Another Perspective: The Ultimate Question
Main Guests: Discord
Original Start Date: March 9, 2014
James laughs at Discord and gallops away. The draconequus snorts and snaps his talons. A large box on his tail disappears. He stretches and begins patrolling the palace gardens.
In another part of the gardens, a bright flash lights the area. A pair of ponies emerge from the flash. A couple seconds later, their glasses appear and land on their faces.
Satsuma adjusts his glasses. ‘You really need to work on that.’
‘Meh,’ Starlight replies. ‘Why fix what ain’t broken?’
‘When what is broken is my glasses, you’re the one buying me a new pair.’
‘I have a spell for that.’
His younger brother rolls his eyes. ‘Of course you do.’ He looks around. ‘So, where are we this time?’
Starlight holds up a hoof. ‘I’ll give you five guesses.’
‘I hate you.’
Starlight looks at his hoof. ‘Uh, pretend I lowered a finger.’
Satsuma huffs and starts exploring. ‘If this were that delusion, I would be showing you one for sure.’
‘Is it this one?’
Satsuma ignores his brother. ‘This looks like Canterlot. Cheerilee took us here on a field trip the year before you came here.’
‘Fun fact: Your aunt, aka my true love, freed Discord on one of those trips. Isn’t she just wonderful?’
His younger brother adjusts his glasses again. ‘I don’t think that word means what you think it means.’
‘Which one of us is a teacher?’
‘Sorry, I must have missed your last class.’
‘Only because you were passed out dead in the doorway. I told you to go home early.’
Satsuma snorts and looks around. ‘So, we are Canterlot. When are we?’
‘Now, that’s’ -- he turns and smirks -- ‘The Ultimate Question.’
His younger brother facehoofs. ‘Who are you talking too? Who do you think you are? Pinkie Pie?’
‘That’s me!’ a chipper voice shouts from the other end of the garden.
Starlight turns back to his brother. ‘Sorry. I just had to do that.’
‘Ugh. You’re so weird.’
‘We are here to observe one of the most important events in Equestria’s history.’
‘I was born during the daytime in Ponyville.’
‘This important event leads to that very important event.’
Satsuma grimaces. ‘If we are going to peep on my parents...’
‘Technically yes, but not in the way you think, pervert.’ He shakes his head. ‘All four of my siblings are weird.’
‘Four?’
Starlight marches forward. ‘Nope. Tonight, our target is in there.’ He points to a building in the distance. ‘We sneak in, hang out for a bit, catch the show, then it is back home in time to tuck you into bed so you can get plenty of sleep for class tomorrow.’
‘Do you plan these with my mom? Sheesh.’
‘How did you..?’
Satsuma starts trotting away. ‘What’s going on over there that you want me to see?’
‘I would be a poor teacher if I just told you what you were about to learn.’
‘There is just so much there, I don’t know where to start.’
‘Onward!’
Starlight leads his brother through the garden. They are within ten meters of the target building when a bright spotlight falls on them, a wall springs from the ground around them, and Discord appears dressed as a police officer.
‘Well, well, well. Looks like I caught some castle crashers.’ Discord snaps his talons, causing Starlight to appear in orange armor and Satsuma to appear in red.
Satsuma looks at his armor. ‘Seriously? I am more orange than red.’
‘I’d say you are more orangish-red with a tint of copper,’ Starlight replies.
‘I hate you.’
Discord looks at the strange guests. ‘Who are you? You seem so familiar.’
Starlight sheds his armor. ‘We are mere travellers here to observe the momentous occasion that is about to happen inside. We humbly ask that you allow us to pass, O Great Discord.’
Discord narrows his gaze. He gets out a clipboard. ‘Are you on the guest list?’
‘No, not really,’ Starlight replies, ‘but technically he is in there already.’
‘Huh?’
Satsuma thinks then grimaces. ‘I just got that and ew.’
‘So, can we pass?’ Starlight asks.
Discord frowns and snaps his talons. The wall is replaced by eight arrow-shaped signs pointing to a sign reading ‘NO!’
‘Clever. How about if I say the magic word?’
‘I really doubt “please” will get me to change my mind.’
‘What about… Abracadabra!’
Starlight casts a spell. He and Satsuma disappear. They reappear a second later, faces planted on a shield.
‘Did you really think it was going to be that easy?’ Satsuma grumbles, fixing his glasses for the second time this night.
‘My poor, beautiful face...’ Starlight whines.
Discord snorts. ‘Funny. I would have thought that was on the other side of your body.’
Starlight rubs his sore nose. ‘Seriously, you are fifteen-hundred years old and that is the best retort you can come up with.’
‘I am far older than that, son.’
‘Yes and no. Technically. To both.’
‘What are you on about?’
‘I ask myself that every time I see him...’ Satsuma mutters in agreement.
Discord sighs, upset. ‘I think you haven’t heard me.’ A flash surrounds him. He appears in a long grey robe with pointed grey hat and carries a staff. ‘You shall not pass.’
‘I can do that too.’ Starlight casts a spell. He becomes dressed in a starry blue robe with a starry pointed hat, both covered in bells, and a fake beard. ‘Now, will you pretty please let us pass?’
‘The bells are a bit much.’
Starlight holds up part of his robe. ‘Hoof-stitched! Bells are even in all the right places! I checked to make sure!’
The unicorn glares up and growls. Discord looks down and returns the snarl. Satsuma lets out a long sigh.
‘You know, we will get in there,’ Starlight states.
‘Bring it on,’ Discord counters.
Starlight turns his nose up and trots away. Satsuma groans and follows his brother.
A maintenance worker trots through the palace gardens levitating a ladder behind him. A second, smaller worker hangs from the back of the ladder.
‘This is the worst idea ever,’ Satsuma complains.
‘Everything is awesome!’ Starlight sings.
‘Ugh.’
Discord appears before the brothers again. ‘Halt. Where do you think you’re going?’
‘Here to patch up a reactor leak in your jefferies tube.’
Discord snaps his talons, removing the ponies’ disguise. ‘Nice try, but you have to get up pretty early to get one past me.’
Starlight glares. ‘One, this so-called “get up early” does not exist, even in your twisted sense of reality. Two, you need to be more friendly!’
‘We can’t all be living the dream,’ Discord taunts. ‘Now shoo.’
Starlight retreats to plan a new trick. Discord laughs and whistles an upbeat tune.
Starlight straightens his new disguise as he levitates a number of pizza boxes. Satsuma grumbles as he pulls a cart filled with even more pizzas.
‘Why do I have to do all the hard work?’ Satsuma complains.
‘It builds character,’ his brother replies. ‘Trust me.’
‘Then why aren’t you doing any heavy lifting?’
‘Because I am already well-loved and a fan favorite. My name is in the title, too.’
Satsuma facehoofs. ‘And why am I called crazy when I tell anypony about my human dream!’
The brothers reach Discord’s checkpoint.
‘Forty-two pizzas with everything on them,’ Starlight says. ‘Just let us pass and...’
Discord holds up his paw. ‘Whoa. Forty-two pizzas with everything on them? Who ordered those?’
‘Uh… The white one.’
‘Which white one?’
‘Ya know. The one with wings.’
‘Which white one with wings?’
‘Uh...’ Starlight thinks. ‘Rei?’
‘Nice try. She’s back in Ponyville with her sister and fillyfriend.’
‘Damn it. Worth a shot.’
Starlight turns to leave, but Discord stops him.
‘Leave the pizzas.’
The ponies sigh and set down the pizzas before they leave. Discord cackles and opens the first box. It is empty.
‘Well played. I did not see this one coming. But you haven’t won yet.’
‘This has to be your stupidest idea yet,’ the younger brother complains.
Starlight grins. ‘Trust me. This is going to work.’ The unicorn jumps in front of Discord and points. ‘Oh my mother! What is that!’
‘Really?’ Discord facepaws. ‘This has to be your stupidest idea yet.’
‘Tell me about it,’ Satsuma agrees. ‘It is like he doesn’t have an original thought in his head.’
‘He is just the worst.’
Starlight growls. ‘I know you wanted to meet him, but you weren’t supposed to get along.’
‘I don’t even know him,’ Discord huffs.
‘Yeah, you’re probably thinking of somepony else,’ Satsuma adds.
‘You two are jerks. I can’t believe I am related to you.’
Satsuma rolls his eyes. ‘Coming from you, that really hurts.’
‘Aha! I knew you were familiar.’ Discord examines Starlight closer. ‘That mane. Those glasses. That aura.’ He snaps his talons, and a small blue creature with pink hair appears. ‘Seabreeze, what does the scouter say about his power level?’
Seabreeze angrily turns and faces Discord. ‘You fool! I am sick of that joke! You have forced me to do your bidding over nine thousand times! No more!’
The breezy turns, stamps its foot and huffs.
‘What? Over nine thousand?’ Discord sends Seabreeze away. ‘Seems like more than that.’ He turns back to Starlight. ‘Anyway. I am certain who you are, son.’
Starlight groans. ‘You really think that, don’t you? Just because he played along with you doesn’t mean it is true.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Satsuma asks.
‘Discord is under the delusion that he is our father. Maybe you can give him a hand in explaining how that is wrong.’
‘First, I hate you. Second, I really doubt my mom would let him anywhere near her willingly.’ He scoffs. ‘She’d need to be sick with blue flu to be that far out of her mind.’
Discord scowls. ‘Do you doubt who I am? I am Discord. I am the all-powerful master of chaos. I have traveled across dimensions to defend my crown.’
‘You really think that, don’t you?’ Starlight replies.
‘You have reason to doubt me?’
The unicorn sighs. He reaches behind Satsuma’s ear and gets out a sonic screwdriver. ‘Does your mom know you have this?’
The colt sweats. ‘She lets me borrow it!’
‘Sure she does,’ his older brother sighs, scanning Discord. He checks the result. ‘See. Your quantum signature is synced with our own. You are Discord, the last draconequus from the pegasi’s campaign against your kind fifteen-hundred years ago. Your imprisoning by the princesses was the only thing that kept your kind alive.’
‘That is proposperous! You would think I would remember something about a family or a little sister.’
‘You had a little sister? That is so sad to hear. Sorry for your loss.’
Discord shakes his head. ‘What? No. What are you talking about?’ He holds his head. ‘You’re confusing me.’
‘Confusing or helping you remember?’
‘You are trying to make me doubt who I am. Stop it.’
Starlight sighs. ‘You have been resisting for so long now. Give in and accept who you really are. Eris would have wanted it that way.’
‘She would have...’
‘So, can we pass?’
Discord nods. ‘Fine. Just get out of my head.’
‘Thank you.’ Starlight bows and trots past.
Satsuma follows, watching Discord. ‘What was that?’
‘Just a story dad told me once. One of two Discords.’
The colt stops. ‘Two Discords?!’
Starlight nods. ‘One was a draconequus who lived where Ponyville now stands. He would torment all the ponies of Equestria until the Princesses used the Elements of Harmony to seal him in stone.’
‘Until Aunt Apple Bloom freed him, right?’
‘Exactly. The other Discord was a being trapped between dimensions, something I recently gained too much experience with. That Discord was from Rei’s world where he was our father after his first regeneration. He abused and corrupted the regeneration energies so much that he created a crack in reality and an imprint of his mind was sent here and latched to our Discord. Similar imprints have crossed in the past, but usually just left without much incident.’
‘How do you know all of this?’
‘You know how I assigned you a five-hundred word essay, double-spaced with twelve-point font?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Change word to page, double to single, twelve to nine, and you have what my mother would assign me for homework.’
Satsuma grimaces. ‘Sounds brutal.’
‘Tell me about it. It only got worse when I was your age.’
His brother stops. ‘What?!’
Starlight stops too. ‘Shh. We’re here for the moment I wanted us to see.’
The unicorn levitates his brother to his back. They stand at the back of a large crowd of ponies. All eyes are focused on James as he nervously approaches Twilight Sparkle.
James bows down and holds up a small purple box with a shining, horn-sized ring inside. ‘Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?’
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Just finished the chapter.
R.I.P. my theory.
Oh well.
Give me a bit and ill fund another theory.
4119315
Don't worry. There will be many more points dissecting what was wrong with the theory in the future
Instead of 'fund'-ing another theory, I do accept direct deposit
4119428
ok, here is one,
What happened to James's Regeneration. if Discord was James mind on a unsuspecting Draconequus, where did the Doctor take the Discord that destroyed the daleks? we know he took him somewhere, and it looked like he was taking him back to when Discord was first discovered.
EDIT: i just checked origins. it has not been significantly altered, at least where they were talking about taking Discord back in time.
4119578
I'm pretty sure that one gets answered later. You never know what a princess and her big brother might find when they raid The Doctor's TARDIS.
And before I get too far, here is a preview of next week: