Private Porkchop's Portal Problem

by Mustache Pig

Bright Beginnings

Our story begins on a small asteroid, inhabited by a group of small green sphere-bodied pigs living in small house-like structures. But this is merely a front for a more technologically advanced truth! Merely feet below the surface of the space rock, a giant room with a large machine rests, with pig scientists manning the equipment, and pig engineers working on the machine in the center of the room. What is this colossal contraption's purpose, you ask? Why, it's a cloning machine! When completed, the "Pig Bang Project" will be able to resurrect a dead piggy to full healthy condition in the time-span of a mere second! I won't bore you with the details, but all you need to know is that the Angry Birds, the mortal enemy of the pigs, don't like it. Which is, of course, why there were sirens suddenly going off in the lab. The lone guard, Porkchop, called the scientists to attention.

"Alright, alright, calm down, everyone! I'll go see what's causing trouble on the surface," said Porkchop as he activated the surface elevator.

Upon reaching the surface, Porkchop's smug grin was replaced with a look of pure horror. Flocks of furious fowls were falling onto pigs, homes, and everything in between. Porkchop quickly pressed the button to activate the elevator again and descended back into the laboratory.

Porkchop, with a calm face, observed his fellow pigs. He exhaled, then "calmly" stated,

"They're heeeere! The Angry Birds! They're everywhere! Run while you still can!"

The scientists and engineer pigs looked at one-another (screamed like madmen), then proceeded (hopped like crazy) to the escape pods in an orderly manner (un-orderly manner).

As Porkchop began to follow them, a rumble was heard. Pipes and other apparatus began popping, exploding, and making not-good noises. After a good few seconds of that, a purple vortex appeared in the machine and began sucking things in the room, namely Porkchop, into it.

Porkchop was not having a good day.

First he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, then he was late for the Bubble Bus, and now he was stuck in-between dimensions, or something. After ten minutes of watching various random objects such as a phone booth fly by, he floated into a bright light, and blacked out.

Porkchop slowly opened his eyes and looked around him. He seemed to be in a forest, and a dark and spooky one at that.

A canopy of dark green leaves blocked sunlight. The trees almost seemed to have menacing faces on them. Even the grass seemed to have malicious intentions. Porkchop searched desperately for a way out of this leaf-y purgatory. His eyes fell on a dirt path.

"Not exactly what I wanted, but it'll have to do," Porkchop thought to himself.

Porkchop began hopping along the path, his eyes darting from side to side occasionally when he heard a strange noise. After traveling along the path for what seemed like hours, he finally came upon an exit out of the forest. Porkchop grinned and started hopped happily up to the threshold, and his grin widened when he noticed a town! Civilization!

He looked to his right and noticed a sign.

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

Comments

[Sky Breeze]

Phone booth...PHONE BOOTH! WHY NO POLICE BOX?