Slightly Worse · 4:11am Aug 6th, 2023
More information came back from testing on the tumor. Turns out the type of cell the tumor is made of is particularly aggressive when it comes to replicating. This means that instead of doing radiation, and then chemo, I'll be doing chemo alongside radiation, followed by only chemo after the radiation therapy is through. Additionally there is something called an MGM Marker that my tumor cells may or may not have. If they do have the marker, the chemo will be the most effective. If they don't have the marker, the chemo will merely be LESS effective, but still effective... but that still isn't good.
They're also overall emphasizing that this isn't CURE, this is CONTROL. There IS no cure. Even though I've been told things are good and they're not particularly worried, it's hard not to think about the fact that eventually this thing WILL kill me unless something else does before it can... which I supposed was true of life overall anyway in the first place so I guess nothing's really changed in THAT regard.
I still need to write more before I die.
We are listening. I can't feel what you feel, and no one can, but we can talk and share what is going on with the closest we've got. If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. If you need to vent, I'll listen. If you need to just let it out, I'll continue to read.
You'll pull through.
You're a tough bastard and I know, I have FAITH that you will pull through