An Imprecise Science
Main Characters: Starlight, Daring Do
Cameos: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Pipsqueak, Del, Satsuma, Rei
Original Start Date: March 8, 2014
A faded blue earth pony mare with light grey mane sits at a bar. A yellow-brown pegasus with a greyscale mane sits next to her and orders a drink.
‘Hell of a show tonight,’ Daring Do comments.
‘Agreed,’ Winter’s Howl replies. ‘That was a wonderful look into your new book and latest adventures.’
‘Eh. I do what I can.’ She leans back and drinks. ‘Just fun regularly having adventures.’
‘Where are you headed next?’
‘Gonna head back to Ponyville for a bit before the last couple stops in the tour.’
Winter’s Howl drinks. ‘Same schedule as here? Reading and Q&A?’
Daring smiles. ‘Not quite. Gonna do a reading at the library, but I’m also planning a signing at my friend’s store and stopping off at the schoolhouse. Ya know, go all out for my home.’
‘That will be fun. The teachers, Mr Sparkle and Ms Wanderer, are very nice.’
‘Sparkle and Wanderer, you say?’
The earth pony nods. ‘I met them not too long ago. They are good teachers and great siblings. You’ll like them.’
Daring smirks. ‘I am sure I will.’ She finishes the rest of her drink. ‘So, my place or yours?’
Winter’s Howl blushes. ‘S-sorry. I’m not into mares.’
‘You will be once I am through with you.’
Starlight giddily prances around Ponyville Library. Apple Bloom comes back from shopping to see her coltfriend happily hopping about.
‘Yer excited. First time meetin’ Darin’?’
Starlight stops and nods. ‘Yep! I’ve read all her books, all her son’s books and his son’s books!’
Apple Bloom facehoofs. ‘Starlight, remember what Ah said ‘bout spoilers?’
‘Try to limit myself to one or two a week?’
‘Ah still think that’s too much… Anyway, ain’t ya makin’ too much o’ a big deal ‘bout her? She ain’t like her books, ya know.’
‘That’s good. Her last books and her rewrites made her seem overly sexual and crazy about time-traveling scientists.’
‘Well, actually...’
‘OH! She is probably here now! I’ll be right back!’ Starlight teleports away.
‘... that is pretty much all true...’ Apple Bloom hangs her head and sighs. ‘She’s gonna do untoward thin’s t’ him, and it’s gonna be his own damn fault...’
Starlight appears outside of Neighponese Imports and enters right away.
‘Welcome to, blah, blah, blah,’ Scootaloo says, not looking up from a hoofheld game.
‘Is your roommate here?’ Starlight asks, rounding the counter.
Scootaloo glances up. ‘Yeah, but she is...’
‘Great! I’ll just be a minute!’
‘... resting.’ Scootaloo sighs and returns to her game. ‘Knowing what Daring will do to him… So jealous of her right now.’
Starlight dances up the stairs. He looks around the apartment. ‘Hello? Anypony home?’
‘I’m up,’ Daring yawns as she comes out of her bedroom. She sees her guest and a lusty grin forms. ‘Give me a sec, and I’ll have you up too.’
‘Uh… Hi? I’m Starlight.’
Daring sashays over and takes the unicorn in. ‘Hey, handsome. Great to meet you.’
‘Uh, yeah. It is nice to meet you. I am the the new teacher at that school-’ -- he lets out a sharp scream -- ‘-house.’
Daring retracts her hoof from under her guest. ‘Very impressive.’ She rubs against Starlight. ‘Same as your job.’ She passes and wags her tail under Starlight’s nose. ‘So, do you have a longer name or just Starlight?’
‘I-I am Starlight Sparkle.’
Daring turns back, her smile wider. ‘Sparkle? Any relation to..? Oh, definitely. I can see it all over you.’ She brings her muzzle close to Starlight’s. ‘Care to pick up where your father and I left off?’
Daring leans in for a kiss, but Starlight scrambles back. He trips over a couch.
‘I have a fillyfriend!’ the young stallion shouts, teleporting away.
The pegasus laughs, gets a drink and heads downstairs. She sits at the counter with Scootaloo.
‘So, what is the story behind Mister Starlight Sparkle?’
Scootaloo laughs. ‘Don’t tell me you’re after him? That ain’t gonna happen.’
‘Oh?’
‘I’ve seen mares cut in front of him in the market just to flag him, and he doesn’t even bat an eye. He’s completely devoted to Apple Bloom.’
‘Him and the cute redhead?’ Daring chuckles and drinks. ‘Target doubly acquired. I’d love to be in the middle of that.’
Scootaloo shakes her head. ‘You love living dangerously.’
‘Daring does what other ponies don’t,’ the older pegasus replies, heading back upstairs.
Apple Bloom goes to the bedroom. There is a large lump in the bed, shaking. She goes over and uncovers Starlight, balled up and stroking his tail.
‘Met Darin’, didn’t ya?’
‘She touched me… in places,’ the stallion whimpers.
‘Ah coulda warned ya. She really had it fer yer pa too. Like y’all are a magnet fer the mares or somethin’.’
‘I need an adult...’
Apple Bloom sighs, kisses her coltfriend and sits with him.
The couple wakes early to a knocking on the library door. Apple Bloom gets up, leaving Starlight to drool into his pillow. The young mare yawns as she trots downstairs.
‘Ah’m comin’. Ah’m comin’.’
She opens the door for Daring.
‘If what I hear about your coltfriend is true, you must say that a lot.’
‘Hey, Darin’,’ Apple Bloom huffs. ‘Ah see ya haven’ changed.’
‘Good to see you too, sexy. Thanks for letting me have an event here.’
The librarian shows her guest in. ‘It’s fer mah visitors. Jus’ remember that if ya step out of line, Ah’ll pound ya.’
‘Yeah, yeah. One broken wing from a filly half my age is enough for one lifetime.’
There is a noise from above them. They look up to see Starlight trot out of the bedroom.
The stallion yawns. ‘Apple Bloom, I was having a bad dream that you weren’t sleeping beside me anymore, then I woke up and the nightmare was real. I need cuddles.’
Daring flies up. ‘Don’t worry. I’m here for you.’
Starlight screams and teleports away.
‘Ya really have a way with some ponies.’
‘He’ll be back. I know where he lives.’
Apple Bloom groans and goes to a storage closet. ‘Let’s jus’ get ya set up.’
Starlight sneaks back to the library after school. The front door is open, and he can hear ponies inside. Specifically, he can hear Daring inside, telling a story. The stallion creeps to the door and peeks in.
‘You think you can get past me, eh?’ a pony says behind him.
‘Easily, Pip,’ Starlight replies. ‘I was just checking to see if my room was clear for teleporting.’
“What do you mean “easily”?’ his friend complains. ‘You’re talking to a Lunar Guard here.’
‘Aren’t you the lowest-ranked Lunar Guard in Ponyville?’
‘I prefer to think that I am the one with the most potential.’
‘Scootaloo taught you that, didn’t she?’
‘I don’t see why that matters.’
Starlight laughs. ‘Anyway, what are you doing here? You don’t strike me as a reader.’
‘I’m Daring’s security for this part of her trip. She hoof-picked me to be her bodyguard.’
‘Stay on top of her constantly please. It is for her own good that you stay on her and never let up.’
‘With wording like that, you’ll make Dinky jealous of me,’ a voice says behind Starlight.
The unicorn turns to see Daring behind him. He screams and dives behind Pip. ‘Some bodyguard you are! How’d you sneak past us?’
‘Please. I’ve been sneaking around temples since your grand-daddy was your age,’ Daring scoffs. ‘I think I know how to slip past some bibliophiles to give the sexiest stallion I have seen some attention.’
‘I’m flattered, but Dinky really would get jealous,’ Pip replies.
‘Not you, shrimp,’ Daring says, pushing past. ‘Now, how good are you at kissing? Your father usually had me ready with one good kiss.’ She puts her face close to Starlight’s. ‘And they were all good kisses.’
‘Not recommended,’ Silver Spoon comments calmly as she exits the library.
Starlight tries escaping as Daring goes in for the kiss. He is saved by a last-second hoof blocking his face.
‘What do ya think yer doin’?’ Apple Bloom growls.
‘Trying to make out with your coltfriend, duh,’ Daring replies. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do around his tongue region. Gotta get it warmed up for the main event.’
Apple Bloom drags Daring inside as more patrons leave the library. ‘Pip, block the door,’ she says after everypony has left. She turns to the other mare. ‘Listen, Darin’. Jus’ cause nopony stood up t’ ya when it was his pa ‘round, doesn’t mean Ah won’ take ya ‘round back and give ya what’s comin’ t’ ya if ya keep goin’ after mah Starlight.’
‘She will!’ Starlight adds, nodding. ‘She almost beat up Silver Spoon for a kiss that was my fault.’
‘Pfft,’ Daring scoffs. ‘It is all in good fun. Did she tell you that she is invited too? What do you say Starlight? You, me, her. Sounds like fun.’
The stallion looks at the two mares nervously. ‘I plead the fifth.’
‘Starlight!’ Apple Bloom yells.
Daring and Pip laugh.
The pegasus calms herself. ‘Don’t worry a thing, Apple Bloom. I won’t go hunting him down or anything. I’ll behave myself. It is not like we will be around each other too often. I just have an all-day signing at the shop, and tomorrow is a special lecture at the schoolhouse. Not like I’ll run into him there.’
‘Phew,’ Starlight breathes. ‘Perfectly… Oh carp! I forgot about the lecture!’
Daring grins. ‘Oh? Do you work at the schoolhouse? Isn’t that interesting...’
Apple Bloom growls and stands between her coltfriend and Daring. ‘Ya lay one hoof on him...’
Daring raises a hoof and swears, ‘Not one hoof.’
The other mare glares. ‘Fine.’
‘See you around,’ the pegasus says, heading to the door ‘Come along, shrimp.’
Pip nods and gets the door. He follows Daring out. ‘You really going soft on him? Very classy.’
‘Well, I said ‘not one hoof’, but that doesn’t mean two, three or four, or a wing or my tail or just shove my plot in his face.’
‘I am suddenly jealous of him.’
Daring laughs. ‘I knew you would be.’
Foals laugh and play innocently before school, unawares of the danger about to befall them.
‘I keep telling you it is really weird when you narrate real life,’ Del comments, trotting up to her brother.
‘Sorry,’ Starlight apologizes, looking away from watching his students. ‘I just feel the need to add a little color to the drama of life.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘Daring is coming today.’
Del gasps. ‘Oh right!’ She smiles. ‘I hope she brings treats. She used to watch me when I was living with Rei. She has such fun stories.’ She laughs. ‘She used to make dad blush so much.’
‘I know how he feels.’
The stallion is tackled in a hug. Daring rubs her cheek on his. ‘Feels good, don’t it?’
Del snickers at her trapped brother. ‘Good to see you, Daring.’
‘Hey, little Del.’ The pegasus lets the unicorn up. ‘So, I’m here for the biology demonstration, right?’
Del laughs again as her brother scrambles to hide behind her. ‘I think you are just giving a talk about archeology, like you did when I was a filly.’
‘Those were good times. You’ve grown a lot since then.’ Daring checks Del out. ‘You look a lot like your sister...’
‘Whoa! Hold on!’ Starlight shouts, stepping in front of his sister. ‘Del is pure and innocent. I’m not letting you get your claws into her.’
‘Daring is a friend, Starlight,’ Del sighs. ‘I’ve known her for years. You get used to her playful flirting.’ She smirks. ‘I mean, you can forgive anything just for a peek at a flank like her’s.’
Daring winks. ‘Back at ya.’
Starlight grumbles and goes to the door. ‘I’m going to get the students. At least wipe down the desk when you are done.’
‘Did you and Apple Bloom after you used it?’ Del asks.
Starlight shudders as he leaves the building.
Daring gets her laughter under control. ‘Did they really hook up in the schoolhouse?’
Del nods. ‘You’d have to ask Satsuma for the details, but it is true.’
‘The more I learn, the more I love.’
Starlight lays in bed after school. Apple Bloom lays with him.
‘Ya okay?’ Apple Bloom asks. ‘Did she misbehave? Want me t’ get the family t’gether and smash her place?’
‘No, it is okay. She… wasn’t that bad, actually.’
‘Really? Ya sure?’
‘Very. I was there to make sure,’ somepony else says.
The couple yelps when they are locked in a hug and wings wrap around them.
‘So, who’s up for some Neighponese take out? My treat,’ Daring offers.
Apple Bloom growls, ‘Darin’, if ya don’ get off...’
‘Oh! I like where this is going.’
The earth pony yells and swipes behind her. Daring flies safely away.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Daring lands by the door. ‘Like I said, I’m treating you to dinner. My way of thanking you for letting me attend your class today. Del is waiting downstairs.’
‘Hurry up, big bro!’ Del shouts from out of the room.
‘Why are ya bein’ so… not ya?’ Apple Bloom accuses.
‘Come on, Apple Bloom. I’m playful, but I know when not to ruin a good thing. Starlight is clearly meant to be with you. If my prodding has proven anything, it has to be his devotion.’
‘She does have a point...’ Starlight agrees. His stomach growls. ‘So does that. I say we take her up on her offer. I doubt she is going to risk getting her face smashed in by you in public.’
‘Fine, but ya can’t sit anywhere near him.’
Daring nods. ‘Fine by me.’
‘Preferably, ya will sit somewhere near Canterlot or Los Arion...’
Daring laughs and leaves the room. ‘You’re always such a hoot. Let’s get going. Sooner we get there, sooner we can start filling Del’s bottomless stomach.’
Starlight gets up. ‘Good point. She only had three meals while at school today.’
‘I heard that!’ Del yells.
Apple Bloom huffs and joins her coltfriend.
Starlight trots with Satsuma through Ponyville.
‘Why do I have to go with you?’ the older brother grumbles.
‘Because mom is busy and she doesn’t want me going alone.’
‘Couldn’t you have seen her after class yesterday?’
‘Daring left so quickly. I didn’t have a chance.’
Starlight groans, ‘Ugh. I’ve been seeing her way too much recently.’
‘I can go on my own. I don’t get why I have to have an escort when I’m around her.’
‘Have you asked your mom?’
‘She says it has something to do with dad.’
Starlight nods. ‘That’s about the size of it. We want to keep you pure and innocent as long as possible.’
Satsuma groans, rolls his eyes and follows his brother. They reach the nerd district. A large crowd has gathered around Neighponese Imports. Rei and Scootaloo fly above them, directing traffic. The Power Block and Marvelous Comics and Collectables have signs up for Daring Do products, trying to lure customers to their stores as well. The brothers sigh and join the crowd. Their sister waves and flies down.
‘Here to see, Daring?’ Rei laughs and pokes Starlight. ‘Can’t stay away from her, can you? Just like daddy.’
‘So I’ve heard,’ Starlight grumbles.
His big sister snickers. ‘Come on. Let’s see if I can sneak you in.’
Rei leads her brothers around the building and lets them in a back entrance. They head through a storeroom and Scootaloo’s spy center to get to the main shop and easy access to the front of the line. Starlight levitates a box of Pocky for the brothers while they wait. Soon they are at the front of the line.
‘Back for more, eh?’ Daring laughs, seeing Starlight.
‘I’m here for him,’ the unicorn groans.
Satsuma stands on his hind legs and sets his book on the counter. ‘I really liked your last adventure, though I started seeing some flaws after the third and fourth read-throughs.’
Daring laughs again. ‘Thanks for keeping me honest, handsome.’
‘Whoa! Hold on!’ Starlight declares, pushing his brother back. ‘I don’t mind you messing with me, but he’s too young. My brother is off limits.’
Daring pouts. ‘Ah! I was just having a little fun with the little cutie.’
Satsuma rolls his eyes. ‘Yeah. She is always like this with me.’
‘Now I see why your mom doesn’t like you hanging around her...’
‘Pfft,’ Daring snorts. ‘She’s just being silly. She should take me up on that offer for my patented stress relief program. Emphasis on relief.’
‘I keep telling mom to accept,’ Satsuma replies. ‘I know she’ll come around eventually.’
Daring snickers. ‘That’s the plan. Good to hear you have her interests at heart.’
Starlight grimaces. ‘Let’s go before I get sicker.’
Satsuma reclaims his signed book. The brothers exit the building, but they are stopped by security.
‘Wait a minute,’ Pipsqueak says. ‘How’d you get in without me noticing?’
Starlight grins. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
‘Hope one of your commanding officers doesn’t work here,’ Satuma adds.
Scootaloo flies down. ‘How did they get past you, Pip?’
‘Uh...’
The brothers laugh and trot away together.
‘Hey! Let’s make one last stop before I take you home,’ Starlight suggests.
‘Where?’
‘ “When” is a better question. Trust me, it will be fun.’
Satsuma sighs then smiles. ‘As long as I am back before dinner.’
Starlight laughs and teleports them away.
Starlight lays on his bed, using his magic to help Apple Bloom reshelve books. Apple Bloom cleans up the library. There is a knock on the door. The librarian groans and answers. Her mood worsens when she sees who is on the other side.
‘Sup?’ Daring greets. ‘Is the other sexy resident here, sexy?’
‘What do ya want, Darin’?’
‘I was heading off to the next city in my tour and wanted to say bye.’
‘See ya.’
Apple Bloom tries closing the door, but Daring forces her way in.
‘Just give me a moment to see Starlight, and I’ll be off.’
‘Will ya give it a rest? Ya ain’t gettin’ him. He ain’t interested. Now get lost!’
‘Apple Bloom. I know that. I am just having a little fun with you,’ Daring explains. ‘This was all a game to get a laugh out of you. I didn’t mean any harm.’
‘Yeah, I ain’t buying that,’ Starlight says, standing at the top of the stairs.
‘You hurt me,’ Daring pouts. ‘I am sorry for my antics. Once my tour is done in a couple weeks, I am going to be coming back here. It would be pretty inconvenient if I were really this lusty towards you all the time.’ She laughs. ‘Heck, you’re half my biological age!’
Starlight sighs. ‘Just give us some time apart. That will probably be for the best.’
‘It’s a deal. Shake on it?’
Starlight rolls his eyes and extends a hoof. Daring smiles and flies up to him. Right as she reaches his hoof, she pulls him in, grabs the back of his head and gives him a big kiss. Apple Bloom screams and throws a book at the pegasus. Daring laughs and flies away before she can get hit, allowing Starlight to take a book to the face instead.
‘Now that is my kind of hoofshake,’ Daring cackles, flying out the nearest exit.
Apple Bloom keeps screaming inside the library as Daring lands outside. She trots away with Pipsqueak still escorting her. The stallion looks back at the library.
‘Are you sure that was a wise move?’ Pip worries.
‘Oh, I had to take the chance I was given. Besides, I’m probably never going to kiss him again.’
‘Especially not after Apple Bloom kills you on sight next time she see you.’
Daring chuckles and puts a hoofful of green hairs into a plastic bag ‘That is fine. I got all I need already.’ She stretches her neck and wings a little. ‘Besides, you’re my bodyguard. She’s going to kill you first.’
‘Wait! What?!’
Daring laughs as she flies to the train station, Pip chasing after her.
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daring don't much?
Satsuma is a reader after my own heart.
i was gonna do this too. picked this up on my third read-through, the one where im specifically looking for nitpicks. I'll try a fourth time, but i think you nailed it.
knowing Starlight's family, Daring's son will likely be a relation of Starlight.
EDIT:
yeppers, Daring will use the same tech that will eventually give inkie/rei children to make a bastard son of Starlight's.
#tinfoil-tibbles
4156236
1) Satsuma's line was written just for you. I never thought you would catch it
2) Hmm. I wonder what he would be like or what his name might be... If only there were a clue somewhere... PS: The tech, being developed by Twilight's mom as mentioned here, is also for Lyra's son, who was first mentioned here. ... SCS spent over a year of development! So sue me for making links everywhere!