An Apology, and a Note on My Name · 8:42am May 18th, 2013
First, I want to apologize.
I'm sorry.
Today is just a few days shy of 22 May, and as you probably wouldn't have noticed without this little pointer, that means it's been almost five months since I last updated the one story I've yet got round to publishing, also known as "The only reason you're reading this."
Nearly half a year. Something like that was never supposed to happen.
I get irritable and distracted every time a 22 whizzes by at its usual amazing speed, but mostly I just feel disappointed. I expect more of myself and this delay is unacceptable. Oh, it had its reasons—the last few months have dragged me through a tangled muck of conflicting priorities and unpredictable personal interactions—and this isn't the worst delay I'm guilty of (check out my FanFiction account if you want to see something outrageous), but ultimately no excuse is adequate. I like writing, and I wanted to write, and I didn't. End of story.
I've hardly even read in the last few months.
While it frustrates me that I've failed to live up to my own standards and capabilities, I suspect you care more about my sexy story than my personal problems—at least I hope you do, or I'd better start writing some better stories—so I hope you won't mind if I get down to what we're all here for and put that long episode behind us. I haven't forgotten this project. Nothing is abandoned. I'm writing again.
At the risk of massively screwing myself I'm going to hazard a guess and say you should see Chapter 4 within the first couple weeks of June and Chapter 5 before July, if things keep running smoothly and June doesn't turn into March (and try to kill me). I've been having mixed results so far: Chapter 4 wasn't going well to begin with all those months ago, and what I formerly referred to as the "final stages" I am now calling an "experimental concept draft". The good news is that the new manuscript is a lot more satisfying. Chapter 5 is progressing more smoothly, feeling a lot like Chapter 3 was at this stage. Chapter 6 is further up the pipeline.
Lastly, I'd like to give a big, sincere thanks to everyone for every view, comment, review, thumbs up, recommendation, follow, favorite, and referral that has generously been furnished upon me. You have no idea how happy it makes me that anyone enjoys my writing even a little; it's the most I could ever ask for. I'm ashamed of even anonymously admitting how often I refresh my pages to see what kind of attention I'm getting. I swear, reviews are a better fix than drugs. I'm especially happy (if a little perplexed) about all the places people seem to get referred to my story from. Let me know how you got linked if you're in that crowd.
In part I'm writing this because I think that being the distant, brooding, alienated author is bad for my motivation, and I think engaging might help me keep focus. So in the next little bit while I work Chapter 4 into a readable string of sentences, I'm going to do some comment replying and reading for pleasure as well. Try to expand my profile around here. I hope our paths cross while I do.
Second, a note on my name. When I signed up I was denied the username Arbutus for some reason, so I chose something else. I assumed it was already in use, but apparently that wasn't the case.
FimFiction was bugging me to update my password but whenever I tried I was barred from saving it because my second-choice username, F. Arbutus, had at least one unusable character. That notification kept turning up and I kept ignoring it until today, when I snapped and made a Hail Mary conversion back to the name I wanted from the start. Lo and behold, it worked.
So I'm Arbutus now. Again. Nice to meet you.
It isn't much of a change for me since I've been writing as Arbutus for ages, but you all know me with the initial (I won't get into why I used an F) so it's kind of like we're meeting for the first time. Who knows if FimFiction will let me keep it—I'm not sure I didn't steal the name from someone through some system error—but for now I'm going to think of it as a good omen. Maybe I can leave my troubles behind with my old, ad hoc identity.
Knocking on wood,
Arbutus
Glad to see your still alive.
Don't worry about the hiatus, you should see my FF account and what I told someone there. (I've even forgotten... 10 months ago now?)
I call it Valve time for a reason.
EDIT: Wow do I feel like a creeper posting this not even 5 mins from the initial post.
And If you really are looking to make changes to your page then PLEASE change your avatar. It's freaking the shit out of me...
Glad to see that you are still alive, chum. Looking forward to what you have in store.
1088906
No worries, more than anything else it's flattering to get a response so fast. Shows at least I can still command a bit of (unearned) attention and that a few people are still on board (though most, I expect, will just wait for the update). Anyways, thank you for your patience. Also, I'm going to be shamelessly stealing Valve Time starting now. Aside from being awesome it's too accurate to pass up.
And by the way, you're asking me to rethink my avatar when I just got my name back? I'm keeping it. I hope it will always be the first thing you think of when my writing comes to mind
. And more importantly, I hope that's the last time I ever feel compelled to use an emoticon.
1089710
Thanks. Hopefully not for too much longer. Or not... you know what I mean. Thanks.
And while we're on the subject of creepy avatars...
I got linked here from this [NSFW] picture on derpibooru. I'm glad I tried, because RCaE is some of the best alternative/extended characterisation I've ever read.
I was also lead here from the same place as Toiski, though I've heard of this story once a long time back. Don't quite remember where, but I do remember putting it in my "to read" list and never getting around to it. I regret this decision, and am now going to start hunting for your OTHER works. Mainly because you've heavily impressed me as a writer, and have subsequently been added to my list of "writers I kinda sorta aspire to have the same kind of ability someday." I mean just... WOW. Your imagery is incredibly impressive, and if I picked apart your works I could point out more things despite that being what stood out the most. But yeah, I do kind of want to see your works coming to life again. It's rare when I can say this with the same kind of sincerity I see in other people, but your writing drew me in and didn't let go until after it was done. I kind of don't want to read it again, because it was JUST THAT AWESOME. I'm going to though of course, I'd be crazy not to.
Anyway, good luck in the future, I hope to see you putting your skills to work again sometime in the future, and... Well, with more sincerity than I usually say this: Enjoy the Chaos!!