Great Stories Done Better #1: Project Ascension · 12:42am Feb 7th, 2023
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!
If you haven't read the original story and do not want to be spoiled, visit the link here and read it. The Music of Ponyville
Alternatively, you can listen to the reading of the story here (which also includes the story Longing, which is not necessary but does add context). Dramatic Reading
If you do not want to be spoiled, turn back now. This is your final warning.
By continuing, you are affirming that you either have read the story, or you don't mind being spoiled.
Plot
Project Ascension takes place 6 months after the events of Longing, in which Twilight finally accepts Spike as her son. I say "accept" because even though they went through the adoption process, in Project Ascension, it's revealed that Celestia had always had Twilight as Spike's mother. But more on that later.
Project Ascension is primarily focused on Scootaloo. The mad scientist that goes by Bloodwing is a pony who created Scootaloo long ago. She escaped to Ponyville and made herself a new life 2 years prior to the story. Bloodwing's agents, disguised as Foal Protective Services there to take Scootaloo back to the orphanage she escaped from, convinced Twilight and Rainbow Dash to get Scootaloo. Scootaloo, who had seen the agents prior was in the cave she had been living in all this time, fearful of being found. When Rainbow found her, Scootaloo explains everything. But the agents claiming that she would likely exaggerate the conditions she was in, plus just how unbelievable the situation was, led Rainbow to believe that she was just afraid of going back.
As Rainbow Takes her to the agents, Scootaloo yells at Rainbow and tells her that she hates her, even telling her to kill her, because death would be better than going through what she had to. The agents put her into a restraining jacket, which even though is overboard, is a legit way for FPS to take unruly foals back if necessary.
As the agents brought Scootaloo to the carriage to take her back, they kicked her in order to calm her down. And they would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for their proximity to Sweet Apple Acres... where Applejack saw it.
Applejack when to Twilight and Rainbow to tell them that Scootaloo was being foalnapped. They explained that they were FPS, but AJ pointed out that FPS wouldn't kick foals and put them in a cage. Twilight, who sent a letter to Celestia about the situation, including the agents, got a reply. Agents Black and Blue, the agents (and proving that Bloodwing is the leader of the Red Ribbon Army with the colored naming convention) are, in fact, criminals, and there are no records in Canterlot about Scootaloo from an orphanage. Learning this, Rainbow Dash is traumatized at knowing what she did to the filly that she loved. But they had a spell that would allow them to track down where she is.
Meanwhile, Bloodwing injects Scootaloo with a serum that causes her wings to grow larger as well as a horn. Scootaloo had been turned into an Alicorn. During testing, when Black would beat her whenever she failed (making any reader want to turn Black and Blue black and blue), Scootaloo had managed to escape. With her newly grown wings, she headed towards Canterlot to find help there.
While the Mane 6 were looking for Scootaloo, Spike and the CMCs had stowed away, wanting to help their friend. They were found out when they were attacked by Timberwolves and Spike saved them with his Dragon Fire. When they find Bloodwing's base, it has been abandoned at this point. They had gotten there before it was destroyed, the task of doing so given to Red and Yellow. This is where it's revealed that the agents with colors as their names also have special abilities. Specifically, they have elemental powers. Red has fire, and Yellow has electricity.
Bloodwing finds Scootaloo and takes her to a different base. But hearing the pain in Scootaloo's voice at being caught again triggered something in Red. He realized that she was just a child who was being tortured. The fact is that Red was not working for Bloodwing by choice, but by blackmail. Though he doesn't help her escape (yet), he does help to comfort her. He revealed to her that his real name is Blaze Dream (which is ironically much more fitting of a name, considering that his element is fire).
Twilight had cast a tracking spell on Red and Yellow, which Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy followed, and Twilight cast a tracking spell on Rainbow Dash so that they could follow her. When Fluttershy was falling behind, all RD had to do was mention that they were going to hurt Scootaloo. That was all the motivation Fluttershy need to fly at a speed on par with RD herself.
RD and Fluttershy had found the new base and went in to attempt to free Scootaloo. They failed, this time even resulting in RD's capture. Fluttershy was able to escape. But they had learned that Bloodwing was also after Spike. The reason for this is the same reason why Celestia made Twilight his mother from the start. The entrance exam is rigged so that all entrants will fail. The reason for this is to determine how each pony will deal with failure. It's rigged to fail because the Dragon Eggs are fake. They do, in fact, have toy dragons inside. But Twilight was different. She was given a real Dragon Egg... or so she thought. In reality, Twilight's Dragon Egg was a fake just like for all the other entrants. Twilight herself is the reason why Spike is alive. She turned a toy Dragon into a living being. Though the conditions are odd, Twilight is his mother. She gave an inanimate object life.
And Bloodwing wanted to experiment on him. He contains Twilight's magic. Magic that powerful enough to grant life to a toy. He wanted her magic to create an Alicorn. He also used Rainbow Dash's DNA for the Pegasus element. And the result of this experimentation was Scootaloo; an artificially created Pony.
When they all get to Canterlot Castle, Spike and the CMCs are instructed to stay there. But Yellow breaks in and abducts Spike, Meanwhile, Blaze helps Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo escape, as well as his little brother, who Bloodwing was using as blackmail.
Bloodwing takes the magic out of Spike, turning him into little more than an amorphous mass of magic, which Bloodwing uses to turn himself into an Alicorn. Bloodwing then takes on Celestia and Luna, using his magic to absorb their magic and weaken them. He also has the ability to use his blood and turn it into a whip. The Mane 6 enter the battle with the Elements of Harmony. The battle works after Blaze and Scootaloo also enter the battle.
In the end, Spike was presumably dead, considering that his magic wasn't strong enough to hold a form. Twilight, his mother, was desperate to get him to come back to her. This works, in a cliche way, but I like it. But when he regained his form, Spike was not a Dragon, but a Unicorn colt.
Rainbow Dash was taking care of Scootaloo, now that everything was over. Rainbow mentions that she wanted to adopt her (which was blatantly obvious throughout the story, considering how many times she referred to Scootaloo as her daughter). Scootaloo then asked if Celestia can turn her back into a normal Pegasus. Celestia grants this and is able to return Scootaloo to her normal Pegasus form. This process was irreversible. But Scootaloo didn't want to be some kind of experiment.
Spike is now a Pony, though apparently does have the ability to change forms. Scootaloo is a Pegasus again, though keeping her ability to fly now, and now with Rainbow Dash as her mother. Blaze and his little brother are properly reunited without fear of Bloodwing taking them away from each other. And Bloodwing is now imprisoned.
And they all live happily ever after... or at least until the next threat that the Mane 6 tend to attract on a weekly basis.
And a few loose ends...
Red = fire
Yellow = electricity
Blue = water
White = ice
Black = ...I don't remember. Maybe earth?
Also, it's later revealed that Rainbow Dash is also an orphan.
Review
I don't have much to say about this story negatively. It pulls at the heartstrings (and not of the Lyra variety), you feel their pain, you HATE the villains with a burning passion in all the right ways, creative battle sequences using different elements and defeating them in a disturbing way (you'll have to read it yourself to find out), and the happily ever after ending was just that, a satisfying ending to an emotional and action-packed story. After everything that they went through, they deserved that happy ending. They earned it and then some.
I give Project Ascension a 4.5/5. I consider it a must-read. It's just that good.
How to make it better
This is the section where I point out what's wrong with the story, and how I would've done it to make it better in my opinion.
I have an issue with Scootaloo being turned back into a Pegasus. Just to be clear, I don't have an issue with her wanting to be turned back. But I feel like Scootaloo should've had some lasting effect that she had to live with as Spike does. I think that turning Scootaloo back shouldn't have been an option. It just bugs me that it was reversed as if nothing had happened. Celestia having the power to take away the Alicorn powers from Scootaloo just seems like a cop-out. Even if I grant that Celestia could take away the powers from others, I think Scootaloo should be a unique case because of her nature of being created rather than born.
This is just my opinion, after all. And it's still a high rating.
So what do you think? have you read the story? Do you agree with my assessment that Scootaloo should still be an Alicorn? Is there anything else that you would add or change to make the story better?
Please comment and tell my your thoughts.
I want to comment, but I have not read the story in question. I still haven't caught up on other stories yet...
Uh... name of the blog series needs workshoped?
Maybe "Interesting stories possibly improved!"?
I would have gone with: "Interesting Stories Improved, Spoilers"... but I don't think "ISIS" makes a good acronym... for... reasons...
Im... afraid other than that, I have no clue... sorry... and if that didn't make you laugh then I'm afraid I have completely failed here...
5712666
What about Awesome Revising of Stories and Edits?
5712683
"A.R.S.E"? Thats ARSE mate! 
HAHAHAHA!
How about:
"Reviewing Editing Awesome Literature.
Spoilers Here. Interesting Technicallities."
REAL SH... wait... no...
Hmmm... perhaps...
"Interesting Revisions Edits and Awesome Discussions..."
"I.R.E.A.D."?
I like reviews I sometimes find them interesting.