its Sirius

2446698 Thanks It must have slipped my and my editors minds.

2446721
There's quite a number of punctuation and capitalization errors. You might want a new editor, because your current one doesn't seem to be doing their job.

2446787 I rushed into getting the first chapter done and didn't give him a chance. Should I just take it down or edit it now. He did the prologue and half of chapter 1. He's also a great writer.

Whether you take it down or just fix it later is up to you. Though you might lose some potential readers if their first time reading the story is full of mistakes. Editing needs some time to happen, and rushing it isn't a very good idea.

2446843 I did reread my chapter one, it wasn't that bad because I couldn't find much problems. Do you mean my grammer or maybe I have my " " 's are set up? Thats were i have the most problem. But besides that the read doesn't seem to difficult, I've read stories with worse punctuation then this one and was still able to enjoy it.

Thanks for the feed back

Your grammar, your spelling, your tendency to not always capitalize I or I'm, your frequent skipping of punctuation at at the end of quotes, a bunch of small things.

You really don't ever want to leave spelling and grammar checks up to yourself, since you'll miss stuff you think is right but isn't.

I'd say to copy/paste the chapters into Microsoft Word and let its spellcheck help you out then you can edit some bits that you intentionally want to keep.

2447160 thanks, that will save me a lot of time

>grammatical error in title
>description in title (why?)
>self-proclaimed greatness
Could use work

2447160
>it's
And here's a great example of why relying on spell-check is a bad idea

2449457
I never said I used it for comments now did I. Just a small typo, yeesh. :L

2449457 Self proclaimed greatness? I', not trying I'm saying I'm new and un-experiences. I'm not trying to act like I'm great and I don't even think I'm that great. If your talking about the story, the only part that might be doing that is Josh when he was messing around
-thanks for the feed back

2450820
>"it has a great story"
-davster1209

2451283 O, ok that. I ment it wasn't a pure clop and it had a unusually long story line mixed with clop here and there. I hope that clears up any suspicion of being egotistic.

Its a good story keep up the good work bro

2456603 Thanks for the first positive

I'm actualy eager for next chapter...sure, your grammar isn't perfect, but that doesn't mean it's a bad story.

2467090 Finally someone wanted to read my story, I thought everyone hated my story

2467537 Of course, just because a story has some spelling errors, and grammar mistakes, doesn't mean it's bad. This isn't a site for professional writers, just like youtube isn't for professional filmmakers.

2473753 *slow clap

DAS! I missed it. I meant to read when it came out but ended up getting sidetracked like I usually do (Isn't that a surprise huh?) Indeed a very good story, probably better then most of the crap I write yet for some reason the crap I write gets on the front page and I just sit there and think 'Fuck... this is not gonna end well.'

I would just take out Josh he sounds like a guy who would just take advatage of Rainbow or twilight and that would end the friendship between him and the main charater. I'd have his family move so it less of a berden.

On second thaught the police should get Josh for possion of drugs. Its alot faster than him moving and with teens like them that think there worthless wast of space they would do stuff like that.

2494112 I'm going to keep josh around he's to important to the story

2500931 Sounds good.

My favorite part is when Cyrus tries to fix his noes! "I know what to do, I've seen this on TV." I laughed my ass off at that.
My second favorite is when Twilight and Dash jump into his bed in their underwear because of the storm.

He cuddled with 2 girls

Wait, I thought they're bronies, why wouldn't they both know about Twilight and Rainbow? Doesn't that contradict what you wrote on the prologue?

Oh, sorry if I nitpick too much. I mean it's a goddamn clopfic. Who gives a shit?!

But that's just confuses me...