Equestia's Unsolved Case Files

by Silverstreak

The Crime....Again

The reporter did the head count for the third time. Making sure that all of the ponies on the list was there. He wanted so badly to kill Jack over the last two days for the two days they spent in Ponyville. questioning ponies who weren't even on the list. Only Pinkie and Twilight were on it...He stopped in front of Derpy.

"Hi mister."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize."

"For kicking me?''

"No."

"Why not!"

"You tried to sneak up on me!"

"Not you! Your muffinbag you stupid pony."

Derpy spun-kicked him again, knocking him to Luna's feet. Pinkie laughed at the reporter's face.

"See Derpy I told you Rainbow Dash could teach you karate."

"Oh yeah, I meant to thank you Pinkie."

"You're welcome."

"Ow."

A thud came from the door as Jack slammed into it running full sprint. Opening the door Jack held her nose with her fingers, rolling her eyes.

"Ok, no blood. Good." She walked in front of the suspects naming them all off in her mind.

Twilight, Pinkie, Luna, Derpy...Sidekick?

The reporter got up and found Jack looking down on him.

"What?'' He pointed to Derpy, "She kicked me!"

"You tried to sneak up on me!"

"Two days ago!"

"That doesn't matter! Like my mommy use to say..."

Jack held up her hands to both of their faces.

"Derpy I'm sure your mother had many a wise things to say, but right now I have a murder to solve, and a mystery to solve."

Pinkie jumped into the air.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, me, me, me, me, me!"

"Sit Pinkie."

Pinkie sat hooves planted, and her back straight.

"Ok, Derpy."

"Yes."

"Why are you here?"

"I came to apologize.''

"For what?''

"Running out on you."

Jack was at a lost with Derpy, but decided to roll with it to get on with her plan.

"Well then thank you."

"You're welcomed."

"Now sidekick."

"Quit calling me that!"

"Whatever. Are you ready?"

Jack turned and walked to the balcony doors.

"Ready for this to be over." The reporter muttered as he followed.

Jack turned back to the row of suspects, and Derpy who was staring at the floor.

"Alright. Now as you all know Princess Celestia was attacked and killed in this room."

Twilight lifted her hoof.

"Yes Twilight."

"She was killed in a cave below the city wall."

"So?''

"Well you want to be accurate for the recorded, right?"

"Twilight, the recorded is already set. This is just a test."

"What kind of test?"

"Not now Twilight. Sidekick to the pool of blood."

The reporter looked at the old, crusty blood stain.

"Why hasn't it been cleaned yet?''

"It's evidence."

"But..."

"No buts! Go!"

"But...''

"Now sidekick."

"Why me."

The reporter walked over to the blood stain, looked regretfully back to Jack, closed his eyes, held his breath, and laid face down into the stain. Jack walked over to the reporter while facing the line.

"Now from the evidence in this room, Celestia was attacked," Jack pointed to the messed up bed, "The attacker and Celestia fought for a time until Celestia was laying down right on this spot," Jack put her left foot onto the reporter's back, causing him to grunt, "The attacker ripped off Celestia's wings causing her to go into shock, and dragged her to the balcony." Jack dragged the reporter to the balcony, the line followed, "Celestia fought for a little bit, causing the pots to smash and break. Then the attacker manage to throw Celestia over the rail."

"Woah! Wait!"

Jack lifted the reporter shoulder height, spun in a circle with the reporter screaming. She stepped on a piece of a pot, slipped, and both her and the reporter flew over the railing, screaming all the way down. Everyone stood with shock, staring at the railing.

"Uh...Did that?''

"Yes Princess."

"And they?''

"Yes."

Pinkie brought a hoof to her chin.

"I wonder how human taste."

"Pinkie!"

"What, Derpy!"

"I have a letter for you."