Would Chaos Really Be So Bad?

by CosmicAfro

Chapter Three: Not An Average Park Day

The way the lollypop cloud drifted leisurely in the sky above your shop hinted that today was going to be an exceptionally slow day. Most of the time, chaos was rampant with disharmony as its nearest complement; today appeared to be an exception. Roads actually looked “normal”, as normal as they’d get, and the horizon wasn’t on fire. Perhaps Discord was having an off day. You think that if he’s having an off day, you too should get a day off. It was rare that one needn’t worry about the day-to-day survival and you feel the urge to appreciate it.

And, surprisingly, so did everypony else. Business was slow, but activity outside was not. Really, when the two were juxtaposed, it was like night and day. Of course, it didn’t help that the moon was directly above the shop’s skylight and the sun was in the sky as well, leaving a perfectly straight line on the ground defining day and night. In other words, a literal juxtaposition to your own.

The door unexpectedly opens and a guitar solo (Was that… journey?) echoes from the bell. To your astonishment, it’s your wife. “Honey, what are you doing here?”

She flips her mane out of her eyes as she effortlessly glides past the daffodils. “I got a big lunch hour today and I thought I’d visit you.” She approaches the counter and rests her front hooves on the front, eyeing the violets in the jar. “May I?”

“Of course, have one.”

She gingerly lifts a hoof and picks a violet out. With a smile on her face, she eats it. “You grow the best flowers, dear.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, Chitin, but my wife doesn't like violets.”

Your not-wife goes wide-eyed as it realizes it’s been caught. Spitting out the treat as if it was rancid, your wife morphs into a changeling with azure eyes. Yup, it was definitely Chitin. “Well, that’s just another thing to remember,” she says like she’s adding it to her mental notebook. It always surprised you how pony-like she sounded. Her natural accent wasn't even close to changeling. “Shame, and I thought I’d get it this time.” She rubs the base of her horn and blushes. The blue on her cheeks reminds you of the Blue Cupid’s Dart flowers, the closest tone anyways.

“Chitin, we’ve been over this...” You don’t exactly dislike Chitin, but her persistence on trying to feed on your love was getting more than aggravating. At least when she wasn’t hungry she was good company. “No matter how hard you try, I know it’s you.”

She flitters her wings and gets eye level with you. “If Queen Chrysalis the Eighth can do it, I can too.”

Again, at least she was persistent. “So, what can I get for you?” you ask politely, changing the subject. Your emotional parasite friend takes it with a grain of salt. You and her both know she’s tried the same routine for a while and you jumping to the next point immediately was beginning to show. She starts with a polite cough.

“Actually, I meant what I said earlier.” She drops to the ground and lands on her hooves. “I got a whole hour to spend and nowhere to spend it.”

Well, the shop was slow today. You wouldn’t mind having Chitin as a guest for a while. “Well, if you’d like I could close the shop for a while and we could go get something.” Your stomach growls in agreement. Sure, you were in a flower shop filled with delectable treats and gifts, but making it your diet was a bad thing. You’ve seen ponies who eat only flowers… it’s not pretty.

“I heard there’s a Pic-Shop in the park today. The sun’s going to be over it for some time so they opened up again.”

You feel your eyebrow raise. “Pic-Shop?”

“Yeah, it’s a restaurant that lends out picnic baskets filled with food and those sitting tarps! You eat what’s inside and then you give the basket and blanket back. You’ve never been to one?”

You can’t say that you have and your shrug tells her the rest.

“Ok, it’s settled. We’ll go to the Pic-Shop. Couples go there too and I wouldn’t mind an afternoon snack.” She leans up against the counter and lets her eyes droop alluringly. “But we could st-“

“No.”

“Can’t blame a changeling for trying. Come on, grumpy, let’s go.”

~~~

The park looked phenomenal. There was green grass everywhere, trees weren’t texturized with quilt patterns, and there wasn’t an explosion anywhere. Even better, the sky was turquoise, an actual shade of blue! It was like the area was in a pocket of complete sanity. It looked natural. Part of you feared what that meant for Discord. If there were pockets or normal floating around, something was up… or a huge storm was bound to happen. You’ll definitely be checking with the weather patrols for the time being.

But you weren’t here to predict your demise, you were here with Chitin. As you walked up to the East Arch, ponies and couples of ponies gave you a passing glance. But, they gave more glares to Chitin. Sure, Changelings had integrated into society completely centuries ago, but their form of eating was still frowned upon. Having a relationship with one, even professional, was deemed indecent.

Knowing Chitin for as long as you have, she wouldn’t hurt a fly. You had once met with her accomplices who ran a dating newspaper and they were all fine, even well mannered. They weren’t the stereotypical love-seeking drones ponies and gryphons made them out to be. She walks beside you like a business partner, knowing the ground you both tread.

True to her word, there was a brown unicorn with a grey mane and tail standing at a stall labeled “Pic-Shop: Lunch with your bunch!” he had some slight baggage under his eyes as if he’d been at it for a while and looked like he could use a break. The way he attempted enthusiasm certainly proved your suspicions.

Your changeling companion is the first to speak up and orders a package for two. You reach to help pay, but she insists that she take this tab. The stallion cocks an eyebrow and asks if you’re together. Perhaps unsurprisingly at this point, Chitin replies, “Nah, that’s my brother, Xylex.”

Fun part is, nobody really knew except for you two if that was true since Changelings could morph. Eavesdroppers usually had a fair share of paranoia attacks at this time and the stallion behind the stall apologized for his assumption. Just today, you roll with it, just to give those passersby’s something to think about.

Weird… changeling relationships were ok… and so were pony and gryphon relationships. Heck, a dragon and a minotaur were wed once, but why was this specific set so odd. Even in chaos there was still discrimination.

You pick a spot near the edge of the picnic zone as determined by the signs with ribbon running between them. It’s away from most of the other customers and you don’t want anything to do with ponies who think badly of your friends for no reason.

“Thanks for paying, I’ll take it next time.”

She eyes you with a glimmer in her eyes. “You mean, there will be a next time!?”

Oops, you should have worded that one better. “Yeah, but just as friends, Chitin.”

You open the basket and find a daisy sandwich, some orange juice, sweetened hay fries, a still frosty shake activated by drinking (unicorn magic was awesome, you had to admit), and some assorted candies. “Wow, that’s a lot for just one.”

Chitin shrugs. She sits on her hind legs and activates her horn, closing her eyes to concentrate. It was best not to disturb her while she silently feasted on couple’s romance. Typically where happy couples turned into an argument, that’s where a changeling was at work. You watch for a moment, munching on the sandwich, as two gryphons at the far side of the picnic area look like they’re bickering in hushed voices.

“Ahh, nice,” she says with a satisfied exhale. “That will keep me for a few days.”

You gulp, part fear part food. You look up at the sky. Normally, the park was filled with wild trees and disco music. But today, birds were chirping to ragtime music and a calm breeze was sweeping through the blades of grass so effortlessly, it looked so… natural.

And it worried you, parks were not meant to be so pleasant. They were meant as a dumping ground and warzone for extra chaos that piled up in city lives. Why wasn’t there a scorpion that shot a laser out of its tail the size of a farm silo? Why wasn’t there a flock of pillows flying in the sky that occasionally “dropped” quarter-Dracons and baby teeth?

Chitin pokes you in the side. “Hey, you ok? It’s not like you to space out.”

You shake it off. Maybe you should enjoy this breath of fresh air. “Yeah, I’m ok. It’s just, the weather’s really nice today and I’m worried.”

She nods. “I can see where you’re coming from. It’s like the eye of a really bad storm or when you take your boyfriend to the movies and he runs into his X. The good part was going to the movies, but-“

You had just been thinking about storms too. “I get it, Chitin.”

“Wanna go to the movies?”

You roll your eyes and can’t help but laugh a little. “No thanks, but I appreciate it.”

You two mostly sit in silence, absorbing the sun’s rays. After you finish your meal, you lie down on your back and look up at the sky. It’s a shame that it wouldn’t look like this for much longer, you wished all parks could stay like this. Knowing Discord though, he always dished out a new wave of chaos three-fold of the last to compensate for normal-anomalies.

“Hey, Chitin.”

“Hmm?”

You look to your left and see she’s lying down too. “Why me?”

“Why you what?”

“Why pester me all the time for love with my wife?”

She’s silent for a moment and then chuckles as if the answer was obvious. “Well, marriages don’t happen too often here. Chaos usually separates people, physically or mentally. So when a pact is formed, a girl’s gotta take what she can get. Love like yours is hard to come by. If you didn’t live in such a suburban town like this one, you’d be swarmed by changelings like me.”

“So I bet you don’t talk much about us, right?”

“Bingo.”

And that’s why you kept Chitin around, besides her good company. She must have been spreading lies, or at least not mentioning you, to both protect you and have you to herself. It was like unknowingly paying a bodyguard. You know she must be silently seeping off your love for your wife sometimes, but it’s honestly ok with you. You’re not sure how your wife would react if she knew… maybe it’d be better if she accidentally found out or it never came up. She was kind of picky about things.

An odd idea crosses your mind like the sudden impact of a meteor. “Hey, Chitin.”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go see a movie. I’ll buy, popcorn and all.”

She bounces up. “Really?”

“Sure, why not. Also, we’ll want to leave in like ten seconds.”

“Why’s that?”

“METEOR!”

Author's Note:

Gosh dang it, Discord. Now I get it, you clever thing you, you made the park all nice so everyone would go to it. And then you tried to squish them. Brilliant.

So, we've established that on an average day anything can and could go wrong, grocery stores are equivalent to a three dimensional NASCAR, and parks are war zones. I wonder what riding a train is like.

Comments

[garfan]

well, everything I've seen so far says Celestia is right about chaos and disharmony.

[CosmicAfro]

2143927
Ahh, so far, yes. Meteors due tend to immediately shift one's mind towards the negative.

[Clemerl]

parks were not meant to be so pleasant. They were meant as a dumping ground and warzone for extra chaos that piled up in city lives. Why wasn’t there a scorpion that shot a laser out of its tail the size of a farm silo? Why wasn’t there a flock of pillows flying in the sky that occasionally “dropped” quarter-Dracons and baby teeth?

....Well. That, I should have seen coming.

[CosmicAfro]

2144237
H-how could you have seen this specific instance coming? Or did you mean the idea in general, which I understand.

[Clemerl]

2144528The idea.

[Johnyapple]

That poor recurring flower ship owner :P he's the best!

[CosmicAfro]

2145335
No no, you're the best... because you are the flower shop owner. It's also difficult to write the "average joe" in a world of Chaos, you know that?

Also, flower ship. Added cruises to the list. Thanks.