A Dash Of War(craft)

by Alexander Bolt

Aren't You A Bit Short For Magic?

Melkiv Sparkwelder was not a happy gnome. First he had been thrown through a massive portal with his short time partners by an unknown entity, then he happened to land on some undeveloped civilization's planet. THEN it happened to be some prissy prince's room he landed in, whom promptly called in a battalion of guards. Need he mention that all of the aforementioned creatures were shrunken horses? They were no match for his "superior" magic, as he quickly realized, but were about ten times stronger than his match. He had been subdued, wrapped in a rope, and apparently was going to be taken to their leader, who was no doubt some arrogant half-wit of a king. And to finish it all off, that's when the goblin showed up.
There were few things Melkiv hated in the world, but before him there were three. Horses, goblins, and warlocks. The arrival of the demon summoning lunatic was first a surprise to the guards, who then proceeded to try and subdue the green devil. He would have none of this, instead deciding to summon every demon he could in an effort to demolish the guards. The only thing this accomplished was to make the guards form a protective phalanx at one end of the hallway while also loosening the magical bonds on Melkiv the Distressed, as he had come to calling himself. While the sheer weight of magic thrown at the gnome earlier was enough to subdue him, a simple dabbler in dark magic was less than a challenge. Melkiv restored his own power and began hurling bolts of fire and ice at the demons, managing to down one and send the others running back through the ill conceived portal. He then progressed into a magical duel with the goblin, whom began throwing all kinds of chaotic and burning projectiles at the gnome magician.
The duel began to turn in Melkiv's favor when the strangest thing happened. Both he and his opponent were frozen solid. Not the usual kind of ice that Melkiv was used to pulling from thin air, but ice that fed off his magical attempts to escape. He was now being pulled along on his side by a larger horse, glaring as best he could at the warlock who was dragged opposite. Their destination was unknown, but Melkiv knew without a doubt he would strangle the black clad demon summoner as soon as he was released. What did surprise him, however, was to view and almost Titan-like room which appeared to be the ill feeling trio's destination.
What gave him another slight shock was to see one of his companions from Azeroth standing, arms crossed and obviously unhappy, on the polar opposite side of the room as a blood elf in paladin armor, who looked equally unhappy with the situation. Melkiv noticed a few words going between his captor and a larger horse, who was a winged unicorn with a pure ivory coat and flowing rainbow mane. There was another of the winged unicorn, this one standing beside Melkiv's "friend", with a much darker coat, a very indigo color and a darker variant of the other's mane. The armored unicorn and the ivory alicorn finished their conversation, as far as Melkiv could see, and he suddenly felt much warmer. This could be contributed to the ice surrounding the gnome suddenly disappearing, quickly replaced with a marble floor.
The mage wasted no, time scrambling to his feet before pouncing on the also recently released goblin and wrapping his hands around the unfortunate warlock's neck. He got a satisfying two seconds before promptly being yanked off of the lesser creature by, as he would later find out, Arvenell's darker energies. He was still halfway through the preparations of throwing a fireball at the goblin, who was running to his own friend's side, when a very convincing voice decided to ruin his spell mid-cast.
"CEASE THIS INCESSANT SKIRMISHING AT ONCE!" an unforgiving bombardment of high decibel words from the indigo colored alicorn. Melkiv, who promptly grabbed the sides of his head, was dropped on the ground by his human compatriot.
"By the Titans! What was that?!" Came the gnome's high pitched voice.
"Our somewhat generous hosts, shorty. Better not hit the goblin again, they don't like it when we fight." Came the deep and heavily enchanted voice of the death knight, followed by a small chuckle.
"You would know much about fighting, wouldn't you, death knight." Came the equally enchanted voice of the blood elf paladin.
"You hit first. And if Lady Luna didn't pull me off you I would've finished that fight." Retorted the human.
"You all are going to drive me insane." Said a new voice, originating from the ivory alicorn, moving a hoof to her face.
"Ah'm confused, who're the talkin' ponies?" Came the voice of the goblin, who had peeked out from behind the paladin's boots.
"Shut up!" Answered 4 combined voices, belonging to Arvenell, Melkiv, Celestia, and Luna. The paladin, who merely rolled his eyes, responded in a hushed tone.
"The 'talking ponies' are the ruling monarchs of this kingdom. I would deem it wise you don't insult them. They've already proven more than enough to subdue you once. With their current opinions of us, I doubt they would give second thought to doing it again."
"Yeah, shorty. We're in the presence of goddesses." Added the taunting voice of one irritated sounding human.
"Luna, as much as I hate to stick this ticking time bomb with you, aliens fall under your specialties. And to be quite frank, if I have to listen to the dead one's voice for much longer, I'll get a migraine." Came an even more irritated voice from the white alicorn. As she turned to leave, Arvenell opened his mouth, no doubt to call some joke at the goddess, before thinking it over and shutting it.
With a sigh, the other alicorn stepped into the center of the room and cleared her throat. "Well then, it's time to discuss what could happen here. And, as the work has been nearly doubled, I have even more to talk about."
"Like what?" Came an unconvinced Melkiv.
Their host responded with a smile. "Like how if I deem it worthwhile, my sister and I will obliterate you and spread your little bits all throughout the vast expanses of space."

Author's Note:

Everybody hates gnomes. And from my experience, they hate goblins too.

I don't own either franchise, etc., etc.

If you see anything a tad wrong, please post in the comments.

Comments

[Cadmium]

Nobody hates Gnomes everyone just thinks they are funny and harmless, that is until one of their contraptions explodes or irradiates or vaporizes everything.
Goblins are bit more predictable they just explode, but that with a frequency that makes one wonder how they survived this long.