uses priceless gemstones to gild dresses.
Batman had access to the world’s finest martial artists. – Blueblood has access to the world’s finest everything, including a library where a unicorn can learn to travel through time, all the knowledge of the Spirit of the Sun, and if Rainbow Dash is any indication, Equestria has martial artists too.
Batman has trophies of his victories in his cave. – Blueblood has the God of Chaos as a lawn ornament.
Honestly, this is like one of those arguments over Iron-man and Batman, where the arguer points out a list of aspects where Iron-man is better, and even though they’re absolutely right Batman is still better!
Only instead of Iron-man, we get Prince. Frothing. Hate. Jerk. Blueblood.
Where was Blueblood during Equestria’s crises? Where was Blueblood when literally anything was happening? I realize Batman is a tough standard to hold anyone to, but if Blueblood were anything like a good pony he would have used his assets (his incredible assets) to do something. Anything!
Some people would argue that Blueblood was being like Batman – or at least James Bond. That he was working in secret to save Equestria during all of these challenges, fighting evil cults or some such rubbish.
Well even if that were true, he’s doing a lousy job of it. Twilight and her friends solved literally every problem Equestria’s had for… two, three years? Imagine, if you will, the kind of havoc Pinkie Pie alone would wreak on any secret cult she’s put up against, but combined with Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy? If Blueblood actually was doing secret hero work, then why wouldn’t Celestia report the dangers to her student and watch the fireworks?
So, either Prince Blueblood is a callous entitled jerkface pony… or he’s an incompetent secret agent who is ruining Princess Celestia’s empire because the myriad secret organizations plotting her downfall that Equestria are apparently teeming with are giving him the runaround… or it’s a combination of the two and Celestia lets him think he’s a secret agent to keep his arrogance down to a subtler level and keep him out of her mane…
Or he’s secretly a changeling!
Dun dun DUUUHHHNN!!!
There’s a reason why Blueblood’s cutie mark is a single, ornate looking star, in the midst of blank white nothingness. If Blueblood were a good pony, if he were an o.k. dude by any stretch of the imagination, he would have better things to do than troll Rarity. I don’t care how unwanted an admirer is, if any of my friends treated a lady that way ‘just to teach her a lesson’ they would very soon cease to be my friends.
As for Bon-Bon…
A lot of the people here like Bon-Bon. I just… I just don’t.
I mean, why is she even a thing?
When you look at a list of the top six background ponies people love, you’ll see Doctor Whooves, Derpy, Octavia, Vynil Scratch, Lyra Heartstrings, and… Bon-bon.
I guess I just haven’t read any good fanfiction about her.
I mean, I wasn’t a fan of Octavia or Lyra either until I read the appropriate stories. More on them later.
But Bon-bon… never. She only ever seems to enter a story as the straight-mare to Lyra’s eccentric. And what’s with that?
Must every Sherlock have a Watson? Just once, I’d like to see and eccentric, whose sidekick is an eccentric of a different sort. And even despite my feelings about that particular dynamic, at least Sherlock and Watson have an interesting dynamic. Much like Abbott and Costello. The purpose of the eccentric/mundane pairing is to employ opportunities for witty banter.
Bon-bon is not like that. I’ve never read a fanfic where she gets any witty banter. Instead, she’s like the Tonto to Lyra’s Lone Ranger. In the original series that is, not the new version where Johnny Depp is Tonto. Now that is how you give an eccentric another eccentric as a sidekick.
Or else she’s Lyra’s lover, and the pair of them together must combat against the turmoil and pressure and sometimes hatred that their fellow ponies have against lesbians.
Either way, Bon-bon is… uninteresting, at best. She’s like someone who would exist in the real world, instead of a fictional character. If anybody can point me in the way of a fic that gives Bon-bon any defining character, that’d be swell. I consider myself an intelligent person, capable of seeing multiple sides in any issue. But Bon-Bon is one of those cases where my brain just flies out the window and says; “I’m sorry, why would you even bother looking at this particular issue? I don’t understand it, and even if I did, it wouldn’t matter, so why bother trying?” I hate my brain when it acts like this, but really, I can’t refute that logic.
Anyway, as to shipping Blueblood:
Rarity: Okay, no. This has been officially debunked. Anyone who wants to ship this, you’re too late, canon has officially spat in your faces.
Trixie: Pairing two villains, both of whom have egos the size of planets. Yeah, there’s no way that could go wrong.
Twilight: I believe the logic behind this pairing is as follows; Twilight’s lived in the palace her whole life, so she must know Blueblood. She didn’t warn Rarity about Blueblood, so she must have thought Blueblood is okay. Therefore, Blueblood must be a misunderstood stallion, and only Twilight his childhood friend, can bring out his soft, sensitive, loving side. To this, I can only say; Lauren Faust must have bought herself a coffin, specifically so she could roll in it ahead of schedule.
AND MY OTP?
Blueblood. Or would that be, BluebloodxBlueblood. Or perhaps, BlueBlue? BloodBlood? Yes, I ship BloodBlood. Well, really, who else would you ship Blueblood with besides himself?
As for Bon-Bon shipping:
Lyra: Sure. I don’t see why not. They’re practically a canon couple anyway in fanfiction.
Big Mac: Sure, I don’t see why not.
Twilight: Sure, I don’t see why not.
Rainbow Dash: Nope. Nopity nopity nope. Rainbow Dash is way too awesome for Bon-Bon.
Applejack: Sure, I don’t see why not.
Rarity: Sure, I don’t see why not.
Pinkie Pie: Sure, I don’t see why not.
Fluttershy: I can’t even see this. It’s like my mind is purposefully blanking out any images of the two of them going on a date. No, wait, I’ve come up with an image! Bon-Bon enthusiastically pursuing Fluttershy with as much candy as she can carry, while Fluttershy runs as fast as she can!
AND MY OTP?
Celestia: I think they must bond over their love of cake and lack of screentime.
Anyway, I don't have any favorite fics for Bon-Bon. My favorite fics for Blueblood are: The Best Night Ever which holds the distinction of giving Rarity a reason behind her flirtations, and My Little Avengers which makes Blueblood into Iron-Man (Batman is still better). Both of them are great, because they don't try to hide the fact that Blueblood is a jerk. They simply have him change, over the course of the story, and even at the end they still have trouble with their manners despite their dramatic changes.
Try "Mendacity"
Lyra is barely in it. It's all about BonBon. It's interesting.
this sounds like a oneshot waiting to happen...Writers, start you keyboards!
Personally, i can't stand Twist and Diamond Tiara.
1143283 Yea, Mendacity is great. Also it sorta fits with your view of her since she is actively trying to boring. She fails at that of course.
1143283 1144701
Thanks guys.
1143703
Personally, I hope at least one of my journal logs will inspire at least one person to write a story.
Re: Blueblood as a character, try The Colour You Bleed. It's a Blueblood redemption fic that starts from exactly where you're coming from and hammers him into someone who can actually be respected.
Re: Blueblood shipping, I read a BluebloodxPinkie fic once that worked, but it was premised on an AU with Nightmare!Celestia and Element of Magic Trixie, so it doesn't really count.