"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Joan Crawford
Her body shook. Her mind was racing. Her heart ached with everything she was feeling right now.
“Am I really doing this?”
She was once again tearing through the wind; but this time, she wasn’t running away from her problem. She was challenging it head on.
“Come on Dash, it’s three words... I love you.. that’s all I have to say.”
She knew, though, that it wouldn’t be so effortless.
Dash landed outside the Boutique only a few moments later. The sun was midway behind the horizon. The sky was lit with various shades of red and orange. She stood alone on the path leading into the Boutique. A faint breeze had begun stirring, rousing her mane inappreciably.
She took her first step up the path.
“Come on Dash. Left, right, left, right..”
Walking had become a chore. Her body filled with apprehension as she took the agonizing steps up to the Boutique’s door. She peeked in the window. No one was inside.
“Rarity must be upstairs relaxing. With the amount of customers she dealt with, I can see why.”
She yawned, realizing she was still tired. She shook it off, and put a hesitant hand on the Boutique’s door handle. She opened it.
“Uh... Rarity..?”
Dash was almost hoping no one answered. She breathed in the strong odor of perfume she was so accustomed to. The windows’ blind were slightly drawn. The shop was colored in hues orange and red, and seemed to be enveloped in silence; everything was so heavenly.
“Just a minute.”
Rarity’s song-like voice rang out from upstairs. Dash blushed slightly.
“Her voice is.. beautiful..”
Rarity ambled down the staircase to meet Dash. Rarity’s mane held that familiar curl to it. Her eyes sparkled in the light, adding to the already celestial feeling of the scene. She seemed to be in a perfect state of grace.
“Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. Do you need something?”
Her voice sounded like an angel’s. Dash stammered, trying to gain her composure.
“Uh.. yeah.. maybe we could talk about it another--”
Dash stopped herself as she turned towards the door.
“Now, Rainbow Dash; this needs to happen now.”
She turned back around, and with a hesitant sigh, she began speaking.
“Look, Rarity.. I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while now.. and..”
She stopped. The words were stuck in her throat. They defiantly refused to come out. Dash decided to not be so blunt as to just say “I love you”.
“Rarity, for the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking about you. I could never get you out of my head. Your personality, your beauty, everything about you is.. perfect.. and I’ve started to.. admire that.”
Rarity was stunned.
“You.. love me..?”
Dash nodded silently. She knew she couldn’t take back what she said.
This thought rolled around in Rarity’s head.
“Rainbow Dash.. loves me..”
It was unimaginable. Rainbow Dash, the most cocky, mischievous, daring pony she knew loved her; the cleanest and tidiest pony in Ponyville.
“I.. don’t know what to say.. you always seemed like you would be more to the liking of Applejack; after all, you two have so much in common.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
“Everyone assumes that I like her. Sure, we have a lot in common. But who’s to say I can’t like somepony who’s ‘not my type’ according to everypony else?”
Rarity couldn’t seem to find the right words to respond. She was in a state of complete bewilderment.
“Rainbow.. I.. I’m not sure if I can say I feel for you the way you do for me.. you’re a great and caring pony, but I’m not sure I can say ‘I love you’.”
Dash stood still. Her heart ached at the words.
“It’s alright, Rarity... thanks for the honesty.”
Sadness lingered in Dash’s voice; but, somehow, she felt relieved; proud, even. She had gotten her biggest burden off of her chest.. and something about the way Rarity turned her down.. something about it made Dash feel content.
“Well.. I guess I’ll leave then..”
Rarity looked at the ground, biting her lip. She couldn’t stand seeing another pony unhappy. She walked with Dash to the door, uneasiness filling her body.
Dash opened the door. She looked towards Rarity, who was still uneasy about what had taken place.
“Hey..” she spoke, a slight smile on her face.
“Thanks.”
Dash opened her wings, preparing to make the flight home.
“Wait..” Rarity spoke up.
“Can I ask you something, before you leave, Dash?”
Dash nodded.
“You seem so.. satisfied with my answer. Usually, a pony would be unhappy, depressed even, but you seem.. content.”
Dash smiled.
“I am, Rarity. You turned me down without an apology. No ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘will you forgive me’. You’re independent, and I like that. You don’t give into pressure. And I’m glad you didn’t say ‘yes’ just because you felt you’d disappoint me.”
Rarity’s guilt lifted away from her.
“Thank you for being understanding, Dash.”
Dash nodded again, a warm look still lingering on her face. With this, she lept into the air, soaring off towards home.
Rarity watched Dash until she was out of sight. But still, she stood there, looking up at the violet sky. She thought about what Rainbow Dash had said. How she had been so understanding. How she took everything. Rarity couldn’t help but feel a deep respect for Rainbow Dash; a respect that was given to no other pony. Rarity realized that this respect was so deep, it was almost.. love.
Rarity turned away from the now dark sky, and headed back into the Boutique. She turned around one last time to look up into the night sky.
And she smiled.
I think that this may actually be my last chapter. Extremely short, I know, but I feel if I continued it it'd be too awkward.
2 thoughts:
1) You are a jerk for not making a happy ending. Here I was, going to go to school that's going to be rough, and I read this just before? Jerk
2) As much as point 1 is true, this really is how it probably would end. Lets face it, Rarity is determined to find that "prince" of her's, and while rainbow is pretty much a tomboy, she ain't a prince.
It seems like an odd place to end it, what with Rarity finding out she loves Dash and all, or something close to it. Usually this would be a penultimate chapter of sorts, the one right before they get together. It may just be me being picky, but this doesn't seem like an ending to me. It seems like the big realization almost, a cliffhanger before the next chapter, except that Rarity doesn't seem to react much from the realization. I'm fine with open endings, but this seems somewhat incomplete.
i agree with bashfluff, the story is yours to do with as you want, but you could probably get one more chapter out of this if you decided to put them together in the end. either way, the story was nice to read
The story was nice and the ending was unexpected but not necessarily unpleasant. However, this story is overall too short in my honest opinion. It feels like a lot of the details have been skipped over in the middle leaving you with just the beginning and end. However, other than the length there are no other real issues that I see and I look forward to reading more of your work.
I was, in all honesty, trying to go for a "not-so-happy" ending. But I guess I can try to get one last chapter up (also the reason I kept marked as "incomplete". Wanted to see feedback before I decided to end it or not). I'll probably also run through everything again. Want to make sure this story is at least decent before I think about moving on to another.
194138
Ok, now that my school day is over, I can type a little calmer
There is no problem at all taking the "not-so-happy ending" route. Hell, considering Rarity's personality, it would totally make sense. However, there SHOULD be another chapter in some fashion. You kinda just ended the climax, and now need some sort of resolution (they actually DO get together, they end up being best friends, no hard feelings between the two, etc).
That said, I don't wanna sound like I'm pressuring you to write something you don't want to, but those are my two bits.
195347 I'll probably try to tag on a happy ending for the satisfaction.
Anyway, I'll start writing it up tomorrow. Probably get it posted Wednesday.