Spooky facts with Spike II: The season of the spooky dick!

Spike Drake was sitting at his parent's kitchen table, he was sewing two pieces of pink fabric in order to turn it into a lovely dress for his niece, '' Oh hello buddy! Look like you are finally here, it's nice to see you so soon at this time of the year...Nah I'm joking what the fuck are you doing at my parent's house? What am I doing? Can't you see I'm being a great uncle for the only person I care about in this Happy little pink goody two-shoes worlds full of blue-haired Twat Celestia X user! Let me guess, you are here for me stories? Alrighty then, sit down and listen to my wonderfuck spooky adventures!''

Number 10

I put laxatives inside my mom's special Halloween biscuits thinking it was for the children, I wanted to have a laugh for once. I was dead wrong, it was instead for the big party at Celestia's palace...No matter what they said, even if you are royal, your shit is brown!''

Number 9

When I was in this alternative earth of forever darkness, I managed to snatch a pretty rad song, ''The salary mash'' my pockets were light so I decided to sing it on YouTube to make some bits. When I woke up the next morning, I was the most hated man on the internet and the family of the late Boris Pickett was suing me so yeah, no money for me.

Number 8

For a brief short time, I was haunted by a racist ghost named uncle Ponus no relation...Nothing fancy here, just a fucking racist ghost telling me to go home, ''Go home you lizard bones sucker meat muncher son of a scaly bitch''

Number 7

Me and the gang went to the abandoned Waverly Hills Sanatorium to get some ghostussy! We were kinda high on blunts this time, once inside there was nothing too crazy to see, only shitty ass rooms with shit and blood stains, cockroaches coming out of the toilet, and shadows telling me to fuck off. I wanted to push my luck so I closed my eyes and started singing Daisy Bell (Bicycle build for two)

''There is a flower within my heart
Daisy, Daisy
Planted one day by a glancing dart
Planted by Daisy Bell
Whether she loves me or loves me not
Sometimes it's hard to tell
Yet I am longing to share the lot
A beautiful Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two

Once done singing, I realized I was standing on the roof of the sanatorium, under the watchful eyes of unknown beings from this world... It was awesome.

Number 6

I was drunk in a Corn maze once and lost myself in it, took me 3 days, tears, and a buttload of hard corn cobs to leave this place alive...The next day I went there to burn it to the ground but I lost myself in it again.

Number 5

For this one, imma show a quick video that my friend Rumble sent me from one of the security cameras'' Spike took his phone out of his pocket and pressed start. In the video, we could see a pedestrian walking on the street when suddenly an ambulance crushed him against a tree. Spike got out of the ambulance, dressed like a paramedic, a beer can in his hand, looked at the guy, hit him to see if he was breathing which was not the case, he took a sip of his beer, grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote don't touch, expensive decoration then leave.

Number 4

Believe me or not but once again I managed to get a date with the new original Halloween character Spooky Ruby, a big titty goth daddy issues witch so I was fucking happy! She convinced me to go to a party in the everfree forest, I was like fuck yeah, and maybe later I would eat her forest if you know what I mean! Long story short I ended up tied to a tree without my clothes on and a chaotic pentacle drawn on my chest. I was fucked when I saw her holding a big ass dagger and even more fucked when she stabbed me in the heart with it, I was losing sight when suddenly Discord appeared in a smoke cloud looking completely lost due to the situation he was in. Yet I'm sure you are wondering how the hell did I survive this hell? It is quite simple, Discord killed them all by making them inflate like a balloon before blowing it into tiny pieces, he then used their blood to heal me. I'm now 20% native equestrian

Number 3

Because of all this blood in me, I became a vampire for like a week or something....I killed a lot of one-time characters to clench my thirst.

Number 2

Once night fell on Halloween night, I hid under my sister's bed dressed as a skeleton to scare her, only nothing worked as planned, Twilight entered her room accompanied by Shining's best friend, Flash. I spent the whole night with highly cancerous makeup on my face while hearing my sister being fucked and screaming "I'm your slut witch"

Number 1

For once, I wanted to do something good. So I decided to organize the biggest rave party Equestria has ever seen, I chose the location, and quality gear that cost me a fucking arm and a leg. But it was worth it because once night fell, it was the best party of my life. Everyone was there: the princesses, the entire city, and even the political dignitaries of other nations and it was at Midnight that I sent my biggest Bangers, a remix that I found in my sacred book. At first, everything was great then I saw Rumble shaking like a guy having an epileptic seizure but in reality, it was his skeleton wanting to come out of him, which he did and the bloody hell started all over again. I was like
- “Fuck, not again!!” How I saved the situation, Jack shit I opened a portal to another universe where another Spike plugged in the speaker wires and took a big chestnut of 110 volts and died instantly. I took this place and voila

Well, this is the end of the night and the costume is ready, so I wish you a good night and don't you forget the moral of my story...Fuck Christmas!

Comments

[Fallout dude 50]

Jesus Christ man