Equestia's Unsolved Case Files

by Silverstreak

The Crime

Hearst and hooves day. A time for love, a time for joy. A time for murder?

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Canterlot Castle
8 p.m.

"So you're a guard for the princesses right?"

"Yes sir, Captain Firebolt of the royal guards."

"Can you tell us what you found earlier today?"

"Well lets see," Firebolt rubbed a hoof across his chin, "I entered Celestia's room around noon for her lunch meeting with a diplomat from Saddle Arabia. The door leading to the balcony was opened, some red stuff was on the floor, and her bed was a mess."

"So no sign of the princess?"

"Hey look pal, what the princess does on her own time is her own business."

"What no...no, I meant you didn't see her."

"Well of course not, if I did she'd be at her meeting right now."

The reporter sagged his head down in despair.

"Listen, just tell me what you saw and did, after you enter her room."

"Well lets see, opened the door, red stuff, messy bed...oh yes. I walked onto the balcony to see broken pots, some white feathers, and a weird burn mark."

"So do you have any ideas on where Celestia is?"

"Yeah she's in the crystal caves."

"And have you retrieved her body?"

"OH good heavens no!"

"Why not?"

"It's a dead body! No one can get close enough with out vomiting out their guts!"

"So how do you know it's Celestia?"

"Her main was flowing."

The reporter was completely dumb founded.

"How...how do you know it was Celestia if you can't get close to it."

"Because of the humans. Duh!"