Dashed Trust

by NightmareDash

Numbers Game

Two days later, an enthusiastic crowd of ponies had gathered at Ponyville town square. Signs were being held in hooves, banners had been hung, and everypony was chattering idly in anticipation. After quieting the excited mass, the Mayor took the podium and began her introduction.

“Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well!”

On cue, the mare in question burst onto the stage from behind a banner, to the cheers of the crowd. High above the celebration, however, much less approving words were being exchanged.

“Do you see her, Gilda?”

“Yeah, Dash. Right on center stage. Just like we expected her to be.”

“Good. These thing you got for us are great. What did you call them again?”

“Radios, Dash. Bought them off of a crazy doctor who lives on the outskirts of town. Never thought they would be so useful, though.”

“I’m glad they are. Look at her, basking in all that glory. My glory. Are you ready?”

“You bet. I’m dropping altitude now… perfect. There’s not a cloud in the sky down here, which also means no chance of me losing her.”

“Good. Remember the plan. I’ll handle the groundwork, you just keep me updated on where Mare-Do-Well’s going.”

“Got it. I’m ready to go. On your mark.”

“Time to take back this town.”

At that moment, the vengeful pegasus rose above the throng, ready to confront her adversary.

“The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, huh?”

Almost everypony stood back, in shock at this interruption.

“So what are you hiding? Let's see how mysterious you are without that mask!”

Rainbow made a dive for the vigilante’s face, but met only air. The heroine had lept off the stage, galloping down the street towards the markets. But Rainbow was not far behind, nor was her eye in the sky.

“You got her, Gilda?”

“Yeah, Dash. I’ve got both of you in my sights. She just hung a left and jumped the fence on the right.”

“Thanks. She’s all mine.”

Taking advantage of her new knowledge, Rainbow followed Mare-Do-Well’s every move. She was never more than a few hoofs behind her quarry, but just couldn’t take her down. Her focus was unbroken, until her radio crackled to life once more.

“Dash, call me crazy, but I’m seeing more that one Mare-Do-Well down there.”

“Oh my Celestia… How did I not think of it before?”

“There’s the one right in front of you, but there are about three others pretty close to you two. They all look about the same.”

“Keep me posted. I’ll deal with this one first.”

As the words came from her mouth, both she and the first Mare-Do-Well entered a long alley. This was it. Rainbow reached her hooves forward and started aiming for top speed. Not even Mare-Do-Well could outrun a Sonic Rainboom. The mach cone began to form around her, and her hooves reached around the hero’s cape and grabbed at her sides. But before the signature explosion (deadly in such confined quarters), both Rainbow Dash and Mare-Do-Well crashed headlong into a brick wall at the end of the alleyway. The vigilante took most of the impact, but apparently shared the pegasus’ uncanny knack for surviving: she was still perfectly conscious. Rainbow must’ve gotten hit harder than she thought, though, because now she could swear that there were two Mare-Do-Wells between her and the wall. But a winged shadow fell across her, which, accompanied by the thud of two ponies hitting the cobblestone, eliminated her doubts.

“You all right there, Dash?”

“Yeah, just got going a little bit too fast. I see you got two of the others.”

“Well I wasn’t just going to fly around up there and let you have all the fun. Besides, someone had to even the odds. Glad you managed to run into the last one.”

The griffon chuckled at her unintentional pun, as Rainbow Dash was able to snap out of the daze the crash had put her in.

“I should’ve guessed it before. They had so many powers, there was no way it was just one pony. But the charade ends now."

Reaching her mouth down to the masks of the two she had run into, she pulled them off with a bite. Gilda unmasked the other two with her claws, and both stood in shock at what they saw. The griffon was rightfully dumbstruck, but Rainbow’s jaw went clear to the floor. She started stammering in disbelief:

“What in the name of Celestia… Twilight? Applejack? Pinkie Pie? Fluttershy?”

“Don’t forget about me!”

A sweet, yet serious voice called out from behind. Gilda, on edge, flicked her right wing back as their heads twisted. The sharp tip of a brown feather embedded itself into the masonry, beside which Rarity stood. Her appearance only added to the confusion, and Rainbow could barely make out words for the situation.

“You… you… you’re all Mare-Do-Well?”

Comments

[PFT]

uh oh...
waiting for more.

[Phoenix Kitten]

This reads sort of similar to my own Mysterious Mare Do Well:Rise of the Shadowbolt story...some major differences in timing of the stories start and events,but on the whole,a very similar concept with similar situations.
With less Blazblue and Jojo's references obviously.

If I may offer an actual opinion...
Your plot is moving too fast and the character interactions are...lacking.
There is plenty between Dash and Gilda but I find it odd that aside from Rarity,not a one of the other Mare Do Well's attempted to talk their way out of the situation.
And not even then.Rarity seemed downright proud of what she had done,not sheepish at having had the operation revealed in such a way.
Biting into that,it seemed odd that Rarity would just out and out reveal herself in such a manner,not even trying to take the heat off the others by drawing Dash and Gilda's attentions.
But these are just my honest opinions,and do not account for the whole of the site.

[Trinary]

There were a great many things wrong with that episode, Dash's reactions among them. This concept sounds really interesting. But now that the reveal's been made...how will you have Dash react?

[NaturalGlitch]

"This is what REALLY would have happened. " No. No it's not. That's elitist thinking.

[NightmareDash]

198029 Don't worry: the fallout is coming next. New Alliances was intended to reconnect Dash and Gilda, Numbers Game was the slam-bang action piece (I love writing them), and Chapter 3 will get back to the Mane 6 and how this affects their friendship. Anyway, I read Rise of the Shadowbolt before I started on this, and actually it was an inspiration for some of this story (nicely done, by the way!). I admit I did kind of rush writing the end of the chapter a little, but I think I can explain Rarity's actions. If you remember the episode, I don't think she ever actually was Mare-Do-Well, so she probably wasn't in a position to suit up and make a distraction. She seemed more like the team's behind-the-scenes operator, running logistics and that kind of stuff (an Alfred to Mare-Do-Well's Batman). I always considered Rarity the type who wanted every ounce of credit she deserved, and in the episode she did brag on the costumes quite a bit. She probably still thought that the plan was going to end well for all parties, and having not been credited as one of the Mare-Do-Wells, she wanted everypony to know that she was a part of the project, too. Just my interpretation, but primarily, I just had to get her in the mix to set up the next chapter.