Upping the Update · 12:50am Apr 17th, 2023
Forgive my slow, rusty fingers, which struggle to combine letters into words and somehow combine all those words sensibly. When one is in a constant work state, such things come naturally. Once someone has been out of the game for a while, you're left squinting, silently repeating your writing, and wondering where your head has gone.
But I can't tell you how many times I've written this kind of opener after being away from writing for some time, to the point that I'm pretty sure the introduction to each of these kinds of blogs is the same. What do you expect? If I were in the game, newer, fresher words would come immediately.
Sometimes you must head down the same, familiar path, to regain your footing.
After that, you can tackle all the mountains you like.
(You're still only halfway making sense.)
Ah, shit.
Hey gang! Been a while! Don't mind the cobwebs or the lack of furniture. In fact, looking around this empty, dark space, it reminds me of a cabin resting in the middle of an abyss. But still. Don't mind it. No sense in looking out the windows. Nothing—or nothing you want to see—is beyond that glass.
How have I been? Alive. Dandy. Moving.
It's been a few months—counts on fingers—nine months since I 'retired'. I'd like to say that I've been using the time wisely, but really, it's been drafting up ideas and outlines, developing those, finding out they're shit, and chasing after a shiny new idea.
Then the new problem takes the place of the old problem, and I'm exactly where I am, but then a shiny new idea appears and—what's this 'learning from your mistakes?' Oh, well. I've since learned that, when it comes to outlines and writing properly, I can do it to a decent degree.
But I'm the kind of writer that, once they have enough of an idea in their head, it's much better to just write, revise, and adjust as you go. This whole notion of 'creating the perfect outline' isn't applicable to me. Even doing rough notes to know what comes next takes all the flavor out of my gum.
In short, I think it's best to trust your gut, outlining to the extent that it demands, but if you tire of it, get onto the fun that is composition. I've found that, even if you write something tight and polished, if it's lacking heart or essence… it doesn't matter how good of a flow your syntax has.
It's just text that fails to evoke anything greater than itself.
Work, on the other hand, has been good.
Everyone is good. The workers and the higher-ups. I've been steadily working up the ranks. I always find it funny that, the higher you go, the smaller the things you operate. I was trained to handle a mobile crane. Now? I drive a truck like an Uber driver, dropping off conductors at their designated trains.
A bit more goes into it, but that's the gist.
"Before you drop me off," says the guy at the back of the truck. "Mind hitting up Tim's?"
[Tim's is Tim Hortons, a coffee and donut shop, a 'special' place every Canadian knows.]
I'm being trained to be Lead Hand soon, which should be fun, and after that, my goal is to get into the company. Haven't decided the exact role. IT is pretty good, because you do fuck all, and they pay you to go to school for it. But… that's still a year and a bit in the future.
Life has been going on beyond that. I'm not as active or social as I used to be. Mostly just saving money, preparing for a move into a house a buddy bought, and then… I dunno. Things are pretty content for me at the moment. There's not much negative to write about beyond a lack of excitement.
I still have the desire to travel and see the world. I would still like to make it as a writer, or, at least, live off my writings to the degree that I can see the world. I want to write stories that I find interesting and fascinating, and through writing them, they come to mean something more to me.
But my life has no greater plot or story than that.
That's all I really have to report.
I might return for a story on an Alt Account to finish the Land of series. Leaving Twilight, my OTP, out of the mix doesn't feel right. But… who knows when I'll get to that.
I'm sad to see the deaths on this site while I'm away. Many people I knew from back in the day are no longer with us. Some of their dreams or greater wishes for life had gone unrealized. But, at the very least, their impact on me was real. And their stories, the encapsulation of a unique, pleasant thing, still remain.
And, for me, that's enough.
Keep well, everyone.
~ Yr. Retired Pal, B
Hi B! Saw ol Shakes at BABScon, mentioned you in our brief chat. Glad things are going well! I'm busy myself, teaching the kids about writing and literature. Good stuff.
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Glad you're keeping well! Looks like Babscon was a good time.
Man, that Pepto Bismol jingle is everywhere!
Glad to hear you're still around!
i.ibb.co/ncm6BFs/Did.png
Made this for you <3
Your comments on outlining remind me of Stephen Kings memoir on writing. Was interesting enough that I had finished it before I knew it.
Happy things are working out for you brother.
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All good! Whenever I tend to forget, my reflection stops me dead in my tracks and offers me some water and pills.
Sure is thoughtful, that one.