Mar
10th
2012
Chapter one just got around 19.33% (repeated of course) less warm · 11:47am Mar 10th, 2012
In an effort to be slightly less of a hack I have revised chapter one, nothing significant or story changing but it is now less of an affront to the senses. Also the new chapter is coming, just as soon as my prereader wakes up and gives me the go ahead. To everyone who, after reading chapter one, kept reading afterwards, thank you so much for your patience with me.
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Steel Resolve · 209 views
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I don't always like a story, but when I do I finish it no matter what the author does to it. Steely do whatever you want to it and I'll probably continue reading it.
I'd give you the go ahead, but it looks like you went ahead. No loss though, it was pretty good by the time I drug myself from my bed to shower, grab breakfast, and check emails. Would've done it last night, but I was out like a light after riding twelve miles on my bike.
28754 yeah, sorry sith, I worked on editing all night waiting, and figured may as well just go live.
28759 Not a problem. I've done it myself in the past..........Is Head-bobbing Twilight incredibly distracting to anyone else?
28805 sorry what? I was watching a pony bob
28805
28812
Huh?
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/068/7/3/twi_bop_by_blackgryph0n-d4s9y6l.gif
Also, dude, sorry to say but you might need to do a bit more of a rewrite. The problem is it's strange the way the book references both alicorns when Luna was still trapped in the moon and had been for... 978? years when it was written.
28954 you're missing the obvious, celestia was willing to talk about her sister. She had been imprisoned due to being under the influence of nightmare moon. but not about her friends, who's only crime had been they were discorded and chose to become living sacrifices to make themselves weapons.
29226
I'm not talking about the "Celestia not only revealed that she had a sister but that she and her sister are the ones described in the legend of The Mare In the Moon." or the "Celestia allowed this information to be published in a book.", I'm talking about the "Celestia revealed that Luna would soon return and be no longer evil."
""Unless you happen to be friends with one or both of the known Alicorns in the world you will likely want to go over this checklist to see how far along you are. If you are in fact a friend or protege of one or more of them, by all means seek information directly from the source.""
29305 lol we're assuming the feeling of the book was Celestia, talking about her sister, would assume that her sister would never be free. so OK, we're breaking time a bit here. we're going with Celestia had a flash of prescience and foresaw the events of nightmare moon being released, and that she foresaw a possible future protege when she had this study commissioned. see I can't really change the timeline that much because I'd established in later chapters this book was written around 2 decades prior. I have already lampshaded the feeling of spike and twilight that the book seemed oddly specific to her.
29345
True true. It's just something I mentioned due to it being the only contradiction I ever found in the story.
It would be funny to play on ""unless you have decided to overthrow them, in which case I hereby welcome you, our new overlord"" by changing the paragraph a bit to make it seem like Cann was pandering to either a protege of Celestia or a disciple of Nightmare Moon.