The Sad Sad Life Of Poopy McScooperton

by Whalesbefreeyo

School

The schoolhouse hid its age very well. You'd never notice at first glance, but the structure had been used to teach 3 generations of ponies, now reaching 4. The walls had recently been repainted and stood gleaming in Celestia's sun. Its warm colors gave off a calming aura that soothed any pony who wandered near. Inside, the building had been recently refurnished not a year ago. the walls were coated with white paint that complimented the green drapes hanging around the back windows. Paintings of Princess Celestia and a horse added a final touch to the scene. To anyone else this would have been a inviting place, To Poopy McScooperton, it was a prison of shame and humiliation.

The next six months of school had been only a small amount less difficult than the first day. No longer did the teacher giggle at Poopy's strange name, but the students around him continued to laugh in spite of him. Over the Months he had been called every name a foal of eight could think of. Booger breath, blank flank, Dodo, chicken, these only annoyed him. The yellow filly with a gold spoon cutie mark, Gold Spoon, mark had taken to the more adult insults. Colt Crudder, Stallion Slapper, Derpy, he had been called all these and more by the golden filly, not that either of them knew what the words meant.

Today She called him Derpy yet again. At the mention of "Derpy", The cross-eyed grey filly had taken her focus off her muffin and planted it on Golden Spoon. Poopy didn't know why she looked over nor did he care, he was busy attempting to ignore the multitude of insults that came from the wealthy filly sitting next to him. He could ignore most of the verbal attacks Golden Spoon spat at him, but there was one he couldn't ignore no matter how hard he tried. "failure". His eyes widened and her ears perked hearing this. Failure, so many times he had heard this from his father. Every time he tried to make Rubble McScooperton proud he would hear that word.

Golden Spoon opens her mouth with a wide sinister grin. A crack in his defenses had been found and she had full intention to exploit it as viciously as she could. How she enjoyed seeing the suffering of this pathetic pony. She was a sadistic foal just like her mother, Bronze Spoon, her mother who showed her no love. it didn't matter though ,she was a Spoon, she didn't need love. The Spoon family was rich, famous, powerful, prideful. They were the greatest family to exist in Equestria, at least that what Golden Spoon had always been told. This weak little colt, this so called McScooperton, was insignificant in the face of her greatness. He was a rat to tortured and played with, and torture him she would. Oh what fun she would have seeing a McScooperton be reduced to nothing but a quivering jellyfish.

Golden Spoon leaned over and whispered, " I bet your cutie mark is gonna be a turd you bucking failure". Poopy's mouth quivered and he looked at his desk , pained at the harsh words. He hated hearing that word so much. Anypony could tell by looking at Poopy that he had very low levels of self confidence. The word "failure" only served to lower it even further. "It's gonna be a turd, showing how you a complete bucking failure at everything you do", she smiled a wicked satisfied smile seeing Poopy's ears droop as low as his hair. " It's just gonna show how you make everyone feel better about themselves you stupid piece of poop". Poopy continued to look down, Praying to Celestia that Golden Spoon would stop.

Golden Spoon eventually grew bored of taunting the colt named after feces. She needed a different pony to tear down. Her eyes directed themselves to the bored pink filly sitting one seat in front of Poopy. The Spoon's vile grin returned to her lips as she leaned over to desk diagonally across from her. Panic swept over Poopy. Was the rich foal about to insult Pinkie just as she had him? Yes, She was, as he found out the minute Golden Spoon's mouth opened. " Hey, psst, hey you. Bucking freak." Pinkie glanced at the rude Spoon. "What the Hay is that? A cutie mark? ha. What's it for? how much your family wants you to float away?".

Pinkie just stared at Golden Spoon with a vacant expression. No one but Poopy noticed her mouth slide into a faint frown, but it disappeared within and instant. "Nope!", she said in a loud whisper as to not notify the teacher who was going off on a espresso-fueled tangent about Hyper Physics and the possibilities of time travel. "It means I like to party!". And with that a grin appeared on her face. Irritation was plastered on the wealthy Spoon's face. usually the first insult elicited a reaction but this pink pony has just shrugged it off and smiled.

"I doubt that. I bet it means how your family hates you and wants you to float away". She was losing her cool already, she wasn't used to anypony blowing off her insults. " Besides, your parties are the worst I've bucking seen". Pinkie's ear drooped. Bingo! Golden Spoon found the crack in the wall that was Pinkie Pie.

"Yeah. they suck, hard. Your hayseed family may like them but that just means they're a bunch of derpy rock farmers. Bucking loser" . Golden spoon Smirked as Pinkie's hair began to lose some of its poofiness. Poopy felt something he never had before. Inside him a spark of rage ignited. Golden Spoon had gone too far. She could make fun of him, He was Poopy McScooperton, he was a failure and he deserved the ridicule he got. Pinkie didn't deserve any of it though, she was the kindest pony he had ever met.
It was against everything Celestia had ever taught her subjects but Poopy wanted to hurt Golden Spoon. It didn't matter that the insults against Pinkie Pie were weak, Poopy could feel anger, much like his own father's, burning inside him. In his mind he could see himself leaping out of his desk and beating the wealthy filly against the wall. He had always been told not to hit a filly but this was an exception, they were making fun of his friend. Poopy began to move out of his seat to reenact the vision in his mind but halted after an inch of movement.

Forcefully the small McScooperton held himself back. Fear prevented him from slamming his hooves against Golden Spoon's head. The Spoon family was a powerful family. They owned Shining Spoon Silverware, the largest corporation in Equestria next to Barnyard Bargains. If he hit Golden Spoon then there surely would be a price to pay. He might be beaten or even disappear without a trace. The Spoons were that powerful. Imagining how his father might react only made it worse. " You hit a member of the Spoon family!? You're not just a failure Poopy! You're a bucking idiot!!", The words that would undeniably come from his father if he even touched Golden Spoon.

Poopy felt like a rotten apple, A rotten apple that has been sitting in the manure fields festering, filled with worms and surrounded by flies. Here was Golden Spoon berating Pinkie pie, his best friend, his only friend, the only pony to show genuine care for him, and he couldn't bring himself to defend her. All he could do was sit quietly and wait until Golden spoon decided to end her tirade against Pinkie. If he even spoke up against the Spoon she would surely find a way to make him suffer more, or worse make Pinkie suffer. The Spoon family could take away the Pie family farm. They were that powerful. Poopy sat at his desk and sank a few inches in guilt and regret. Poppy was a coward and he hated it. He truely felt like a failure.

Golden Spoon , about to continue her verbal onslaught against the rock farmer, stopped, noticing that the teacher had realized she was talking about math far beyond her student's understanding. "Sorry about that". The blue mare spoke with a embarrassed blush. She turned around, picking up the chalk with her teeth, and wrote on the chalkboard. The chalk crushed against the board producing a rather annoying screech until the equation " 5 x 6" was written out on the board. With a grin the teaching mare asked her students, "Can anyone tell me what this means? ". Poopy paid no heed to the problem that had been drawn up on the board. His focus still laid on Golden spoon.

Rage continued to burn inside him. Was this what his father felt when he looked at Poopy? Like so many times before, Poopy began to daydream. Pinkie lay in a dark room, tied up and unable to move. Beside her was the agitating golden filly, verbally assaulting her and threatening to remove her family's farm. Golden spoon took on the shape of a monster, tentacles spouting from her back as her teeth grew and a long tongue stretched to the ground. Her eyes became those of snakes as her mane grew into sharp spines. She no longer resembled a young mare but a creature of the outer gods themselves. Leaning into deliver the final blow the monster was startled by the sound of shattering wall. A cloud of dust sat in front of the now destroyed wall, softly and slowly settling. As the cloud settled the shape of a colt could be made out. Poopy stepped out of the settling dust, adorned in a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Let her go", he said with calm face.

The beast that was Golden Spoon only looked at him quizzically and with a smug grin replied, "make me". Poopy stood on his hind legs and glared at the creature. "Alright then". Only a Blur could be seen as the monster felt a hoof smash into its face. It let out a loud wail, clutching its face in agony. "It's a good day to die....for you". The beast's eye pushed itself to the jacket clad colt that spoke those strange words. "What?", was all it could ask before a hoof crushed its head against the wall.

Poopy looked upon Pinkie, who was still tied and unable to move. "your safe now Pinkie!" he cried heroically as he ran his hoof across the tight ropes. Instantly the rope snapped in a perfect line. Pinkie was amazed, Poopy was able to cut through the ropes without the need of a knife. " My hero", She said softly. "Anything for you Pinkimena Diane Pie. Anything for you". He stared into Pinkie's eyes. Her eyes shimmered and sparkled in the light. Their faces began to move towards each other.
"Poopy, do you know the answer?"

" Huh!, wha?" the child was torn from his dreams when the teacher called upon him. "Poopy" , stifling a giggle she continued her inquiry. "Can you answer the question on the board?". Poopy looked at the question. Math, He hated math. Of all Subject math had to be his worst. "umm. umm. fifty six?" A roar of laughter came from the class, save pinkie pie and the grey Pegasus. Once more the insults landed upon the brown colt.
"Idiot".
"Moron".
"Stupid".
"Enough!", cried the teacher.

The laughter came to an immediate halt. A harsh gaze rested on the class. The teacher stared in disappointment at her students. Quickly her calm demeanor returned and she asked "Can anyone answer the question on the board?".

The lesson about multiplication and how it was supposed to be done droned on, boring Poopy to no end. Desperate to find something else to do, he peered over at the desk of the hyper pink filly in front of him. Pinkie had a pencil in her mouth and paper in front of her. the pencil was being moved to form the shape of a cannon on the paper. Around the picture of the cannon were numerous equations and calculations. It was like looking at another language. Poopy couldn't make heads or tails of the numbers that were sprawled across the sheet.

Three long hours passed and the sound of salvation rang through Poopy's ears. The School bell went off signaling the end of the day. Poopy made sure to give his daily thanks to Celestia for making the lengthy explanation of the mechanics of math go away. Hitching up his saddlebags he watched Pinkie bounce out of the schoolhouse. A smile crept onto his face. Pinkie just had that effect on him, he found it difficult to be sad around her. Trotting out of the school house he ran to catch up to the bouncing pink ball of energy, the grass softly rustling beneath his hooves as he ran. Both the children took the same path home so it gave Poopy time to talk with his friend.

He trotted up beside her. " Hey Pinkie". Pinkie turned her head to "I'm sorry about what Golden Spoon said". Guilt intruded in on Poopy again. He should have helped but instead he just sat there and day dreamed." It's not your fault. She just a mean meanie mean meanie pants". Poopy smiled slightly, happy that Pinkie wasn't mad at him for failing to defend her. "What were you drawing in class?" "Party Cannon Plans", she replied with a smile on her lips.

Poopy looked at his friend quizzically, and eye brow raised. "Party Cannon?". Pinkie responded with a nod. " It's gonna be sooo great! Ya just point it at stuff and BAM! it will be all decorated with balloon and streamers and ribbons and party hats and cloth and cake!". She let out a proud grin. "It does sound neat but when would you ever use it?, Poopy asked, unsure as to how such a device would be useful. "At parties silly filly", Pinky applied a noogie to the top of his droopy mane. "I'm a colt", Poopy told her in deadpan tone. She ignored his comment and continued talking. " Birthday Parties, Cuteceaneras, party parties, Just came to town parties, Cupcake parties", the grin on her face grew wider. Poopy wore a expression of pure surprise and confusion. " Ponies have parties on their birthdays?".

Pinkie's face went into a black stare. " I've never had a party for my birthday, usually my dad just tells me to stay in my room" . Pinkie gasped and then leaped six feet into the air. "You've never had a birthday party!?!", she yelled in disbelief. Poopy could only shake his head "no". "When's your birthday" She demanded , pointing a hoof into his face. "um- um-um N-neighvember sixth. Two weeks from today". Pinkie gasped again. " Mine is on the 7th! Our birthdays are so close. That's so super duper neatly neat!". Poopy didn't see how their birthdays being a day apart was anything special. Apparently for Pinkie, birthdays were a big deal. He didn't really see why, to him it was just another day.

Pinkie once more pointed her pink hoof into Poopy's face. " Poopy I'm gonna throw you the best birthday party ever!", She declared, a look of hard determination on her face. "Wha-", He didn't get to finish. A cloud of dust pushed itself into Poopy's face as Pinkie ran off to her rock farm home. "See ya tomorrow Poopy!", the now distant pink dot yelled. Poopy stood there in a daze, confused as to what had just happened. Shaking his head he trotted back home. Apparently Pinkie was going to throw him a party on his birthday. Poopy appreciated the gesture but he still didn't understand why she would go through the trouble. He wasn't about to reject the offer though, It might be nice to finally experience a party.

Poopy reached his home and headed inside. At the table sat his father, Rubble McScooperton, drinking his fifth bottle of Applejack Daniels that day. The Taste of apples crossed with the lifting sensation the alcohol brought allowed Rubble a few minutes of happiness. He had managed to forget about Poopy until the door opened and the colt walked in. Immediately a frown appeared on the stallions face. The bane of his existence, The failure son, His failure son, had returned home. Rubble Snorted and spoke in a disinterested tone. " Grampa McScooperton is going to be visiting in 2 weeks Poopy. Thought you should know".

Poopy's face became one of terror and anxiety. Grampa McScooperton, the most cantankerous, grouchy, mean, old stallion was coming. The senior McScooperton had visited before when Poopy was 4. He towered over Poopy, burrowing into his very soul with disapproving eyes. " Failure", the only word the old stallion had used to describe Poopy.

The child stood frozen in his position, miserably murmuring the words "oh no...".

Author Notes:
1. I'm trying to keep Poopy from being a Mary Sue (a term I honestly feel is too widely used). The idea for him is that he's a nice guy but has a crappy life, he's nowhere near perfect. Hopefully I'm doing that right, trying to develop him as best I can and not make him just a clone of the person he's friends with (as so many Sues end up being).
2. Why you reading DIS crap yo?? you should be reading stuff like "On a Cross and Arrow"," Moving On: Silver Spoon's story", or "It Takes a Village", Not dis shizz!. What wrong with you foo!?. Seriously though thanks to everyone who takes time out of their day to read my mediocre stories. Forgive mah bad writing!

Comments

[Inkblu]

APPLEJACK DANIELS MOTHERBUCKER WHAT UP?
Also Golden Spoon is horrible

[Whalesbefreeyo]

188284
Cupcakes...thats whats up..its ALWAYS up. It will be ..forever..and ever...the cupcakes will rule us all someday...I know they will...
Also yes she is,shes the worst