S2E13: Baby Cakes
Season 2 Episode 13 – Baby Cakes
Mane Street, Ponyville
The Agenda:
1. Impending Industrial Action from the Temporary Childcare Union. [ ]
2. LONG TERM - Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ]
Another day, another political crisis. Mayor Mare sighed as she passed the doors of warm, snuggy Town Hall and into the brutal and unforgiving world of Mane Street. “Typical Babysitters’ Union – and so close to election season as well!”
“Firstly, Ma’am,” Secretary for Administration Crimson Ribbon answered her query as he emerged behind her, “it’s the Temporary Childcare Union. TCU. And secondly, you know that looming election times provide the best opportunity for blackmail.”
The bespectacled mare nodded gravely. Given more peaceful times and she’d be laughing at how ridiculous the idea of a Babysitters’ Union sounded. Surely all they did was watch TV and talk about colts!
The bureaucrat, like any worth his salt, anticipated the thought immediately. “I’ve already told you, Ma’am,” he deadpanned. “Babysitters think they have the worst jobs in Equestria.”
“I know that, Mr. Ribbon,” the gray-maned pony said irritably as she set off on a light trot.
Her subordinate, condescendingly, decided to continue. “Snap appointments, constant overtime, terrible working conditions – you do realize that, Ma’am.”
“Cheerie was once a babysitter, you know.”
“So you do realize the impetus behind their picket – their self-proclaimed need to get suitable compensation and recognition for their troubles… ”
Perhaps it was the heat that was making the politician’s fuse shorter than usual. “I know.”
Perhaps it was also the heat that was encouraging Crimson Ribbon to press on with his little lesson. “And you must thus also realize the TCU’s fear of anything that could undermine their bargaining power… ”
I give up. “Mm-hmm.”
“And so we need to make sure that we negotiate a fair deal- “
“Shame! Shame! Shame!”
“Oh!” the Mayor could not have been more relieved to see the noisy picket line in front of Ponyville’s bakery. “We’re here!”
Parting through the increasingly thickening crowd, Mayor Mare reached the barrier of teenage fillies who, hoof-to-hoof, barred the way to the entrance to Sugarcube Corner. “Pay us fair! Show you care!”
Mayor Mare went up to the lines. “Mayor Mare,” she informed the picketer closest to her. “Can you let us in for the negotiations?”
Junebug scrunched up her face. “What took you so long, huh?” she spat in disgust. “Still think we just watch TV and talk about colts?”
“What- I- “ the tan pony let her lower jaw slacken in mock horror. “I would never think such horrible thoughts!”
Junebug was unconvinced. “Hmph,” she said, tilting her head up arrogantly and stepping out to one side. “Go on in.”
*
Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville
Mayor Mare waited until the wooden door slammed shut. “Kids these days,” she muttered in disgust.
“What did you say?” a voice – definitively not Crimson Ribbon – replied to her back.
The tan pony spun round, hastily plastering a shaky smile on her face. “Oh, nothing, nothing!” she quickly corrected herself. “So nice to see you!”
The pale white pony narrowed her eyes, extending her hoof nonetheless. “Twinkleshine, Mayor,” she introduced herself briskly. “Rep’ for the TCU.”
“T…CU?” Mayor Mare stuttered. Crimson Ribbon beside her facehoofed.
Twinkleshine’s eyes narrowed even further. “Temporary Childcare Union, Mayor,” she emphasized each word in that annoying teenage way. “I guess we’re not important enough for you to remember our names… ”
“Oh no no no, Ms. Twinkleshine!” the bespectacled mare gripped onto her interlocutor’s hoof and shook it over-enthusiastically. “I just had a bit of an itch on my nose, that’s all, that’s all!”
“Hmph. Sure,” the pink-maned pony rolled her eyes as she stepped a few paces away from this wild reception. But back to business. “Anyway, Mrs. Cake and I here were just wrapping up the discussions over Pinkie Pie’s status. Pinkie Pie joins the TCU, and we end the picket around Sugarcube Corner.”
The tan pony let out a sigh of relief. “Phew!” she sighed. “I’m glad you’ve managed to sort this out like proper adults. So nice to see the Babysitters’ Union- “
Twinkleshine cleared her throat audibly. “Excuse me, Mayor,” she interjected. “It’s the TCU, not the Babysitters’ Union. And we’ve only reached an understanding with Sugarcube Corner. We haven’t started with you yet.”
Darn it, why can’t things EVER be easy?
The TCU Representative continued. “Mayor, we work hard in terrible conditions just for a measly sum. And even now, you want to undercut and cheat us hardworking fillies by importing un-unionized labor?”
“Of course not!” the bespectacled mare was falling back to more defensible positions. “But, Ms. Twinkleshine, you understand that Equestrian law doesn’t allow you to coerce non-unionized ponies into joining your Union!”
Wrong response. Twinkleshine let that implication sink into the minds of all ponies present. “Are you threatening us with prosecution, Mayor?”
Uh oh. “Oh, no no no! That is the last thing on my mind- “
“You know the TCU can escalate, Mayor; you know we can,” the ivory pony growled.
“No no no!” the tan pony’s defensive positions were fast being overrun as Crimson Ribbon could only look sullenly on. “I didn’t mean that, Ms. Twinkleshine; I really didn’t!”
Twinkleshine stared long and hard at her political adversary. “We want to introduce strict regulations for being a babysitter, Mayor. Only the most dedicated and compassionate of ponies will be allowed to take care of other younglings.”
Mayor Mare nodded, perceiving that it was better to act benevolently non-committal than to pester her interlocutor with legal clarifications.
“Obviously,” the pink-maned pony took pains to emphasize, “only as expert an organization as the TCU should have the credentials to decide which ponies have the prerequisite attributes for babysitting.”
The gray-maned pony was going to have a serious talk with Cheerilee about not teaching fillies about legal wizardry.
“We also want a guaranteed raise in wages. Like around 5% per annum,” the TCU representative demanded. “Trust me, that’s not nearly enough compensation for changing soiled baby diapers.”
The Mayor gulped. 5% per annum, regardless of whatever economic conditions were prevailing? That could spell trouble for her popularity – or, somewhat less importantly, Ponyville’s budget. “Umm… ”
“’Umm’ what, Mayor?” Twinkleshine maneuvered aggressively. “Don’t you dare try and weasel out of this!”
“No, no, Ms. Twinkleshine!” the bespectacled mare found herself uttering those defeatist words again. Oh, anything to make this look like less of a complete rout! “We just want… we just want to… “ she looked desperately at Crimson Ribbon for deliverance.
Her subordinate obliged. “You understand we can’t just make these snap decisions on a whim, Ms. Twinkleshine,” he commented. “After all, you don’t want us reneging on your deals because of prior commitments, do you?”
“Pfft. I guessed it. That’s the kind of thing you ponies always do- “
“I’m trying to help here. We just don’t know if agreeing to any of these things will violate the law. After all, you want to see these changes made permanent, don’t you?”
“Well of course we do!” Twinkleshine exclaimed indignantly.
The Secretary for Administration smiled. “Then you’ll need to give us some time to look this over, Ms. Twinkleshine.”
*
Outside Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville
“I’ll go back and make a preliminary report on the TCU’s proposed plan,” Crimson Ribbon said as he exited the bakery. “I’m guessing you want to talk to the ponies out here. And for the last time, it’s not the Babysitters’ Union.”
“Sure, sure,” Mayor Mare nodded. “They’d better lift the picket line soon- “
“Mayor!” Twilight Sparkle cantered up to her political mentor. “How are things with the babysitters? Is Pinkie Pie alright? Oh, I’m sure she didn’t mean it, Mayor, I swear by Celestia- “
“She’s fine, Ms. Sparkle,” the tan pony patted her reassuringly. “They’ve sorted it out. We’ve sorted it all out. Now we just need to… “ the politician let her voice drift away as her ears pricked up in concentration.
“Oh, that’s great news, Mayor!” Twilight clapped her hooves happily to an unhearing pony. “And so what are you going to do now…?”
The rest of the magical unicorn’s words were lost to Mayor Mare. All she could hear were words of a much unhappier nature.
“What is the problem with these ponies? I want my pastries NOW!”
“By Celestia, if this goes on for longer, Market Square is going to get clogged up by this stupid strike!”
“I mean, I’m sure their cause is a good one, but this extremist action is wayy over the top!”
“… Ma’am? MAYOR!” Twilight Sparkle was waving a concerned hoof in front of the tan pony. “What’s going on? You totally zoned out!”
“Huh?” the gray-maned pony shook her head. “Oh, I was just thinking of something… I know what to do now, Ms. Sparkle.”
“Oh, really?” the purple pony stared in rapt anticipation. “I just know it’s going to be good, Mayor!”
Mayor Mare smiled in diabolical anticipation. “I will… ” She let the tension build up. “ …reject the babysitters’ new demands!”
The magical mare’s eyes widened, though probably not in amazement at such a brilliant masterstroke. “W-what?!” she stuttered incredulously. “But Mayor, you’re going to make them strike!”
“And that’s the clever plan!” the tan pony brought her hooves together in celebration of her own genius. “You see how annoyed these ponies are at this little picket? Well, can you imagine how ticked off they would be if this escalated into a full-blown strike?”
“B-but… ” Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure how clueless she should imagine her mentor to be. “They’ll be mad at you, Mayor!”
The gray-maned mare chuckled, tapping Equestria’s savior condescendingly on the head. “Not if I make the Babysitters’ Union take ownership of the strike, Ms. Sparkle!” she revealed. “I’ll reject their demands publicly and force them to react!”
“I- “ at least the whole affair now made more sense to the magical pony. But still- “are ponies going to suffer because you want to make a political point, Mayor?”
“I beg your pardon: it’s more than just a political point!” Mayor Mare scolded. “The government can’t be held to ransom like this! Are we going to cave into every demand if the alternative is strike action?”
“Well, I… ” the unicorn had to admit to herself, she didn’t know enough about this whole babysitting business to make an informed opinion. Some studying and research was in order. “I’m still not convinced. But I see your point.”
Mayor Mare couldn’t resist patronizing Twilight again. “You’ll see the truth soon enough, little filly,” she cooed.
*
Ponyville Broadcasting Station, Ponyville
The Mayor was getting to the end of her speech. “… and that is why, fillies and gentlecolts!” She shook a combative foreleg for emphasis. “That is why we need to fight the unreasonable demands of the Babysitters’ Union! They have pushed too far this time round with their wage increases and monopolistic guarantees! Ponyvillians, we need to send the babysitters a strong message through our solidarity: we will not be taken hostage!”
The broadcasting light switched off. “Stirring words, Mayor,” the station head remarked as he removed his earphones. “I’m sure Ponyville got your message, loud and clear.”
Mayor Mare smiled. “Thanks, Mr. Scratch,” she said as she left the room to talk to-
“What the hay are you DOING!” an enraged Cheerilee stuck her head in front of the Mayor, a seated Crimson Ribbon sinking his head between his hooves behind her. “You think this is some darned JOKE!”
The tan pony turned defensive. “And that is why I always keep my political plans a secret from you, Cheerilee!” she yelled back. “You never see the value of what I’m doing!”
“What, I- “ the face on the schoolteacher’s face was rapidly darkening. “You know what? I don’t even why I vote for you. You’re an idiot, I swear to Celestia… ”
“Please, both of you,” two strong hooves came between feuding mother and daughter as the Secretary for Administration separated them. “Let’s not escalate any further.”
The steadying effect of a stranger had an effect on the brewing storm. Both mares took a deep breath and stepped back from the brink, still regarding each other with frosty glares not seen since rebellious years.
Crimson Ribbon turned towards his superior, a look of disappointment written all over his face. “You could have informed me of what you were going to do, Mayor,” he groaned softly. “I daresay this speech has been a major faux pas on your part.”
“Urgh!” the tan pony threw her forelegs up in the air. “Look, unlike you unelected officials, I need to show the voters that I’m not afraid of picking a fight when Ponyville’s interests are at stake! What the babysitters are demanding is clearly unjustified!”
Cheerilee facehoofed in despair. “Oh, by Celestia, she still thinks… oh, you are a- “
“Ms. Cheerilee,” the gray stallion cautioned. He turned back to Mayor Mare, shaking his head in pure exasperation. “Ma’am, you think this is just about the babysitters’, don’t you.”
The bespectacled mare didn’t get what was so wrong here. “Well, sure. They’re the ones who are making the demands… “
“The TCU isn’t just babysitters, Mom,” Cheerilee interrupted.
“... and I don’t mean any- “ Uh oh. “What.”
“TCU. Temporary Childcare Union. It’s a Federation of Trade Unions, of which the Babysitters’ Union is only one.”
Silence as Mayor Mare imagined her metaphorical jaw hitting the floor. It was just as painful as the real thing.
“Well,” she whispered, voice resonating around the deathly-quiet hallway. “Who else is in the TCU, then?”
Cheerilee held her spinning head and groaned in despair.
“Any labor organization to do with temporary childcare,” Crimson Ribbon carefully elaborated. “Teachers. Nurses. Doctors. You’ve just declared war on all of them.”
The tan pony’s heart flopped limply onto the linoleum. “B-but then, the TCU were threatening Ponyville with a strike. That’s clearly holding us to ransom… ”
“Each Union decides whether they want to join in or not in practice,” the cerise mare’s muffled voice emerged from behind her forelegs. “And we don’t usually co-ordinate that well, precisely because the impact would be so big on Ponyville.”
More silence.
“We’d… we’d better call the T-TCU back up, then,” a sweating Mayor Mare stammered.
“We should.” Crimson Ribbon headed for a nearby phone. “What terms are you offering?”
“T-terms? Oh, terms. Any terms. Anything to get me out of here!” the Mayor howled in agony.
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Most excellent! Sigh... makes me wonder why I should vote for the Mayor. Lesser of two evils?
So... All the babysitters in Equestria have business licenses and pay taxes on their wages?
3053939 Well I was thinking more on the lines of the Babysitters' Union being a simple-ish organization to make sure their members don't get unfairly shafted by their employers (doesn't necessarily mean they have to pay taxes). They didn't have business licenses before, but after this episode, all potential sitters will probably have to have one.
Obviously something like that wouldn't happen on Earth
. Please bear with the strange intricacies of Equestrian labor policy
3054170 i find baby sitters having unions ridiculous
baby sitting is normally a part time job or just a charity unless those ponies are maids or like what in the fic said doctors, nurses, teachers etc
you researching abilities are astronomical! have you even had a thesis? you must've master class googlefu to find all this instances of political shitstorms
3060386 You are right; a Babysitter's Union does sound ridiculous. But it's not illogical. You could think up a backstory where, for example, a terrible scandal involving babysitters' working conditions brings the whole issue to light in Equestria, which causes ponies to demand some way of ensuring standards/pay levels for babysitters - thereby providing the necessary impulse to form said Union.
Thanks. I'm just a fresh graduate who studied politics and has always been very interested in politics, geography and history - 9/11 happened when I was 10, and the Iraq War was a key memory from my teens. Also I live in Hong Kong, which is really one of the more political cities in the world nowadays (still got nothing on Cairo).
Some of the MLP episodes really got me searching my mind for relevant issues though. The last three episodes were particularly hard because they didn't really concern the government (on the surface, anyway)
.
3060521 perhaps babysitter's union was formed because of many ponies with child care related cutie marks? and somepony apparently wanted to monopolize it? ( at least that's how i think it normally goes)
shit man i love geography! political intrigue gives me chills but political classes must be murder since its a battle of silver tongues, information and wits and REAL political stuff for that matter
3060537 Well I was thinking that babysitting was just a thing that most teenage fillies did to earn some money, and maybe some ponies got short-changed/taken for granted by some heartless employers and so they decided to unionize to protect themselves. At least, usually that's how trade unions first start off.
Ahem, if you think political classes is about learning what politicians do, well... don't apply to study politics in university and study history instead. Academic politics is more about learning how governing structures incentivize politicians to act in a certain way.
For example, basic thing in politics is learning about Duverger's Law. which basically says that first-past-the-post election systems lead to two parties alternating in power (like the USA). So whatever they do, the structure of the election system encourages politicians to divide into two large parties in order to gain maximum votes. That's it. What individual politicians do doesn't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things.
3060574 so political classes study politician's behavior?
because i have no idea what some of what you just
3062274 Basically, political classes nowadays teach about how the 'system' helps encourage politicians to do certain things.
3062830 ah
Trust me when I say I'd love to believe that's true. But the Republicans seem to have found congressional loopholes that allow them to use the fillbuster to block anything that's not 100% what they want. Until we wise up and limit the amount of filbustering and impose Congressional term limits those Republicans will just keep doing the same stuff. Even if they destroy their approval rating (it currently sits at 26%, lower then Obama.)