I thought that after their arrival, they will be misunderstood and Iron will be killed and Thunderbird's life is barely saved by Fleur. This... is better.
That being said... (Criticism incoming) I think you could have explained the situation, (I, myself, don't really mind the wait if it's really good, ie. unlike assassins creed revelations.) And make Iron abut more persistent and make him mattered. Cause when he was mentioned, I had a bad feeling (no pun intended) of him. But it did go away with logical reasoning but came back when I accidentally scrolled too far into the comments (on mobile device). Good job anyway. A really good (and long) chapter.
His background will most likely be explored a bit more in an upcoming chapter. I had also intended to sneak in some small hints or tells, but then I realized that if he really is one of Ray's elite, wouldn't he be able to do something simple like hiding his true mission? So I scrapped the hints.
Remember, your initial gut feeling is usually always right.
Did you really have to kill Thunderbird off like that? Then again,Thunder may not be dead since Iron didn't really confirmed the kill, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
2717872 *wink* anyways, i freaked out when i saw this had come out and i refused to wait to get home so i read it on my phone in math class, BEST. MATH CLASS. EVAR!!!!!!!!! i really want to stab iron rook repeatedly in the chest with a ladle for obvious reasons, iron knocking thundy upside the head is not what surprised me, what REALLY surprised me was the little fluer/T-bird fellatio session. great chapter, loved it, thanks for giving my main man, err, griffon, lots of screen time. the iron using rock throw and it being super effective part did NOT amuse me
That traitorous bastard!! I figured after Luna warned Soarin about how some of them could have been loyal traitors some griffon was going to sneak in. Dammit, I'm sad to see Thunderbird die like that. You shall be avenged at some point, hopefully.
webmemes.org(crying)
Iron Rook...
I shall send Richard after you!
i.imgur.com/FkFoPPQ.jpg
thank you for new part
First clop series where after reading this i had depression(very emotional)
Why!? Why must there always be a twist!?
I thought that after their arrival, they will be misunderstood and Iron will be killed and Thunderbird's life is barely saved by Fleur. This... is better.
That being said...
(Criticism incoming)
I think you could have explained the situation, (I, myself, don't really mind the wait if it's really good, ie. unlike assassins creed revelations.)
And make Iron abut more persistent and make him mattered. Cause when he was mentioned, I had a bad feeling (no pun intended) of him. But it did go away with logical reasoning but came back when I accidentally scrolled too far into the comments (on mobile device).
Good job anyway. A really good (and long) chapter.
2716521
His background will most likely be explored a bit more in an upcoming chapter. I had also intended to sneak in some small hints or tells, but then I realized that if he really is one of Ray's elite, wouldn't he be able to do something simple like hiding his true mission? So I scrapped the hints.
Remember, your initial gut feeling is usually always right.
2716556 I see what you mean. Anyway, back to testing.
Wow, introducing a good character, then kill him off mercilessly and unceremoniously... George R. R. Martin would be proud
Did you really have to kill Thunderbird off like that? Then again,Thunder may not be dead since Iron didn't really confirmed the kill, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
Nice chapter unfortunatly I didn't like you killing off Thunderbird.
I liked every bit of this chapter until Thunderbird was killed off...
But still a good chapter nonetheless! Nice job dude!
2717664>>2717663>>2717192>>2717859
I have a secret...
And only one other person knows it.
2717872 You're mean...
2717872 *wink*
anyways, i freaked out when i saw this had come out and i refused to wait to get home so i read it on my phone in math class, BEST. MATH CLASS. EVAR!!!!!!!!!
i really want to stab iron rook repeatedly in the chest with a ladle for obvious reasons, iron knocking thundy upside the head is not what surprised me, what REALLY surprised me was the little fluer/T-bird fellatio session. great chapter, loved it, thanks for giving my main man, err, griffon, lots of screen time.
the iron using rock throw and it being super effective part did NOT amuse me
2718325
Figured I'd give him some enjoyment before being brained like that.
Again, perfect type of OC character I was looking for.
2718358 woo!
2715810
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE
You know, when Thunderbird was introduced, I immediately thought "A nice guy on THIS story? Yeah, he'll either die or just get fucked over..."
I guess I was right.
2725419 stahp being right, do you know how hard it is to find an antisexual griffon at this time of night!?
2732723
Eh, if Camel's comments are anything to go by ("I have a secret"), he'll live.
2732912
Or maybe that's what I wanted you to think, thus my actual idea would not be expected at all whatsoever!
or you could be right.
I dunno...
guess I gotta write the next chapter to see who's right.
*reads the part where Iron Rook betrays Thunderbird*
Yup, called it.
That traitorous bastard!! I figured after Luna warned Soarin about how some of them could have been loyal traitors some griffon was going to sneak in. Dammit, I'm sad to see Thunderbird die like that. You shall be avenged at some point, hopefully.
~SolidFire