The Ignition, Bonbon, and Money Edition. · 1:59am Dec 27th, 2012
Op 2 Movt 1 is finished. Finally.
This was done yesterday, but I wanted to finish running it through my primary prereader (Direpony) before passing it to you, so instead of a Christmas present you can think of it as a Boxing Day present. We'll go with that.
As I mentioned in my previous post the whole EQD thing... well. I haven't gotten around to making the primary corrections suggested by the EQD prereader, and I don't know if I really will. Some are easy and some aren't. Meh. I'll get around to it when I get around to it. Also, sorry about that grammar-rant.
Anyways, this movement takes place in the morning and, as the title (Acceso) should suggest, things ignite.
Literally. Haha.
But really. Things are... typically slow, and my use of this word applies to both (my interpretations of) the characters as well as my writing. Things just don't happen. Do any of you have strong feelings one way or the other about my story pacing? And on a related note, how slow/fast do you think Twitavia should be moving and how does their relationship progress? I'd enjoy some input.
Also, this chapter contained (more?) Lyra/Bonbon silliness. Because. But on the subject of these two ponies I also want to address something that has always bugged me about them, and that's Bonbon (or more officially, Sweetie Drops). Do you remember what I said about Octy in the past - about how she's more or less a blank slate? Well Bonbon's the same, but I think she's treated worse, if you were to ask me (I realize you didn't ask me, but you're reading this. If you don't care about my opinions, feel free to stop reading). Bonbon's problem is that she's never given a personality or any real characterization. Sure, she's usually snarky and realistic, but she only exists as a foil to Lyra's shenanigans; she never gets a back story, goal, or any real depth. I'm guilty of it myself, in this very chapter.
Sorry. It's just been bugging me and I've been toying with the idea for a Bonbon x somepony else. Probably Lemon Hearts, because I think that would be cute. But even then, the way it plays out in my head, Lemon Hearts still gets all the character depth and Bonbon is once more the foil.
Honestly, I blame the artists. Bland colored ponies get bland personalities.
And lastly, to summarize a short exchange my prereader and I had about the nature of Equestrian money and, more specifically division/denomination of bits:
The official unit of currency in Equestria is the bit. It can be split in parts as small as... one bit. So how/why, I hear you ask, does the check in this chapter come out to seventeen and a half bits? Well, practically speaking, it comes out to eighteen bits for the customers, but more importantly, it guarantees some tiny fraction of gratuity to the waitstaff, in addition to whatever actual tip the customers want to give. Sure, that waiter/waitress can't really take half a bit, but after serving two tables... there you go. Assuming tips are recorded (or perhaps pooled, as much as i dislike the practice), it becomes easy for the restaurant to keep track of the fractions and pay the waitstaff out appropriately. Furthermore, seventeen and a half bits is a great number for a bill because it makes the bill plus suggested gratuity (in the US, at least) more or less 20 bits even. Nice round numbers are nice and round.
Anyways, please enjoy Opus 2, Movement 1 of Private Gig.
Very respectfully,
NP
Authors do their best and are now preparing. Please wait warmly until it is ready.
I'm sorry for using a blog discussing a different story, but... when are you going to get back to TMiaHM?
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The question is better than the answer, I suppose. In short... soon? Maybe? It's hard. I almost went back to it last week and... well, this was two thirds done at the time. One of the primary reasons I started PG was because I was feeling drained from trying to write tMiaHM and I needed a break - I wanted to do something... sweet, I suppose. Get back to my shipping roots, too.
Well, it's been a while, and for the first time in... a while I'm thinking about going back to Moon rather than looking at it as a chore, so we're getting there. I'm not really in the mood to write Op2Movt2, come to think of it...
Whatever the case, it'll probably be a crazy-long time before a chapter actually gets updated on that, because even when I sit down and start, it still has to get written. But dang, those chapters were long.
Sorry for being so wishy-washy about that.
I'd say the pacing is fine. The story is about characters and relationships, not action, so things can -- indeed should -- move deliberately rather than quickly.
Also, I have to say again that I quite like how you've deployed Octavia here. It's decidedly and enjoyable different.
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It's okay. Of your stories, I've only read the one I'm referring to, but I love it and really want you to write more. But not at your expense.
652362 I was going to ask that same question, but knowing the reason why you took a break is why I avoided it for so long.
Your Moon is a Harsh Mistress is such a great tale, but it's already clear that it's going to be one of those long epics, on way or the other, with how things were presented. For the longest time it felt like I was still in the introductory stage of seeing new characters and wanting to know where they fit in and how they'll all get along as Luna's new night staff.
I can't see how, but with how it's been written all I can think of is how much this writer must love writing the ponies in this universe since he's given so much to detail lol
You shouldn't feel rushed in any case. I wouldn't want to read something made just because a bunch of people kept nagging for a new chapter when your heart wasn't set into it. In any case, I'll keep looking forward towards more <3
Hope you had a great Christmas and have a happy New Years!
"Moon" is something that Navy has poured a lot of himself into. It's draining for him, but he really does enjoy it. We will see more of it, I'm sure.
And it's compounded by (and I always say this) work. I was fortunate to have Christmas and Christmas' Eve off, but I'm away from my apartment ~12-14 hours depending on the day; when I come home from something like that I have a hard time sitting down and doing anything requiring mental effort on my part. Writing being what it is (id est stressful and difficult) I have a hard time motivating myself to do it much now.
Ergo => It took me something akin to a month to write a 2400 word chapter.
I definitely like the slow burn you have going on in Private Gig. Although I do wonder what you plan to do about the fact that Octavia eventually does need to go back to Canterlot.
I've been following all of your writings since TMiaHM story. Your most recent story, Private Gig, was interesting but I definitely felt stupid while reading it. The were words presented that I had to use my computer's dictionary to determine their definition. I think you are the only author on this site that I needed to refer to the dictionary multiple times throughout the story and I consider myself a pretty advanced reader. Obviously I was wrong. When I read your stuff I feel retarded like Derpy.
I think that sometimes the story, Private Gig, got slogged down by scholarly word choices and other technicalities. I mean sure it is cool to think about how waiters get paid and stuff but I really don't care. This story seems it should be a romance why harp on unnecessary details like how waiters get paid or even Octavia explaining to Twilight about her job to know stuff about magic. Again, sure that's cool but the story just feels heavy and pretentious. Don't get me wrong, I love the story.
More importantly.
I was really confused here. Lyra is a unicorn as far as I know. Shouldn't non-pegasus be non-unicorn?
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Unless she specified non-pegasus because including them would hurt her case.
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PJ,
Because you care enough to comment, and because you (at least, I think it was you) were the first one I ever saw to list one of my stories in your recs bar:
I'm letting you know that PG is (unofficially) going on hiatus in favor of tMiaHM (very much in reverse of the way things have been recently). I'm not saying anything about when Moon is actually going to be updated, but... I'm working on it.