• Published 19th Mar 2013
  • 2,788 Views, 113 Comments

Chaser - sslacyhadals



Chaser is a pegasus without a cutie mark. He leaves his home on a quest to find himself, his talent, and find acceptance for who he is. Along the way, he learns an age old truth - it isn't what ponies can see on the outside that matters most

  • ...
4
 113
 2,788

Bags, Books, and Bothers

I wasn’t at all sure how I felt as I followed Applejack back into Ponyville that morning. I wasn’t really sure how I was supposed to feel. On the one hoof, I’d made several acquaintances and- I realized with more than a little shock- friends, in the single day I’d been here. On the other, I had a list of as long as my foreleg of problems I had caused for myself. In just twenty-four hours’ time, I had managed to bungle an introduction badly enough to send Fluttershy hurtling into a life-threatening situation, and almost get her killed while trying to make amends; disclose my secret shame to not one, but five ponies, none of whom had responded at all as I had expected; lose my bag, which contained all of my possessions and money; and receive an invite from three fillies to join their exclusive club for ponies without talents. Thinking about it all was causing me a headache that was completely unrelated to the bump on my head.

Back in Snowfall, I had been a social outcast and pariah, but at least I had had some order in my life. Less than a day in Ponyville had thrust me into craziness I’d never dreamed of dealing with. I was beginning to wonder if I could handle this sort of thing in the long-term. I was also wondering if I’d ever actually have time to start trying to discover my talent.

The walk back to town was a short one, now that we had daylight and a good night’s rest on our side, so I didn’t have much time to wonder. I did have time to talk to Applejack, however.

“So... Applejack.” I tried to be casual. “You said it was your turn to help me.”

She grinned. “Sure as shootin’. And that’s just what I intend on doin’.”

“You, uh, never got to mentioning just how you plan on doing that.”

She chuckled as she glanced looked down the road. “I didn’t, did I? Well, what with the fillies in the bushes, I guess I lost my train of thought.” She pointed off into the distance, and I followed her gaze out to a large oak tree out on the west end of town, partially visible over the houses and businesses. “See that tree?”

“Um, Yeah. Is that how you’re gonna help me? With a tree?”

She laughed. “It ain’t just a tree. That there’s the town library.”

“Okay...” I tried to make a connection, but Applejack and books didn’t seem to go anywhere in my brain, except in opposite directions from each other.

“Well, Twilight’s there. You met her last night at the hospital, remember?”

Twilight Sparkle? Oh, I doubted I’d be forgetting her anytime soon. She’d been the one with the dragon assistant. “Yeah,” I replied curtly, “I remember.”

“Well, if anypony can help you find out more about your cutie mark problem, it’s her.”

“Wait, what?” She wanted me to tell more ponies about it? Didn’t she know how hard it was having anypony know about it, let alone one whose assistant I’d tackled the night before? “C-can’t we ease into sharing about that? I-I mean, three fillies, that’s good progress for today, isn’t it?” I was starting to sweat again, and it had nothing to do with the sun on my cloak. “B-Besides, I thought you said it wasn’t a problem.”

“I said it doesn’t make you who you are.” She gave me a big-sister-knows-best look; I could tell she’d had lots of practice at it with Apple Bloom. “That don’t make it less important for you, though, now does it?”

I dropped my gaze to the ground, a little ashamed by the whole conversation. “Well... no. It doesn’t.”

“Well, if there’s any way to help you find your talent, I’ll be a part of it, Sugarcube. And Twilight will, too. You can trust her, I promise.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and looked back up at Applejack. Her eyes spoke nothing except the pure integrity behind them. Besides, how could I not trust her after what had happened this morning on the farm? “Alright. We’ll... talk to Twilight Sparkle about it, I guess.”

Applejack smiled, and nodded, but didn’t say anymore about it. The scenery around us suddenly closed in, as open field and distant tree gave way to ponies and buildings on either side of the path. We had entered Ponyville proper. “Bakery’s not far. We’ll have your bag back to you in no time.”

“Thanks again for this, Applejack.”

“Oh, no need to thank me. I’m just doin’ what any good pony would do.”

We trotted through the streets of the village, taking in the sights and sounds as we went. Applejack was obviously a well-known and loved member of this town, as was evidenced by the number and frequency with which she exchanged greetings with the townsponies. Many of them greeted me as well, but as we ambled by, I heard whispers and snatches of conversations, most of which I couldn’t make out. What I could hear made the hair on the back of my withers stand up; I was sure the words ‘Fluttershy’ and ‘timberwolves’ were uttered more than once as I passed. I shuddered slightly, remembering that I would probably have to spend a good amount of time apologizing to everypony about putting their resident animal caretaker in the hospital.

Sooner than I had expected, we arrived at Sugarcube Corner. The smells of baked treats, and the sounds of ponies enjoying company and delicious goods, could be heard from almost a block away.

Applejack led the way inside, and I followed, noting with some surprise that Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to be there this morning. I decided not to say anything about it to Applejack, mostly because I didn’t want to seem odd for noticing, but also because the tiny, superstitious part of me was unsure if saying her name might summon her like some sort of spirit.

Applejack walked up to the front counter, where a lanky orange earth pony stood, wiping the countertop. “Mornin’ Mr. Cake! How’s business?”

“Oh!” He looked up from the spot he was trying to scrub away, flashing a smile as though he had been waiting for just this greeting. “Good morning, Applejack! Business is good, in no small part thanks to those apples last week for our apple turnover cookies! Are you here for your part of the proceeds?”

“Oh, no. Not for a while, yet. I’m here for my friend, Chaser.” she turned to me and motioned for me to join her at the counter. “Chaser, this is Mr. Cake. Mr. Cake, my good friend, Chaser.”

Good friend? I was a good friend?

“Well, how d’you do, Chaser? Weren’t you in here yesterday,” he said as he eyed my cloak, “with Pinkie Pie? Yeah, and she mentioned something about you yesterday evening, I think... Something about the Everfree forest...”

“Er, yeah!” I really didn’t want to talk about that right now. I was nervous enough as it was. “That was me! I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble when I was here.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Trouble? I don’t remember any trouble, except for Pinkie’s usual antics, and those don’t really qualify. In fact,” he chuckled, “I think the place would be a lot less cheerful without her around to liven things up. Wonder where she is... Anyhow,” he resumed scrubbing the spot on the counter, but kept his gaze levelled at me, “what can I help you with today, Chaser?”

“Uh, well, actually... I think I left something here yesterday. A bag. Small, brown, kind of worn, looks sorta like a satchel-”

“Hmm...” He scratched his chin with a thoughtful hoof for a moment. “Yep! I know the one. It’s in the lost in found, in the back. Found it sitting under a table, while I was sweeping yesterday afternoon.” He dropped the rag into a pocket in his apron, straightened his hat, and lifted the counter’s divider, walking towards the back of the store. “I’ll go and get it for you. Be back before you can say ‘muffins’!”

“Did somebody say muffins?” a slightly nasal voice called from a table across the room. A cross-eyed pegasus jumped up and turned her head rather excitedly towards the counter.

Mr. Cake sighed. “No, Miss Hooves. They’ll be ready in just a minute, okay?”

The pegasus sat back down, her smile fading, but not completely disappearing, as she began tapping a hoof impatiently on the table. “Oh, okay. Sorry.”

Mr. Cake shook his head, laughed lightly, and started for the back again. “Be just a moment.”

As we waited, I quickly scanned all the cakes, pies, cookies, and other tasty treats that sat around and behind the counter. I hadn’t eaten much at breakfast; I had been too preoccupied about my imagined eviction to enjoy anything. Mr. Cake had mentioned muffins... maybe I’d get one once I had my bag back, if they looked anywhere near as good as that mare seemed think they would be.

Mr. Cake returned rather quickly, balancing my bag expertly on his head, and depositing it on the countertop for me with a smile and a flourish. “Ta-dah!”

“Oh, thank Celestia!” I said loudly, as I picked it up and slung it around my neck. “Everything I own is in this bag! Thank you so much.” I felt instantly lighter, and a bubbly emotion welled up in me, making me flutter my wings absently as I adjusted the strap around my neck. A smile crossed my face, and decided to stay there for a bit.

“No trouble at all, Mr. Chaser.”

“Just Chaser.” I corrected quickly.

DING! A bell sounded from the other side of the room, through the doorway in the back of the store. A moment later, a blue mare with a pink, frosting-like mane emerged with a tray full of piping-hot muffins, and the smell of cinnamon filled the air over all the other goods. My mouth began watering. I would definitely be getting a muffin today.

The grey pegasus had gotten up at the bell, and was now anxiously waiting next to me at the counter, bouncing in anticipation. The frosting-haired mare set the tray down, smiled up at Mr. Cake, and said, “There you are, dear. The next batch is already in, should be about twelve minutes; I set the timer for you. I’m going to take the babies to the market to get some fresh berries for the pies this afternoon. Think you can hold down the store for a few minutes without me?”

“I think I can manage, sweetie! Enjoy the market, take your time, and remind Kettle Corn to stop by and pick up his order while you’re there.” They nuzzled, and she turned and walked out the door. Mr. Cake turned back to us, and the pegasus beside me, and said, “Alright, now who wants a muffin?”

I noticed Applejack eyeing them out of the corner of my eye, trying to remain casual even as she licked her lips at the sight of the scrumptious-smelling treats. I was feeling pretty good, now that I had my bag back. Fishing for my money, I flashed Applejack a grin and said, “I’ll take two.” Then, looking over at the salivating mare beside me, I added, “And, uh, one for her.”

She turned to look at me... I think. “Really, Mister?”

I shrugged. “Sure, but I’m not a mister. Name’s Chaser.” I held out my free hoof as well as I could, crooking the bag in my knee to keep it open while I fished for my bitbag.

She shook it dazedly. “Um, Derpy. Derpy Hooves.” She looked towards the muffins again. “Can I?” Mr. Cake merely smiled and tilted the tray towards her. She turned back to face me again and scratched her head. “I don’t understand.”

I smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through me as I pulled out my bag of bits at last, feeling the jingling of coin in my hoof. “Well, Derpy, there isn’t much to understand. I have a reason to be happy right now. Might as well share it, right?”

I couldn’t tell if her eyes were on me, but her grin sure was. “Oh, thank you!” she said as she took her now-suddenly-free muffin from Mr. Cake. She rushed forward and hugged me tightly, then went off to her table to enjoy her morning treat. “I won’t forget this, Mister Chaser. I promise!”

“I-it’s just Chaser!” I replied as I rubbed my forelegs sheepishly. “And it’s not a big deal. It’s just a muffin.” I muttered, then turned to pay for the three I had just bought.

“That was real nice, what you did for Derpy there,” Applejack stated as I dropped the bits into Mr. Cake’s waiting hoof.

“It was nothing. Like I said,” I offered one of my muffins to Applejack, and she took it graciously as I continued, “I feel good. For me, that’s a rare thing. My mom always told me that good feelings last longer when shared.”

“Well, thanks, Chaser. You didn’t need to do that for me, either.”

I shrugged again, and began munching on my muffin. It was cinnamon raisin, and it was delicious- the warm, spongy muffin; the soft juicy raisins; the perfectly spun swirls of cinnamon. I could see why Ms. Hooves had been so keen on getting one. “I know. But you helped me get my bag back, so I figured I could show a little gratitude. Besides,” I paused to enjoy another bite, then continued, “I’m not the only one here with an appetite. I didn’t eat all those apples last night by myself.”

She laughed. “That’s true enough, I reckon.” She turned back to the stallion at the counter. “Well, thank you kindly, Mr. Cake. We’ll be seein’ you.”

He waved, and then pulled out his rag to continue the never-ending battle against the spot on the counter. “You kids have a nice day.”

I waved at the Derpy Hooves again on the way out, and we left the bakery, munching our muffins quietly. Applejack turned and started down the main road, and I followed at one side of her, my cares and worries settling in a distant corner of my mind for the first time in-

“Library’s over here.”

Oh, right. The library. Twilight Sparkle. My cutie mark.

That distant corner of my mind apparently contained a trebuchet, which launched all my fears and anxiety right back to the front in a long, sweeping arc. As they came crashing down over the castle walls of my mind, the cheery feeling I had found in the bakery disappeared, replaced almost instantly by cold dread. The thought of disclosing this information to anypony else by choice still filled me with apprehension. Would Twilight Sparkle be as accepting as Applejack had been? Would she judge me to be worth withholding judgement upon? Or would she see the blank, and be the first deliver the guilty verdict I was so fearful of? In my mind, I knew that what Applejack had told me was true, that she wouldn’t lie to me about something so important- she had no reason to. In my heart, however, there still sat a dejected young colt, alone and scared as he cried in his room, who only wanted his cutie mark, so someone would place value on him at last...

My fearful musing carried me all the way to the library, which thankfully wasn’t too far. Seeing it up close, it was quite different than I had imagined. Where I had expected a normal building with a large oak beside, instead I found an impressive structure, a mostly hollowed-out oak tree that still grew around the building that lay within. Inside lay my most daunting task so far in Ponyville- revealing my purpose here to Fluttershy and Applejack’s friend, Twilight Sparkle.

Forging ahead despite the trembling in my legs, I got to the door ahead of Applejack. I pushed it open, and it swung to one side, where I held it until she passed me. I followed her in, praying that she wasn’t wrong about this.

The library was quiet, as I suppose libraries are meant to be. It was also full of books, stacked on shelves as one would expect, which ran the length of the walls of the lower story, as well as in piles and stacks spread in a seemingly random fashion around the room. In the back was a gently curved staircase leading to an upper level, and off to the left was a door, presumably concealing more books in the next room.

“Twi? You here?” Applejack called out.

“Applejack?” The voice that responded was not Twilight Sparkle, nor were the feet that appeared from the upper floor; Twilight Sparkle’s ‘chief assistant and scribe’, Spike came bounding down the stairs, stopping at the last step as he spied me. “Waaait a minute. You’re that stallion from yesterday.” he said, eyeing me with suspicion.

“Uh, yeah.” My face went red. “Guilty as charged.”

“Uh-huh... What’s going on, Applejack?” he asked her, ignoring me. “Twilight’s upstairs, going over research on timberwolves. She’s been at it all night, as usual.” He swirled a claw around his head in a ‘crazy’ sign.

“Well, uh, Chaser here has got somethin’ more important he needs research done for.”

“Oh, yeah? Like books on dragon tackling?” I blanched, and started sputtering an apology. He waved me off with a smirk. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Seriously, no hard feelings. I’m totally over it.”

I laughed, and it sounded almost like a bark. The two of them stared at me for a second before Applejack continued. “It’s really kind of important. Can we go upstairs?”

“Sure,” the dragon replied coolly, “I mean, I’m her assistant, not her bouncer. But you should know, getting her attention away from those books is-”

“Oh, I know, Spike. We’ll take our chances. Thanks.” She started up the stairs.

“Uh, thanks, Spike.” I followed Applejack, bowing awkwardly towards him as we passed each other. I watched him bound over to the door in the wall and fling it open, and I caught a glimpse of more books inside. I was so focused on the strange little dragon, I forgot to watch where I was walking, and suddenly found myself stepping onto thin air as I turned more sharply than I should have. I flailed for a moment, my front hooves slipping out from under me, and I yelped, causing Applejack to turn around.

“Chaser!” She took a step towards me, and then stopped when I popped my wings open and flapped back onto the steps.

I grinned foolishly up at her as my hooves found purchase again. “Sorry... Missed a step.”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me, then turned back around to finish climbing.

The upper floor of the library was much the same as the lower- stacked high with shelves and piles of bound text, the smell of old parchment and dried ink pervasive in the air, dusty and musty. A desk with fresh ink bottles and quills sat to one side of the stairs, and a telescope leaned by a large bay window on the far side of the floor, glistening patiently as it waited for the stars to appear that evening. The biggest difference on this floor was the bed off to one side or the room, in an alcove with a large window. It seemed Twilight Sparkle actually lived in the library.

At the moment, her back was turned to us as she studied what appeared to be the latest in a large stack of books, flipping the pages every so often as she scoured the text for information. She seemed completely oblivious to our entrance. Applejack cleared her throat as we approached. “Twi? You got a minute?”

“Hmm,” she answered distractedly.

Applejack sighed. “Twi?”

“Mhmm.”

Applejack slapped a hoof to her face. “Oh, crabapples. There’s no talkin’ to her when she gets like this.” She looked around wildly. “Quick, knock somethin’ over.”

“Wha?”

“A book, or somethin’. Trust me. It’s the only way to snap her outta this.”

“O-okay...” I looked around and spotted a stack of books about two feet away. I walked forward and, after an unsure moment, pushed the top book off the tower stack gingerly. It made a stiff, papery sliding noise as it moved off the stack, and Twilight Sparkle whirled around at the sound

“Huh?!”

The book flipped over and toppled off the stack, falling as though in slow motion. It hit the ground with a loud THUK!, which echoed through the mostly empty room.

“Aah!” The unicorn jumped into the air, startled by the loud noise shattering the quiet of the library.

“Aah!” I replied, mirroring her jump, and adding a pair of wings to the motion for effect.

Applejack facehooved again, exhaling loudly.

Twilight Sparkle stood, a hoof to her chest, catching her breath after the scare. She looked around at the two of us. “Applejack? And... Chaser, was it?” she breathed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you come in. I was researching-”

“Timberwolves. We know, sugar. But we need your help with somethin’ else right now.”

Twilight Sparkle raised an eyebrow curiously. “Of course, so long as it’s quick. I really need to figure out-”

Applejack turned to me as she interjected. “Chaser here has somethin’ he’d like to discuss with you. Somethin’ real important to him. We thought you’d be the best pony to ask.”

“N-no, it’s okay, Applejack, Miss Sparkle is obviously very busy w-with her studying,” I said weakly, shrinking into my cloak. “We can always come back l-later!” Damned anxiety. Curse this abominable stutter!

“Nonsense, Sugarcube.” She turned to Twilight Sparkle again and sighed softly. “Can you help him?”

“Well, I don’t know what kind of help I can be, but I’ll try.” She looked over at me. “What did you need, Chaser?”

I was frozen. Sweat beaded down my forehead, and my legs felt like jelly. I had admitted I was a blank flank to five ponies already, so why was this so much harder?

Because I’d had no choice, then. Every pony I’d told before had already known, and I had just ridden the current. This time it was all on me, and swimming upstream was far more painful, and terrifying.

“Go on, Chaser. You can do this.” Applejack offered, trying to encourage me.

The butterflies in my stomach were threatening to blow me open from the inside. I tried to speak, but my tongue had turned into dust in my mouth. “I...” I choked. “I can’t. I just can’t. I’m sorry...” I shook my head violently and started to back up, feeling my back hooves brush the top of the stairs.

“Are you alright?” Twilight Sparkle stepped closer, tilting her head to look up at me, concern in her eyes.

“Chaser?” Applejack called, echoing Twilight’s approach.

I closed my eyes, and tried to breathe. My thoughts were swirling around me in a vortex of awful memories and words, jeering and laughing and insults. The room felt so small, and there didn’t seem to be quite enough air. As I edged my back hooves down a step, I could almost hear the darkness beckoning me inside its inky embrace. I couldn’t do it. It was too soon. She wouldn’t understand. They won’t understand. I’m just a mistake. A failure. I just wanted to be left alone. Applejack was wrong. This couldn’t work...


“GO!”


The tiny echo rang through my mind, above the storm of memories, over the calling darkness.

The whirlwind around me fell suddenly still, and the shadow rapidly slunk away to whatever black corners it had come from. My body stopped shaking, and I stepped up, off the stairs. The voice from my dream... Now I understood what it had been trying to tell me.

I drew a slow, deep breath, and swallowed. “Twilight Sparkle.” I opened my eyes and slowly brought them up to meet the eyes of the mare before me. “Applejack told me that you might be able to help me... find out why I still don’t have a cutie mark.”

She stepped back, confused. “You don’t have a cutie mark?”

“No.” I shook my head, then lifted my cloak with my wings slowly. It felt like it weighed a hundred pounds as I rose it high enough to show my blank flank. “It’s been my shame that I’m the only stallion I know to never find his talent.” I dropped the cloak, and the heavy fabric fell back into place neatly and quietly. I focused on speaking slowly, keeping my voice steady, and my tone even, as I explained. “I’ve... tried to keep it a secret here in Ponyville, to avoid the exclusion and ridicule I’ve experienced for most of my life in Snowfall. I came here to see if, away from my home, I might find the means to discover my talent, once and for all. But, I don’t really know how to do that.” I glanced at Applejack, who had her hat off in a solemn, respectful stance, and she nodded at me to continue. “I’ve heard from some ponies that you’re very good with books, and Applejack said I could trust you not to tell anypony.”

Twilight Sparkle stood there, a strange look on her face, for a long pause. When she finally did move, it was merely a nod. “Well, she’s right about that. You can trust me. I won’t tell anypony.”

“Thank you.” I had gotten past the hard part, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. “Do you... know anything about cutie marks, and if there are, or have been, other ponies like me?”

There was a twinkle in her eyes, I’d swear, and then she turned her head away from me. It was like I’d flipped a switch in her mind. Immediately, she started moving towards the bookcases, scanning titles as she went. “You know, I just might. Actually, I remember several books on the topic, although most are about the philosophy and psychology behind cutie marks, and not physical acquisition. This is very fascinating. I might have something of interest, though...” She froze suddenly, and glanced over at me, a strange look in her eyes as a half-smile crossed her face. “Chaser, do you think you could help me out?”

I took a cautious half-step back. “Uh, well, I guess, yeah. What did you need? Is there a book downstairs or something?”

“Oh, no. That’s why I have Spike.” She laughed airily. “I meant... Well, I was looking for a few specific texts on creatures for my research into the timberwolf problem, but I don’t seem to have any copies of them.” She continued searching for books as she went, pulling volumes telekinetically, and either piling them in a stack, or tossing them on the floor. “If I remember correctly, you mentioned at the hospital that your father is a creature studies professor at the University in Snowfall.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I believe he could shed some much needed insight into this issue. Even moreso than a text, as much as I hate to admit. Experience is better than books... sometimes.”

“O-okay...”

“Do you think you could write him a letter for me, and ask if he could help with my research?”

That was all? I thought she was going to ask me to get him down here to interview him about my childhood or something. “Oh, sure!” I agreed quickly, almost laughing in relief, “Yeah, my dad’s really keen on that stuff. He taught me tons when I was a colt. I’m sure he’d help. I’d be glad to do that.”

“Excellent. Spike can take a letter for you downstairs. He’s searching for my old copy of Malevolent Magical Monstrosities, but just let him know we’ve got more important things to look into now...”

“Um, Twi?” Applejack stepped forward. “You know how Spike is at keeping secrets. You might want to-”

“I know, I know. I won’t tell him anything he doesn’t need to know. I promise,” she looked across the floor to me, “your secret is safe here.”

“Thank you so much.” I breathed.

“My pleasure.” She turned to a stack of volumes she had pulled out, flipping through them speedily to check for something inside, then throwing them each away when she didn’t find it. “After you have Spike take your letter, just drop it in the post box outside.”

“Right. Sure thing.” I turned to Applejack, who was motioning me to the staircase, as she was already walking down them. “Uh, we’ll just go now, I guess?”

“Alright. Come back this evening,” she was saying as we descended the stairs, her voice muffled by a text in front of her face, “And I should have something for you.”

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Spike appeared from the back room, carrying a large, leather-bound lexicon. “I found it, Twilight!”

“Spike,” Applejack held out a hoof as he approached the bottom of the stairs, and Spike ground to a stop, swaying forward slightly as the heavy tome took a moment longer to stop than he did. “Twilight said we got more important things to take care of right now.”

He studied Applejack with an air of disbelief. “More important than studying?”

“We need you to take a letter to Chaser’s dad.”

He blinked several times and gave me a look. “What in Equestria for?”

“He’s a teacher up in Snowfall, and he might know somethin’ about timberwolves that’d be helpful.”

He looked at the book he was carrying for a moment, then at me, then Applejack. He dropped the book and ran to a desk laden with papers and quills. “Oh, so it is about studying. Well, why didn’t you say so?” He rushed back over quickly and stopped in front of us. I thought about mentioning that he was standing on the book he’d just dropped. He put the quill to parchment, eyeing the paper intently. “Alright, I’m ready.”

I stood there for several second before realizing that he was waiting for me to speak. “Oh, right. Sorry.” I’d never dictated a letter before. “*Ahem* Uh, let’s see. Dear Dad...”

Author's Note:

Enjoy!