Raggedy Adventures

by CaptainSanchez

It's a Chameleon Thing

"But it's not a watch, it's a thing, a chameleon thing."
- Martha Jones

Raggedy Adventures

Chapter One, Part Two: It's a Chameleon Thing

Edited by Rain-M24

"Yeah, there's no watch there," I said, turning from Jack to the Doctor. "Doctor, tell your friend that I'm not wearing a watch."

"But you are, Colgate. I don't really want to believe it, but there's no point in denying what I can plainly see. Everything matches up. You might be a Time Charger," the Doctor said.

Looking back, it's kind of funny that he got so choked up. I mean, he was on the verge of tears. Tears. Can you believe it? Of course, given what I now remember about him, it's not too surprising. Oh, wait. Spoilers, right? Sorry. I tend to get off-topic. Have I mentioned that before? Ugh, I'm doing it again. Aw, ponyfeathers. Anyway, the Doctor was so overcome with emotion that he didn't notice that the Zaarthanog was growing. Not just a little bit, but a whole bucking lot.

"Doctor, I think that might need to wait. Turn around."

The Doctor was so overcome that he just did it. Trust me, later on, you'll understand how big of a deal that is. Anyhoof, he turned around, and the Zaarthanog was huge! I mean, it was at least three times its original size. When the Doctor saw it, he gulped. I had no idea why that scared me, but believe you me, it really did. The Doctor looks like he's seen a lot, okay? Besides, shut up.

The Zaarthanog seemed to have decided that the emotional energy the Doctor had allowed it wasn't quite enough. Typical guy, give him a more than generous offer, and he says "screw you," then takes everything. No, I haven't been divorced, I just have a bad history with stallions. It's not my fault, though; I mean, they're so hard to find, I wasn't exactly raised in an area where stallions were abundant! You know what, I don't care what you think of me, you need to hear what the Doctor said to the Zaarthanog.

"Hey! Now that was just rude. Admittedly, I based my calculations on my last body, so they aren't exactly accurate, but-- wait, where's Jack?"

Looking around, I noticed that he was right. The Captain had vanished, and...

"When did that mare get here? No, better question: Miss, how did you get in here? The door is locked, for crying out loud!"

Yes, a strange mare had arrived, and Captain Jack Harness had vanished. This mare was a cream color, with a two-toned red mane, and-- wait a minute! That's Roseluck! What in three haystacks is Roseluck doing here?

"Rose? What are you-- oh, I see. I get it now, very clever," exclaimed the Doctor, who had apparently recognized Roseluck as well.

"Doc, I don't get it, what's Roseluck doing here? Didn't she up and vanish a few years back?"

"Rose used to travel with me, late in my Ninth and early in my Tenth lifetimes. Since I know why, or rather how, she left me, I know exactly what's going on," he said, rather matter-of-factly. "You see," he continued, picking up the sonic screwdriver in his teeth, "Rose got trapped in a parallel universe on an adventure. She came back once, but that was a special case. Last I heard, she heads up that universe's Torchhoof Institute, which Jack heads in this universe. Anyhoof, The walls between the universes are closed, very closed, actually, so she absolutely cannot return. This, of course, means that the Zaarthanog must be attempting to manipulate my emotions. Unfortunately, he's greedy, so he picked two of the ponies that bring up more emotions from me than any others. Jack made some sense, but Roseluck? Not a chance."

When the Zaarthanog heard that, oh, you had to see it. The look on its face: Oh, priceless! The Doctor had been using the sonic on the Rose analogue the whole time, and you can probably guess what happened next: "Rose" turned into a very weird, very blank-looking metal thingy.

"Oh, that's interesting. A psychic-projection drone, clever!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"Doc, do you really think that you should be complimenting the anachronistic galaxy-traveling alien parasite on its intellect?" Whoa. Not a sentence I ever thought I'd use.

"Politeness is key, and I'll get to you later, Rebate," the Doctor said, offhoofedly, while turning from the psychic projection device to the Zaarthanog.

"Now you," he said to the (still very large) Zaarthanog, "have been a very naughty Zaarthanog. I mean, stowing away on a supply ship, stealing a Psycho-Projectron Mk 12 from the planet Stallonious 9, and then toying with the emotions of the oldest, most crafty veteran there is? Clever, I have to admit, but it's mean, and just plain rude. Also, I've complimented you several times now, and you haven't once said 'thank you,' so you're clearly rather rude, as well."

Okay, can you believe it? That Zaarthanog was terrifying, and he spoke to it like a misbehaving little foal! You can't tell me that's not cool. The Zaarthanog seemed to still be reeling from it too, since neither of us realized that the Doctor was still sonic'ing. Well, it got on my nerves a little.

"Doc, what are you even doing with that thing?"

"Oh, you didn't realize? No? Well, Poll Mate, I've been using my lovely sonic screwdriver here to signal the Stirrup Proclamation. Before you ask, they're space cops. Now, I'd estimate that they've been monitoring the entire conversation, and should be here in, oh..." he paused to check his pocket watch, here, then closed it, looked back up, and said: "now."

As soon as he said that, bright light poured in from every window, flooding the room. The ceiling levitated- that's right, they pulled the ceiling off- of the walls, and a bright light (I assume it was some kind of tractor beam or whatever) shot down from the sky, surrounding the Zaarthanog. As it was dragged into the air by the beam, the Doc just kind of looked at the ship (from which the beam originated) until it flew off, when he shouted:

"And don't come back!"

I wish I could tell you that I said something snarky to the Doc, or shouted something witty at the now-gone ship, but I can't. My mind had been blown too much in the last half-hour for me to think clearly. The roof thing was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel's back. The "camel" of course meaning my brain, and its "back" being my ability to roll with the weirdness. A mare can only take so much. The Doctor seemed to notice this, though.

"Hello? Colgate? You there? Well, don't worry, it seems that you've suffered minor shock, but I suppose that's to be expected. After all, this has been a pretty eventful day, and-- my screwdriver!' He then scurried over to a twisted hunk of silver and copper, a pained expression on his face. "My sonic screwdriver...." Okay, that did it.

"My place of business is nearly destroyed, half the town's going to be talking about aliens for the next week, I have to clean the teeth of Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, tomorrow, and you're worried about a screwdriver?! Wait... my name."

"What about it?"

"You got it right... wait! Why are you so upset over your screwdriver, anyway?"

"Oh, that. Well, when I lose something, I generally choose to be overly dramatic, and have a good cry, you know? That way, I can get it out of my system, and move on. Now, we were going to talk about that watch of yours, weren't we?"

Oh, right. Almost forgot.

"Look, it probably doesn't even work. It's... stuck, or something. Let's just move on," I said, trying to reason with him. I mean, so what if I've never really noticed the dull silver watch around my neck before. Then again... I wonder what the inside's like...

"Colgate, what are you doing?"

What was I doing? Oh, I was taking off the watch so I could open it.

"Colgate, you might not want to do that..."

I didn't hear him, well, I did, but it was kind of like... background noise, you know? I was just so focused on that watch... I wasn't thinking, I just... opened it. I remembered. How could I have forgotten? It was all so clear now. I knew who I was.

"Whoa, Doc, memory surge. Long time no see, by the way. Romanadvoratrelundar, at your service."

END OF EPISODE 1

Author's Note:

This. Took. Forever. The hardest part for me was getting past the first few paragraphs, since I honestly had no idea where to go with this. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "I'm a reckless writer." Finally picked a Time Lady for Colgate to be, too. Kinda obvious, really.

Comments

[Captain Lunar]

AWESOME!!!!!!!! You have just earned this!

Appropriate listening music!

Now I just need to sort out MY next chapter