The Dragon Game · 10:58pm Dec 20th, 2023
You know the one.
A sheaf of papers, prefaced with a short letter, all written in a sturdy, simple hand.
Abbot Stillwater,
When we parted ways, you asked me to record my wanderings, my friendships, my hard-won lessons and my failures. As you have already instructed me thoroughly on my failures, I have nothing else to report to that effect. To the other items, I am pleased to offer several instances of success.
Please see the enclosed report on the Charitable Lot, the worthy band I have elected to join. My companions’ actions are certainly more virtuous than my own, and I hope this message fully captures their bravery.
If it pleases you, light a candle for Eloquence for me.
More missives to follow. Your servant,
Diligence
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We departed in the early morning on Jaquay's wagon.
Let me describe Jaquay: he is the salt of the earth. He can never be embarrassed. He does not breathe; he belches. He brews a variety of alcoholic beverages that are all the things you warned me about. His highest virtue is loyalty. His lowest vice is indulgence. He is not fully terrible, but I do not wish to be around him any longer.
Jaquay hired our team to investigate a cruel misfortune afflicting his village. Livestock was dying. A wolf, I thought. Perhaps a witch. Easily solved.
Our team consisted of myself, our leader Tor'Gar, the warrior Brin, and later the mercenary Geoff. Let me describe them.
Tor'Gar is an orc, but do not think less of him. He is old already and he wears his years as a heavy cloak. Life has been difficult for him. I do not have to ask him why he fears fire -- the scars tell the tale. He is strong, and brave, and cares for each of us more than himself. He feels a sense of guardianship for me; much, I think, as you once did.
Brin is our man-at-arms. He is not what I expected from a warrior. He is sharp, cunning. Intelligent and well-read. He sees shapes where we see shadows. He is destined for greatness, I think.
We were joined, later, by the mercenary Geoff. He fought with daggers and hid behind trees -- I think you know what that means. But he never stole from us, and he drew his share of monsters’ blood. If he remains with our band his skills will suit us well.
When we arrived at Jaquay's hovel, we went straight into the woods, for there was nothing in his little “village” (I hesitate to even honor it with that term) of interest to us. We found rabid, starving wolves and dispatched them. You will be pleased to know that I was badly injured and nearly lost my arm to one wolf -- only thanks to Brin and Tor'Gar did we defeat them.
While we were exploring the woods we encountered Jed, Jaquay's adoptive son. Jed took responsibility for defending the village, and while he initially disdained our presence, he eventually accepted us.
We returned in the morning to the village and resolved some minor, banal issues I will not dignify with describing here. Suffice it to say I do not know how the people of this hovel survived before our arrival.
Jed accompanied us for our next expedition into the woods. It was a harsh lesson. A pack of wolves found us, and Jed was nearly killed by a tremendous dire wolf whose hide could deflect an ax blade. Together, Tor'Gar, Brin and I managed to destroy it, and we suspected our mission might be complete. We hurried back to town with the wounded Jed and aided him as best we could.
I should add, at this point, there was an odd feature of our visits to the woods. At various times we heard a quiet voice say the word “Moopsy,” at which point one of us would feel a sting, as though a cinder ant had crawled into our clothing. We also found many dead animals with no apparent injuries except that their bones were soft as clay. I do not know if “Moopsy” and these unnatural deaths are related, but it contributed to a dread that haunted us throughout our hunts.
The next morning we began fighting giant spiders. You might assume, as I did, that a “giant spider” is perhaps the size of a rodent, or maybe a cat. This is not the case. They are the size of wolves, or bears, or even houses. If I were naming them, I would call them “titanic spiders,” or perhaps “incomprehensibly large spiders that transgress nature through their monstrous size.” That is more accurate to me than “giant spiders.” But alas, I was not asked.
Back to our mission. We killed the spiders harassing the town and went into the woods again, in search of Jed and Jaquay, who preceded us. We found more spiders and killed them.
We found Jed, who was upset with us for following him into the woods. This was the least surprising part of knowing Jed. We camped for the night, and he abandoned us while keeping watch. This was also not surprising.
In the morning we debated our course, and eventually Brin persuaded us to proceed further into the woods, in pursuit of the “Spider King” whose name was whispered about campfires in the full clothing of dread. We sorely missed Jed’s skills as a hunter, but our promise to the town to defeat the evils haunting them came first. We went deeper into the forest.
We came then to the webs in the woods. You have seen, many times, what spiders do when left alone -- they wrap everything in their silk, they clutter corners with cobwebs, they horde the husks of drained insects in white cocoons until their webs are so laden with victims that the threads break and down spill all the remains of their meals. You have seen this in empty rooms and under shelves and within storage closets, but imagine it consuming an entire forest, with webs like sails shrouding the trees and the still, horrible forms of animals and people enwreathed in webs, hanging from the branches like obscene fruit. We saw all this and we walked forward anyway toward our duty.
The spider king attacked us. He was a great psychic and his thoughts bombarded our brains. We pushed forward again.
Geoff was captured by a trapdoor spider, dragged beneath the earth. How he escaped their snares I do not know. We still moved forward.
We came to the deepest woods, where the sun was a memory and the sky was all trees and webs. Great spiders the size of bears attacked us, and we dispatched them. We were slick with their ichor.
I should mention here that Brin is afraid of spiders. Normal spiders -- the ones no larger than your palm. I can only imagine the terror that these monstrous, titanic horrors induced in him, but he never wavered. He slew them, just as the rest of us did. You would have praised him, I am sure.
Eventually, as we destroyed his daughters, we came to the Spider King, who bore upon his monstrous body two great heads and sixteen eyes. His fangs were like wheat scythes and dripped smoking venom on the ground. How many mortals he has consumed over the centuries, I cannot guess, but it must surely be thousands.
But this monarch fell to our blades. He was, in the end, only mortal himself. Tor'Gar claimed the killing blow and wore his fangs as a trophy all the way home.
Throughout all this, we heard the strange calls of the “Moopsy,” and Geoff and I saw a strange, plump, rabbit-duck-cat creature scampering through the bushes. We found Jaquay and Jed, and as we returned home, we came across this “Moopsy” again, and Jaquay took it for a pet. I wish them both the best.
I write these final words as our wagon returns to Moonhaven. Soon, we will depart again on another task; another opportunity for me to fulfill your desperate hopes. But for now, I remain alive, and I must disappoint you.
Oh, that whole village is getting its bones drunk...
But the adventures won't have to learn about that disaster for a time. Great rundown of both heroes and deeds. Thank you for it. I should see if I can put together one of these for one of my Lancer campaigns...
Oh dear...
Ohhh very cool!
Any orc who makes it to old age is not someone you want as an enemy.
"Livestock was dying." ...Considering what was in those woods the villagers were very lucky. And the Charitable Lot isn't going to get paid nearly enough.
5760429
We got, like, a few rations! Not even any gold!
5760494
Reminiscent of the Seven Samurai, paid in meals of rice.