Thanks for the fave.

no problemo with my high edjimacation im just like you; highly photosynthesis

Thanks for the watch!

Pointless funny things

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill very many people.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

An apple away keeps the doctor away, longer if well aimed.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

I used to have a life but, that was before video games!

Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you.

Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then procede to tell you exactly why it isn't.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together.

Why are wrong numbers never busy?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpecting' make the unexpected expected?

I do visit reality, althought it's only on a tourist visa.

I used to have a handle on life; then it broke.

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is. (Or all the crazy people are caught)

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

People think they know me, They don't know me