Chaos is in the Eye of the Beholder

by MaeceusMan

The Contest

--An important message from Discord--

A Chaos and its mind are soon parted.

These words were once told to me by my future self when I was a baby, though both of those me are now in my past.

I said it because I remembered hearing myself say it. I remember myself saying it because I said it.

This is called a closed loop. It is a consequence of time travel. But specifically, time travel to the past. And more specifically, time travel to the past that does not create a paradox.

However, I am Discord. If you have read my blog this past year, you may recall three things I have previously said.

1. I am chaos.

2. If I do something, it does not cause a paradox, because I'm Discord.

3. A paradox is a great example of chaos.

What this all means is quite simple, though hard to accept. I, Discord, am a paradox.

I tell you all this, dear readers, because I want you all to understand two things.

1. I follow this advice I once gave myself because I remember myself giving it to myself, which I gave to myself because I remember hearing myself tell it to myself and thinking it good advice, which is of course why I told it to myself.

2. I can't exist, therefore I strive to have all around me acknowledge that I do exist.

Unfortunately, I received exactly zero comments from anypony, anyHUMAC, or anyanything in this last month.

On top of that, I received 1/3 of the total new reads that the previous post earned. Even after you remove my zombie hoard and their work, that is still pathetic.

This makes me a sad chaos.

So, after much soul searching, I have decided to make some changes. I hope this was the right choice. If not, too bad, no snakes for you!

First off, I am freeing/releasing/feeding beans to all my zombies and lawyers and accountants.

Secondly, I am bringing all those who commented to me back from the dead, or back from the dead to me, or back from in hiding.

Thirdly, I am apologizing formally to Octavia for the chaos cookie incident, and to Vinyl Scratch for lying to her face on her own show. My bad.

Fourthly, If a message is so long that it counts for half of the words of my entire blog post, cough cough, Word Bearer, cough cough, I will cite it in my blog, but not post the entire thing. The word count should not be misleading, and in that case, I think it was.

And finally, I have returned to my home dimension, where Eris has become friends with Luna, which has put Celestia in a good enough mood to lift my current not banishment.

Hopefully all of these changes will bring back the viewership this blog once had, and maybe, just maybe, we can rally a new hoard of zom-count-yers to once and for all earn this blog a place of honor as a feature!

And no, I am not apologizing to MaeceusMan, he knew the risks when he started as my typist...

So, with all that out of the way, on with the blog!

--End important message--

Goooooooooooood Evening Equestria!!!!!!

Discord here, coming to you loud and proud from a sealed bunker deep under a mountain! And in the future!

Not just a few hours in the future like with my Viewapolooza by the way, I am a good few weeks ahead of you all right now, having just finished recording the season 4 finale of my show! And it was awesome!

I realize this seems like an odd time to be writing you all from, seeing as how I could just as easily written you all from the present you will see this appear in, but I figured this should be more fun. Especially if we change the future!

Yay!

Okay, so here's the plan, ponies, bronies, and of course, REDACTED.

I am going to tell you all about the end of this season of the show, and all that went down in it.

I am going to spoil every plot point, the REDACTED, and even the REDACTED, despite that really just being speculation so far for season 5. Rainbow Rocks, is of course, REDACTED, so I won't even bother REDACTED.

I will tell you what happened to me when I faced the REDACTED, like Princess Celestia asked, and why Princess Twilight REDACTED so much REDACTED despite the obvious problems that would cause with REDACTED.

Then, there was the REDACTED. They had to REDACTED before the REDACTED started to REDACTED. If only they had thought to use the REDACTED. I mean seriously. REDACTED? Why not just REDACTED?

But in the end, it all was REDACTED, so I guess that means that we are all REDACTED. REDACTED!

But here's the thing, Equestria of the past. I am chaos. And I want more chaos. So I will replace all those spoilers with the word REDACTED. Perhaps you noticed.

I am doing this for two reasons. One, to teach you all a lesson for ignoring me and not giving me juicy new comments to respond to, and two, to give you all something to comment to me about!

That's right, Equestrians! It's a fun new game! We will be playing, "Guess how Season 4 of the show ended and what I did in it by replacing REDACTED with what you think happened at the end of the season in your future which is now my past!"

It's a working title...

You don't have to follow my formula if you don't want to, and I still welcome other comments and questions from anypony. Actually, yeah, I'll even allow the HUMACs in on this if they insist.

Seriously, I haven't gotten a single 'Discord is Awesome' in so long, I'm beginning to suspect my computer is broken.

My favorite predictions of the season finale, (not necessarily or even actually the real ending), will get umm...I dunno, prizes I guess? Ummm... how about a lifetime supply of ceiling snakes and chaos cookies?

Or, insult immunity? Or...

Oh, I know! How about I personally insult a friend/enemy/family member of your choosing in my own, creative way? You provide some info on them, and let me do the rest! I'm actually giving insults away! Everypony wins!

Or if you prefer, I can let you choose the topic of my next post.

Finally, if you want, I would be more than happy to bring on anypony, anydragon, anyzebra, anygriffin, or anybeaver I know from the show as my special guest! You saw how well my session on The Vinyl Scratch and Octavia show went, just imagine me in a rap battle with Zecora, or attempting to convince Pinkie Pie to join the chaos side!

I look forward to reading your submissions, which have been sitting in my inbox for a month now because this is definitely the future where I am typing this from and not your present. Because if it was, that would make this some kind of lame attention seeking publicity stunt, and I think we all know I am not the kind of chaos who would ever do such a thing, right?

Let the contest begin! Or, you know, end, when I am.

You have until May 10th. / Today is May 10th, stop entering your contest entries!

Go! / Stop!

Author's Note:

Seriously, after May 10th, no more serious entries will be accepted, since you will all already know the real answers. Only wrong / funny answers will be accepted after that point. No more entries will actually be accepted when Discord gets around to posting the results, which, knowing him, could be a while. If you win, MaeceusMan will PM you on Discord's behalf, so as to protect you from further chaos exposure. Please inform MaeceusMan in your reply as to your preferred prize. The remaining prizes will be distributed to lower places in order, until we either run out of prizes or contest entrants. Hopefully prizes. Please let your friends (or enemies if you hope to insult them) know about this blog, and thanks for tuning in Equestria!

This has been a MaeceusMan production. The voice of Discord is/was/will be provided by Discord at some point in time, maybe. All other voices are still just in your head. One entry per pony. Void where prohibited. No Hablo Español.

Don't Feed the Trolls; Feed the Chaos!

Comments

[Voltrasin]

Greetings my great and powerful lord of Chaos! It is I, Voltrasin! The Lady of Lunitics, your most dedicated follower. I apologize for not being able to comment on your last post, but after reading your posts for so long , I have begun to change. My mind is warping into a thing of chaos and I Love every second of it. I can't stop thinking about chaos, even now, as I type I am finding it increasingly difficult to restrain my inner thoughts or else I may offend you in some way. Oh! I just had a marvelous idea for a prank you could pull on Celestia. Turn her into a stallion and make Luna insanely in love with the new "Prince Solaris". Then just sit back and watch. Perhaps you can throw Twilight into the mix. I doubt you would have to do anything to her, one look at her dear mentor in that state and she'll fall head over hooves for him.

What do you think, my lord?

[Valhuir]

I already entered the contest, but then I encountered myself, and I told me that I couldn't use my entry, because it ends up that, since I am not Discord, I ended up causing a space-time hiccup that erased the entire eastern seaboard of the United States, as well as AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPLE-oosa.

Sorry.

[clubbzz]

Chaos is a beautiful thing, truly.

Seriously though, why no emoticon for our great and powerful lord chaos Discord?

[Pen Brush]

I think that They will all become alicorns in the end and season 5 will be all alicorn all the time!

[DarkStarWolf53]

I highly doubt it will happen, but I really hope that in the finale, Discord double-crosses Celestia and the Mane Six, and takes over Equestria.