Menace to Propriety (Spoilers/Summary)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/409288/menace-to-propriety

I personally really liked this fic, and thought it was rather adorable how Diamond saw potential in a pet that wasn't well liked by others. It was also a good lesson for Diamond too, with the potential death of her pet and the drama between her and Spoiled Rich - which was really interesting and deep.

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Full summary I wrote for it here:

Diamond Tiara is at some wedding party and sees cupcakes, she is hungry and wants to eat some - and tries to sneak them away without being noticed, but Spoiled Rich notices and tells her to put them back. One of the bridesmaids came with the improper dress and the replacement dress is too small for her, this infuriates Spoiled Rich even more and she is not at all pleased with Diamond. A pony named Valentide is someone who works with Spoiled Rich. All of the dresses were colored in salmon with the one pony in apricot. Spoiled Rich is furious at this. Spoiled Rich wants Diamond to step aside to not be under hoof.

Spoiled Rich then catches Diamond Tiara trying to get food again, who is very hungry - and says that Diamond has to wait to get food later. Carat Cut, is a fancy pony whose daughter is being married today and she wants it to go perfectly, and is wearing an amazing really fancy dress. Carat Cut and Spoiled Rich talk about how Spoiled Rich finally got married, and it only taking her 20 years. Spoiled Rich's mother remarried sometime ago. Carat Cut sees Diamond Tiara and is not pleased with a foal being at this wedding, looking at Diamond Tiara with a very judgmental manner. Diamond knows that Spoiled Rich could really tear into Carat Cut for the way she acted and thought Spoiled Rich was very skilled in society battles. With Diamond Tiara being treated like she was nothing here, she was getting very angry - and decided to keep it under control as she walked up to Cart Cut to refute her statement - about how Spoiled Rich "couldn't afford" a nanny. Diamond refutes Carat Cut, and offers a cute grin to the other ponies around, Carat Cut not expecting Diamond to refute her. Spoiled Rich came between the two, glaring at Diamond, and then went onto say for Valentide to help Diamond do something with her time.

Spoiled Rich thinks that Diamond's manners aren't good at the moment, and says that after an hour, they can do whatever it is they want to do. Diamond had a contract written up with the family, be have, and keep the dress clean - and Diamond can get what she wants. The wedding was everything Diamond expected, with Lily lace being the bride, and much nicer than Carat cut. Diamond assumed Lily Lace was on the lower bracket of the upper class. There is an area where the doves are being kept and Diamond mistakenly calls them pigeons, offending the bird wrangler, Dainty Dove. 33 pigeons and 33 magpies. Dainty Dove explains that doves are bred, and a scraggily one bit Diamond's tail and was shooed by Dainty Dove away and then pooped on one of the other doves. The bird seems to be a mess, all scraggily and a mix of a pigeon and a magpie. Valentide comes out and is shocked at the sight of the birds, and then Dainty Dove lets Diamond hold one of the other doves, a white dove that reminds her of Silver Spoon's butler. 237 is the name of the weird messed up scraggly pigeon.

Diamond seems to be getting curious about the "menace" bird here. Spoiled Rich and the Bridesmaid were walking in the distance, with Spoiled Rich trying to fit on the proper dress for her - with no luck. Diamond stuck her hoof into the cage and the "menace' bit her hoof of which tickled her, while Valentide and Dainty Dove spoke to each other. The "menace" is there to complete the number 33. Then they went off to attend the wedding, and Spoiled Rich was seen, with Diamond walking up to her, Spoiled didn't seem to be very pleased with Diamond, for some reason. Valentide said that Diamond was on her best behavior and Spoiled Rich seemed fine with that. Diamond than says for her pet, she wants one of the wedding doves of which Spoiled Rich makes sure is "not one from the everfree or some screeching parrot". While sitting there with Spoiled Rich, all Diamond can think about is the bird she wants, which of course is the "menace". The wedding begins and Valentide cries because of the wedding, confusing Diamond. Diamond insists on wanting a bird. Spoiled Rich adjusts Diamond's dress as they sat together. After the husband and wife accept the marriage, Spoiled Rich smiles with a true smile on her face. When the doves come and everything is all perfect, the "menace" comes down and poops on he silverware for the wedding cake.

Later on, Diamond has 237 in a bundle of napkins, of which Spoiled Rich does not want Diamond to have this bird - Diamond seems very fond of him and they are in the gazebo together, obviously Carat Cut wasn't at all pleased about what happened with the others at the wedding seemingly had taken amusement to the situation. Spoiled Rich thinks the bird has a disease with his appearance. Diamond then reaches into her pocket for a contract, evidently there was some counseling situation going on and the contract had something to do with that - with there lots of other things in her pockets she had to sift through. The therapist suggested the idea of a contract to keep promises, as a contract was something that formalized a pony's promise. Spoiled Rich had already agreed with the contract, and Diamond says that she can have any pet she wants - though the contract has certain guidelines, but with the pigeon number 237, Spoiled couldn't find an out. Diamond slips up and says that the bird isn't hers, and they go off to try to find Dainty Dove, quietly sneaking about to avoid Carat Cut.

237's homing instinct kicks in, and with a direction of his neck movement, they manage to find Dainty Dove moving along with the other pigeons in the cave, eager to get out of here because of the embarrassment of what happened. Diamond and Spoiled return 237 to the very scared and frantic Dainty dove, with Diamond thinking about various plans of how she could have kept him. Diamond figures Dainty Dove wanted to abandon him on purpose and Diamond rescued him from the cake and grass so nothing bad would have happened to him, and Diamond offers to buy the bird from Dainty Dove. Dainty Dove allows Diamond to buy the bird and hands over the various paperwork and Diamond kisses him, of which shocks Spoiled Rich, and Dainty Dove gave the bird to Diamond for free. The bird sits on Diamond's head and seems to trust her, and appears to have calmed down a lot. Diamond then begins to read his papers.

Aviary: East Canterlot’s High Rollers

Birthdate: 06/04/1002

Category: Fancy/Tumbler

Breed: Trottingham Magpie Pigeon

Color: Blk

Registered Number: #237

Registered Title: E. Canterlot’s Menace II Society

Eventually Spoiled is convinced, and says that Diamond did this on purpose to hurt her of which Diamond says she didn't, Spoiled seems to be saddened by this, and finally relented. Dainty Dove basically ran off whenever she could.

The rich family got a marble birdbath for the Menace, that would take 6-8 days to arrive. The Menace didn't seem to like being made to take a bath, but he had no choice but to and needed to get cleaned up from the cake incident and the bathroom smelled like bird poop - with Randolph and the maids just watching quietly. The Menace is stubborn and doesn't want to bathe himself, of which Filthy Rich will be home in a half hour. This forces Dusty Trails, the maid to bathe him - Diamond wants him to bathe himself but he proved too stubborn. Diamond sulks and is frustrated that she couldn't bathe the bird, thinking about how she is not fond of Dusty Trails's presence here and how she liked it better when it was just Randolph. Diamond doesn't like the idea of maids. Randolph looked on and smiled at her, seemingly wanting to say that everything would be alright. Diamond gets water on her from Dusty Trails and pouts about it, with her thinking that the Menace is simply nervous about what happened with the cake. Dusty than says that he has never been inside before and it was a very kind thing of what Diamond did, taking this bird in.

Later on, Filthy sees the Menace for the first time and the bird. Spoiled Rich seemed to keep her distance from the bird for now, and Filthy Rich seemed to think that they were getting a dog and had actually collected some dog supplies in the store's backroom for weeks. Filthy seems a bit amused by the Menace. Spoiled Rich states that Diamond picked out the bird, of which Filthy asks her why this particular bird. Diamond got a little too defensive and realized her mistake as she put the Menace on her back. Filthy doesn't seem to understand and wants Diamond to talk honestly about it. Diamond tells Filthy about it as she looks back at the arcade machines in the game room. Filthy just wants to understand it. Diamond then says that the Menace is a one of a kind and special, and then the Menace poops on the carpet - obviously Filthy isn't too pleased by Diamond's decision to get this bird. Filthy then asks if the bird can fly, of which it seems unlikely for him to be able o fly, maybe because of PTSD from what happened and he thinks the Menace will be a bit of a hoof-ful. Diamond then explains about how the bird keeper didn't want the Menace and basically left him to rot. On the way to the cage, Filthy almost runs into Spoiled Rich, of which Randolph caught the watering can she was using. Diamond stays quiet as Filthy and Spoiled start to argue about what happened at the wedding and why Spoiled took her there in the first place. This really stresses out Diamond and then she says that she is glad she went to the wedding because she got to meet Menace, and then they went on to check out the birdcage in Diamond's room, of which Spoiled suggested some of the designs for it. Filthy is shocked at how expensive the cage costed, and he and Spoiled leave the room to probably argue about it, and it is decided they will take the Menace to Fluttershy tomorrow to get him looked at.

When Spoiled Rich moved to Ponyville, she had never really smiled or showed any signs of enjoyment. Over time, Diamond had learned that she prefers to keep her feelings hidden and isn't someone who is easily joyful. On the way to Fluttershy's cottage, the carriage they had was parked near to it and Diamond and Spoiled power walked to it as elite ponies do not walk to their appointments. When they came in, the Menace freaked out the other birds which started making noise at it in turn and the Menace began to be upset inside of the cage, shaking around a lot. They are going to Fluttershy since Spoiled thinks she is free, and has a touch for animals. Fluttershy then tells the other birds to calm down and that they shouldn't speak in such manners, though the Menace has a potty mouth towards Fluttershy when she is found and she says that birds have a hard time adjusting to new places and wants to take a look at him, without offering Spoiled any words or acknowledgement. It also seems that the Menace plucked out all of his feathers when he is let out of his cage, of which Fluttershy continues to ignore Spoiled Rich. Diamond insists that the Menace isn't sick. Fluttershy said that birds do this when they are extremely stressed and she will get a sweater for the bird, while Diamond isn't so trusting of her surroundings and suspects that something is up. Evidently Dainty Dove didn't treat the menace right.

Fluttershy says that the bird has a wry neck, and that is what makes him fly weird - while Spoiled Rich seems to watch on with a sad-ish expression as if she knows what is going on here, while Fluttershy says that the Menace hasn't aten in a while, for a whole day and doesn't seem willing to eat and Diamond then says that he drank some water during the bath they gave him, of which Fluttershy notes that pigeons usually like to bathe themselves. Despite this, Diamond never mentioned that the Menace had crashed into the wedding cake, of which there was chocolate - something that is poisonous to birds. Further conversation between Fluttershy and the Menace proves that he has a concussion, of which Diamond doesn't seem to understand the severity of. Fluttershy then says that sometimes birds don't make it with these sorts of injuries, and that compared to Diamond, the Menace hit the window far harder than usual and Diamond doesn't like Fluttershy's attempts to hug her or look at her sadly at all, she wants to be told what to do to fix it. Diamond doesn't like it at the cottage here.

Diamond remembers that when her Nana died, her father wanted Diamond to sit and talk with her as she was laying there, and that is basically what Fluttershy wants Diamond to do with the Menace. To keep him comfortable and give him food, talk to him. Angel gave them the sweater, of which Diamond doesn't like Angel for some reason. Diamond got up to leave, of which Spoiled Rich seemingly wants Fluttershy to tell Diamond what will happen to the Menace here, of which Fluttershy rejects, the rest of the birds look sad. Spoiled appears tired as she leaves the cottage. Diamond doesn't consider Fluttershy a vet and Spoiled takes them home. Diamond had the Menace set up in the panic room in the basement, thinking about how it had only been used once and that Spoiled had a plan for a guest bedroom in it but that changed due to her paranoia. Diamond just wants to care for the Menace and keep him comfortable here, thinking that showing him the trophy room wasn't a good idea. On Monday, Diamond goes to Silver Spoon's house. Filthy Rich had gone to Manehattan, being dragged away from vacation because his manager messed up.

Diamond heads to Silver Spoon's house at 4:30 in the morning and rings the door bell lots of times and a really tired Silver Laurel comes out, looking at her, evidently not pleased by her waking him up that early. Diamond has a letter for Silver's Granddad, of which she asks Silver Laurel for Silver Spoon to come home right now as soon as possible. Diamond continues to ask, of which Silver Laurel wants to know it is a serious, real emergency. Silver Laurel goes in and gives her the supplies for a scrying spell. Diamond was about in town and got some supplies from Mrs. Cake for the Menace and comes home, to find that Spoiled Rich never left - and wants to talk with her.

When Diamond is working on trying to set up the scrying spell, Spoiled dries to get her attention here and Diamond ignores her, though she says she is listening to what Spoiled is saying. Diamond isn't listening to Spoiled at all, and only pretends to nod along. Diamond has Silver's kettle to use for the scrying spell, of which the act of scrying requires. Diamond is eager to show the Menace to Silver here. Spoiled had stopped talking and Diamond noticed when she was pouring the water into the cauldron for the spell, her cutie mark color going into the water as it "Searched" for Silver's magical signature. Spoiled Rich seemed more confused at what Diamond was doing, more so than anything and Diamond says she wants to show Silver the new pet she has, of which Spoiled isn't angry at all and considers it understandable, while Diamond has the chance to do so. Spoiled made a sad expression of which Diamond doesn't like at all, and goes onto say that she wants to show Silver the Menace when she gets back home next week. Diamond said that she wanted someone to talk to, and Spoiled is frustrated at that response as that is what she has been trying to do here with Diamond.

Diamond is envious of Silver's supportive family, but knows Silver Laurel's words that there is no promises the scrying spell would even work, since Silver Spoon would have to be near a place that has water. Diamond thinks to herself about how Filthy is away on work, while her real mom is gone from her life, one way or another. Diamond says it is summer vacation and that she has all the time in the world, but Spoiled says the Menace doesn't. The Menace made a sad sounding coo, with Spoiled asking if this is how Diamond wants to remember the Menace's last hours or days, of which Diamond still doesn't get what she is referencing. Spoiled says she just wants to talk and isn't angry, and Diamond says that Spoiled isn't her mother and that her mother lives in Applewood and says that Spoiled doesn't care about her pet, and just wants to hear herself talk. The scrying spell seems to finally work and start connecting, with Silver Spoon's image materializing inside of it, with Blueblood nearby. Spoiled is not pleased by what is happening and considers it denial, a coping mechanism, while Diamond just wants to be left alone to do her scrying spell. Spoiled grabs the scrying spell and pours it out in the sink, saying that the Menace is going to die and Diamond throws a saucer at the wall, almost hitting Spoiled, shouting that she is a liar - and doesn't care about the consequences.

Spoiled goes onto explain that Fluttershy wanted to make Diamond feel better and that this discussion is best left for the family and Diamond is upset about it, still in denial about this as Spoiled sits on the ottoman across from her. Spoiled said that the Menace doesn't look good at all. Spoiled says that she didn't want to make the year any harder for Diamond and that some of it is her fault, and that it doesn't look good for her to get a pet for Diamond and have the Menace pass away a week after. Diamond is upset and says that Spoiled thinks he is garbage and that at least Filthy Rich got to know him a bit. Diamond thinks that Spoiled wants the pet to die so she won't have it in the house, and she considers Spoiled a quitter, something her mom never was. Spoiled doesn't get angry at this, and simply says that is what she has been told, with a sad blink.

Diamond thinks about the accident that happened in Vanhoover with her getting hurt, it wasn't Golden's fault, if she just trained harder it wouldn't have happened and her parents were still together. Golden would have tried everything for the Menace. In the corner of the room was the drum set that Golden had gotten her. Diamond starts to cry, and says that her mom believed in her and that she could do it, and she says that her mom doesn't think she is stupid, and then cries more, saying that Spoiled doesn't even like her. Though, Diamond worries that her mom didn't visit her because she was a loser and a failure for the injury and that she has no patience for losers, at least that is what Diamond thinks, but she shrugged that side. Spoiled says that she loves her, and goes silent - with Diamond thinking that she has never seen Spoiled truly angry, and Spoiled asks Diamond to come to her, right now. Spoiled comes closer and says that there are hundreds of places she'd rather be, than be with a dying bird and a daughter who can't stand her, Spoiled also goes onto say that the Menace needs to rest and there are probably other places Diamond would rather be. Spoiled then says that love is complicated, and that it means roughing it out even if it is miserable. She doesn't like the Menace, but she loves Diamond, and is here for her, while Silver Spoon is away. Randolph is probably on the other side of the house and Spoiled says that she isn't good at love. They then discuss what happened at the wedding, where Carat Cut was rude to Diamond, and Diamond wonders why Spoiled didn't stand up for her and Spoiled wanted to give her a taste of the adult world and that she presumed that Diamond would handle it correctly and not get upset.

Spoiled then goes onto say that not everything is about Diamond and that her job doesn't work the way it does with Filthy Rich. She works for the clients, not the other way around. She says that Carat Cut went after Lily Lace and Snapshot. Spoiled Rich says that she is sorry if Carat Cut hurt her feelings, but a wedding is something that happens only once. Then Spoiled checks the cage, to see that the Menace is literally gone from the cage. They begin to look around the Panic Room, not finding him, but finding the mess that he left on the way out, Diamond left the room open accidentally, not pleasing Spoiled Rich very much in doing so, and some of the trophies and awards Diamond has were out of place in the War Room. Spoiled doesn't like the idea of uninvited ponies in her house. Spoiled and Diamond continue searching through the house, talking about where the bird could have gone and where Diamond would go when her parents would argue, thinking the Menace didn't like the arguing between Spoiled and Diamond. Spoiled said that animals like to go off and away when they know it is their time to die. Spoiled said that her sister's ragdoll cat did the same and it was in her closet and she was sneezing for two weeks thanks to her allergic nature to cats. . Spoiled says that her talent was a matchmaker, but talents don't match jobs, unfortunately. Spoiled says that she knows what her cutie mark means and Diamond suggests the CMC could help her, of which Spoiled rejects that and considers the CMC a bad, dirty influence and Diamond doesn't like that at at all saying that just because Spoiled doesn't have friends doesn't mean she can backtalk Diamond's friends. Spoiled is not amused by this and says she wants to prepare Diamond for the real world. Diamond doesn't agree with Spoiled's assessments and Spoiled says that they are rich and have appearances to upkeep, as Canterlot never forgives.

Spoiled Rich considers Silver Spoon a snake, and they begin to search the game room for the Menace as they discuss/argue with each other, Spoiled considers most ponies out for themselves and that status maters most instead of friendship, more or less. Spoiled goes onto tell a story about lovers who were in complete different economic classes and when they were married, the mother of the stallion who was married disowned him completely and cut all ties, burning photographs of him, so Canterlot ponies say. Spoiled Rich married two ponies, only to have one of them be disowned from his family. Spoiled says that 99 percent of ponies are garbage, rich or poor and the only ones worth being friends with is the 1% and exceptions of which Spoiled considers Diamond to be. Diamond says that during the wedding that apricot and salmon are the same color of which Spoiled rejects, and Diamond and Spoiled talk about the menace more and how Diamond truly didn't get him to spite spoiled, of which Spoiled almost wishes that she did and admits that she isn't good with communication. Spoiled wanted them to get a pet together as something to do.

Diamond praises the Menace and says that he is special, and Spoiled finds him in the liquor cabinet where Diamond wasn't tall enough to look. Spoiled hugged Diamond, saying that the Menace was dead, while Diamond Tiara can still see movement. The Menace then suddenly flies out, knocking liquor all over the two of them and breaking the glass, leaving Spoiled a mess, and to top it all off, the Menace poops on his sweater, evidently not being on his deathbed after all and Diamond says that he is clearly feeling better. Turns out, the Menace was just faking it all along and he wasn't actually dying, much to Spoiled Rich's annoyance.

Diamond had gotten an expensive carrier for the Menace, and a month later she takes him to the family Therapist, Doctor Batina Belfry. Diamond has him on a leash and he seems to be doing a lot better. This is Belfry's first time seeing him. Diamond had gotten him a flight suit and some spikes for his back, so that he could easily be found if lost and so other animals wouldn't be able to attack him easily. Doctor Belfry is very soft and has the gentlest touch of anyone Diamond knows. Belfry's blue coat is easily visible. The Menace sits in Diamond's lap, with him sitting his neck so it is up, while Belfry discusses what Diamond would have done if she was the Menace, why he played dead, and Diamond says that he was probably in a bad mood from his neck hurting, doesn't like any other birds and is nervous of changes in surroundings. Diamond says that the Menace had a hatred towards sweaters and even was attacking pony ones, he didn't like wearing it at all. Evidently Diamond was grounded for a bit and tried to negotiate with Filthy about it, Silver Spoon had already seen the menace.

Doctor Belfry was very lenient on Diamond and allowed her to talk about things at her own pace, here. Belfry had paintings made by other foals, that they put their heart into making and Diamond thinks about how everything said in here matters. Belfry was playing with a jumbo Slinky here, while Diamond wanted to let the Menace off of his leash. There were no windows. Belfry sits on a beanbag casually, with her wings drooped to the sides as they talk about Diamond's pet day with Silver Spoon and how Spoiled and Randolph don't want other foals pets on the grass or in the house. Belfry keeps her sessions confidential and one on one and the way the seats for foals are designed is so they are above eye level, not looking up at Belfry. Diamond's deal with her parents was that she couldn't travel more than 4 miles from her house. Evidently the Menace and Opal don't get along, with there only being Winona and Silver Spoon's fish that went to "pet day", with Silver Spoon having not seemed too fond of he Menace's antics as he pooped on the table in the story Diamond recalls. The Menace tugs on the slinky Belfry was playing with, with Belfry letting him.

The Menace wasn't too kind towards Winona and ate seeds on Silver Spoon's table and then pooped in her saucer, with Silver Spoon obviously not being very fond of his antics and finding it rather gross. Diamond then goes onto have an argument with Apple Bloom and called her a blank flank. Back in the present, Belfry and Diamond discuss what happened and how Diamond feels bad about what she said but not why she said it. Diamond then goes onto explain Apple Bloom calling him funny made her mad and Belfry said that words and opinions can mean different things from different ponies and that relationships take time to build. Diamond goes onto explain that with the Menace everything so far had been a fight, and now he is becoming more accepted into the family, and Belfry says that an enemy isn't something needed for progress. Diamond admits that having a pet is hard since she has to take care of himself and it's a large responsibility that weighs on her time, and Belfry said that compromise and learning about each other is something that never ends. Belfry then asks about how things have been with Spoiled while the Menace wears a slinky on his neck to look cool, and Diamond begins to recall how things have been with Spoiled recently.

They had been in Canterlot visiting family while the Menace had been taken along with them, and Spoiled compromised with Diamond and he was let loose from the cage on his leash, Spoiled had been hard to compromise with, evidently and Spoiled didn't want him to be let loose from the carrier. They had gone onto a an executive car, where the Menace was seen from some stallions there - Diamond Tiara comes face to face with Carat Cut. Carat Cut wasn't pleased at all by the two of them being seen and Carat Cut kicked the Menace, making Diamond extremely angry. Diamond says that Spoiled didn't like him at all, but at least she never tried to hurt him and explains her anger to Belfry. Diamond then goes onto say that she cried when this happened, by design to make the passengers feel sympathy for her and the Menace, and Spoiled went up and hugged them, making Carat Cut look terrible for what she did in front of the 42 passengers. Carat Cut folds and apologizes, with the passengers having been enamored by her "performance".

The bell rung and the session with Belfry was over, and she had some notes for Diamond to follow, talking to Apple Bloom and anger management exercises, and for some reason - a suggestion to continue playing the harmonica. Belfry walks Diamond out, of which Filthy was reading two economist novels to Spoiled to keep her entertained for the wait. At the end, the family jokes about getting an ice cream franchise, and the Menace coos in solidarity.

Comments

[ExplosionMare]

That's certainly a long summary, hehe. The Menace is such a funny bird, I feel like part of why Diamond secretly kept him around because she enjoys the chaos. The Menace reminds me a lot of Celestia's pet (can't remember how to spell her name) and how she faked a dramatic death, as well. Those two would probably make good partners in crime.