About longer stories, and impromptu reviews of a few of them · 4:15am Feb 12th, 2013
Sink, sink
Drowned by her country
Old, and she is cursed
And forgotten
Never to surface again
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It's been a little while since a posted any sort of update here, so I figured now, after just finishing The Immortal Game, would be a good a time as any. First off: update on stories... not much to say, really. I haven't gotten much written on the next chapter of Apples, as I've been running a CYOA (Choose Your Own Adventure) for about a week now. I ended up doing it before the next chapter of Apples for a couple reasons:
1) I thought my story idea was really cool and the CYOA wouldn't take very long. (Heh heh... not entire true, it turns out. I spend at least 2.5 hours writing it each session and I think I'm around 16,000 words into it.)
2) I needed a way to force myself to write. The last scene of Apples chap 4 was pretty terrible as far as I'm concerned. Usually I'm quite comfortable writing dialogue, but that exchange... yuk.
The CYOA will end soon enough and I'll have time for Apples once again. From my guess, it will be either two shorter chapters or one longer chapter, than the last chapter (which is already written). I'll admit, I'm sorta happy to see the comments. It seems like readers are thinking what I want them to think at this stage, and that's really (I think) what I typically have the most trouble with. It's also what will maximize the experience—assuming I've calculated correctly. Jexxacrez(one of my editors) and I have slightly different ideas on how I should release the last few chapters. I guess we'll have to see who is ultimately right about it.
Don't forget—that [Sad] tag isn't there for shits and giggles. I love putting my characters through hell.
scrunchy scrunch
I've been very interested in adventure\mental journey stories ever since I read my first fanfic, It's A Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Front Door. In all fairness, it's a tall order to be compared to that fic, as it's one of the most highly-recommended ones in the fandom. There are a few that stand out in my mind, both for good and bad reasons.
Apotheosis
Quantum Castaways
Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog
The Games We Play
The Immortal Game (seeing as I just finished it)
I've decided, after reading all of these adventure fics (Games We Play being more of a character adventure than anything), that THE most difficult thing about writing a long, coherent adventure story is keeping it interesting while maintaining mini-climaxes. If you've invested a fair amount of time into learning how to construct a story, you've probably seen this chart more than once:
It's pretty important. It shows the typical "baseline-rising action-climax-falling action-resolution" flow graph isn't as simple as it sounds. When your story gets to be long, you can't hold the reader's interest with just one big climax at the end. Stuff—significant stuff—has to happen along the way. And one of the things that makes it difficult to pull off is that the mini-climaxes have to have impact on the rest of the story, which means you can't just use them as temporary plot devices, or the reader ends up feeling robbed.
It is at this point I'll mention The Games We Play. This story built interest very well and, I think, had a satisfying conclusion. It's everything in between that's boring as all hell. When I was halfway through this story, I think, I found myself fighting to continue. I really wanted to see the resolution, but it had just become so obvious how things were going to end and nopony was really developing significantly. Boring. Looking at the rest of AbsoluteAnonymous' work, you can tell writing longer stories is out of his comfort zone—which I think he deserves credit for. It's easy to write only stuff you know you're good with, but he took a stab at something bigger, and it worked out well enough.
The next item I'd like to mention is how flow and pacing interact in a long adventure fic. Flow is how scene A interacts with B and C and every scene afterward. The fact that a mini-climax is significant later on is a result of good flow. It makes progressing in the story rewarding for the reader. In my opinion, The Immortal Game is a story that nails flow... and flops on its face with pacing in the first half. Oddly enough, the story does a switcheroo and gets back on its feet in terms of pacing but kills flow later on. [SPOILERS TO COME FOR TIG]
The first part with Nix is pretty interesting. Granted, I didn't really care for how I was forced to read about Applejack and Fluttershy (to be perfectly honest, I never liked Fluttershy's arc except for a couple points) when the story was all about Luna, Rainbow, Rarity and Twilight. I respect that they had a place, though. The mane six are the mane six because their lives are so closely intertwined. The flow for that part was beautiful, though. I really hated Nihlus and didn't care what came afterward, I just wanted to see her go down and the adventure to that point was interesting, not just in sequence of events but how AestheticB handled the characters. After that arc ended... the story picked up perfectly! I mean, I was seriously excited to keep chugging through the story! I thought I had finally found a story that could work those mini-climaxes in wonderfully! Nihlus was significant until the very end of the entire fic—and it felt right.
However, once the story gets past the ambush in the labyrinth, things kinda peter out. There is an interesting conversation between Esteem and Rarity, but the power in the story hits a point of withering. Titan and Esteem, who seemed so powerful and impossible to even touch, became less interesting. Sure, they're still really strong, but I just don't care as much. They've been constantly waving their power about, and that's all anyone seems to mention them for. I'm not saying Esteem was a flat character, he just didn't go much of anywhere. Also, every encounter with Terra or Titan or Esteem was just supposed to be so significant that, by the time we've run into them three or four times, I just can't muster the energy to care about it any more. I want to emphasize that last sentence, since it's the core of what I feel is the flaw of TIG: because every encounter with the major villains is supposed to monumentally important, by the time we've encountered them a few times, the scenes lose their punch. I could seriously go on and on about the specifics of why I think this happens, and what could've been done to avoid it, or why it's as bad as I think it is, but I've got other points to make. Also: I thought TIG was pretty good. It's worth a read. Just don't expect another Dangerous Business.
Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog sits awkwardly in the middle—which, I think, ultimately works to its favor. The plot movements never seem as powerful or as significant as some of the early ones in TIG or the ending of TGWP, but it's a pretty consistent story. The characters (with the exceptions of Daring Do, to some extent) are constantly moving forward and growing. Echo is a pretty interesting chap, one I'm happy to spend walking through the story with. The pacing is a little weird, to say the least. It's moving forward much like TGWP did with the Nihlus arc, but when Echo enters the town (the name of it escapes me), things slow down massively. It's pretty abrupt, and not what I would have preferred. The story still holds its own, though. The new characters are interesting and the stuff going on in the swamp kept me reading. I'm not a big fan of the climax, as a lot of stuff (namely, changelings) just came out of nowhere. It was a touch hard to follow, but the resolution worked pretty well. I've read up on the sequel, too.
Apotheosis I feel is worth mentioning for one fact: the growth of the author. If you read its predecessor, Off the Edge of the Map, you will notice a pretty big leap in quality. Both stories have similar weaknesses, but nothing I haven't already mentioned. I just think that these two, when looked at together, show a pretty cool story of improvement from the author. Also... if you want to know how crazy one can get with world-building... sheesh. Daetrin has no shame completely reconstructing every nook and cranny.
Quantum Castaways is near flawless as far as I'm concerned. The author does get a little repetitive with the interactions between the protagonist and Twilight, but it's an enjoyable sort of repetition, so I don't mind too much. I love almost every little bit of it, but it's incomplete unlike the rest of these fics, so it still has yet to prove itself. Here's hoping it does and becomes my next Dangerous Business.
And THAT is a lot of words. I think it's pretty important to deconstruct and analyze these behemoths of stories, as I want to one day tackle a longer story myself. Apples does happen to be the longest thing I've ever written, but not so long it's requiring mini-climaxes.
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Also... completely irrelevant, but I thought it was silly... after seeing Unimpressive introduced, I quickly realized who it was, then realized I used to lurk the very threads Vimbert reviewed TIG (then, Ponies Make War) in! Just an interesting coincidence. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, you've probably narrowed down my other identity quite a bit...
I'm both worried and excited. Will be keeping an eye on my inbox. Unfortunately currently lack the time to peruse the more discussion-focused part of this, will come back to it later.
Very informative. Have you read Flight of the Alicorn by Ponydora Prancypants? If so please give us your thoughts.
Hmm, very well put. Here's myh review of The Immortal Game: http://www.fobequestria.com/2013/02/fan-fiction-review-034-immortal-game.html
That being said, I still have no idea who you really are. I'm curious, but it's not really that important. You is who you is.
wow! XD
those stories are very long! XD
and you did a very good explanations of your tought about them!
you made me want to read the Immoral games XD lol
and of course I will up to the next chapters of apples
is an amazing work of you! be proud!