Chrysalis flew through the air, unable to control her flight path. She had just been blasted out of Canterlot, and was still sailing through the air. Her changelings were being spread across all of Equestria. Her pride was smashed. And it felt like one of her wings was as well. The day couldn’t get any worse for her. The only highlight was her trajectory. It would take her straight to the hive. Chrysalis turned around, aligning herself so her back would take the brunt of the impact. It was the strongest part of her body after all.
I did go overboard with the whole invasion thing. She thought to herself. Perhaps I should have just snuck in. Then again, with that damn shield, there was no way we would all get in. I wonder why Twilight was so mad at me... Chrysalis thought on it for awhile, unable to come up with an answer. With a shrug, she moved on. I had hoped to find Luna. She was always kind to us. I hope my children are okay... She closed her eyes, relaxed, and waited.
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It felt like minutes, but just as easily could’ve been hours, later that Chrysalis awoke. She rolled over, stretching as she stood. Looking around she noticed that she had in fact arrived at the hive. To be more precise, she had smashed through it, destroying it upon landing. Which had broken her other wing. Looks like it did get worse. Can’t fix them though, need to help my children first. She sighed in defeat, mentally adding repairing the hive to her list of things to do.
First though, she had to check to see how many of her changelings had survived. She closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, searching for the Hive that all changelings were a part of. While they had their individuality, and were not forced to follow the Hive, it tied them all together, made them a whole, one that was greater than the parts.
She was glad to find that most of her changelings had survived. There were many that were unaccounted for, but many more were recovering around the world, connecting to the hive, wondering what to do next. “My changelings, hear me. We have failed. I have failed.” She thought out, speaking to her subject. The Hive, though buzzing with conversations before, now fell silent, as everypony listened to their queen. “Return to the hive. I will send along what love I can to those who need it most. Unfortunately upon landing, I crashed through the hive. I will have to repair it. Go.” And with that she pulled out, turning to face the wreckage of her home.
Lowering her horn, she began to levitate the pieces, slowly fixing them. The hive was made of much the same material as the cocoon she had used to trap Celestia, and so stuck to itself well. Though it used most of her remaining power, she slowly managed to fix the hive.
Chrysalis sat down, exhausted, and closed her eyes again. She felt out amongst her subjects, sending healing love to those who needed it, taking what she could from those who didn’t. As she watched her changelings regroup, she smiled, admiring their resourcefulness. She had long since started training them to always seek out love where they could, and siphon what they could, without being noticed. After all, they merely needed to be in the vicinity of loving ponies to siphon it off.
Slowly the first of the changelings began to trickle into their clearing. Many had come in disguise, dropping it as they entered the clearing. Many more were stuck though, either fully transformed, or, in rare cases, partially. She used what magic and love she could to help them change back. Slowly her numbers grew, as more and more changelings managed to return. Perhaps we can find another place full of love.
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Twilight and her friends sat around a table, laughing together. However, although she was seated with them, Celestia was silent, her eyes staring off into the distance. Twilight soon picked up on this, turning to face her mentor. “Princess, what’s bothering you? Pinkie’s joke about the oatmeal was hilarious, and you hardly reacted.”
Celestia turned to face Twilight, slightly surprised. “I’m sorry Twilight. I’ve just got a lot on my mind is all.”
“Like what sugacube?” Applejack asked, smiling happily.
“Ya! Nopony should be all mopey right now!” Pinkie exclaimed. “We beat those nasty changelings and sent them flying away!”
“That’s just it.” Celestia hung her head. “The queen revealed herself, and I fought her. And I lost. I didn’t protect Equestria. It was your distraction that allowed Cadence to free Shining so they could save us all. I failed.” The Elements stared at her, at a loss for words. It hadn’t occurred to them that Celestia was taking her defeat this badly. “What good am I as your princess if I can’t protect you?”
“Princess, you’ve taken care of us for millennia. Without you, Nightmare Moon would be ruling this world. And we likely would have all died off from the eternal darkness.” Twilight replied, trying to cheer her mentor up.
“Without me, Luna would have never fallen to become Nightmare.” Celestia retorted. “She would have happily ruled over the night and day. And all I did by banishing her was prolong it, and eventually push it onto you. And the same with Discord. Again, I just pushed my problems to you.”
“Dear, please.” Rarity spoke up. “Without you we would have never met Twilight. That’s enough for you to stay. And just because you were unable to stop a few threats doesn’t make you any less qualified to rule us. Why, no matter how powerful or immortal you may be, you’re still just one pony. You can’t do everything. And just because you’re our ruler doesn’t mean you have to protect us. What would we ponies do if you solved all our problems?”
The others nodded with Rarity, smiling. Celestia looked up, starting to smile. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
As the group went back to talking, Celestia taking part this time, a certain blue pony trotted over. “Hello everypony. So seriously, what did I miss?” Luna took a seat between Twilight and her sister, stroking Twilight’s leg with her hoof under the table, causing Twilight to blush lightly. “I was told the wedding was to take place this morning, with the after party in the afternoon. Instead it seems that everything was pushed back by a few hours.”
The others at the table turned to Luna, all somewhat annoyed. “We were invaded by the changelings sister.” Luna turned to face Celestia, both alicorn’s faces sour. “Where were you during all this? We barely escaped with our lives! I needed you!” She exclaimed, on the verge of yelling.
Luna stared at her sister, slightly annoyed. “So the changelings invaded.” Celestia nodded, to which Luna rolled her eyes. “This morning, interrupting the wedding?” Again a nod. Luna brought her hoof to her face, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Opening them, she looked at her sister and said “I was exactly where I am everyday after I set the moon. In my room. In my bed. ASLEEP. I was sound asleep Tia! If you needed help why didn’t you send anypony to wake me?” She asked indignantly.
The faces of each of the Elements of harmony fell, all of them realizing how obvious her answer was. Celestia stuttered for a second, trying to find a rebuttal. Realizing she had none, her face fell, though it stayed annoyed. “I thought an invasion would wake you sister,” she mumbled
“Tia, I slept through Discord getting free. Why would an invasion wake me?” Luna sighed, turning away from her sister. “Well, what actually happened? How did you repel them?” Though Luna was curious, she was also annoyed. She happened to quite like the changelings, and sympathized with them. As she heard the tale of what happened, her mood turned from bad to worse. “So you’re telling me, that you forcefully ejected a race who feeds upon love, simply because you were scared of them?”
“They were trying to take over Canterlot! And they were going to hurt all of us, just like Chrysalis hurt my brother!” Twilight replied, shaken by Luna’s suddenly very sour mood.
Luna turned to glare at Twilight. “Did it ever occur to you that they might have been invading because they were starving? As a changeling starts to run low on food, their body starts to fall apart. If they go too long without food, they fade away completely. From how you’ve described them, this was a desperate attempt to feed themselves! And how do you know it would hurt to be fed off of? Did any of you try it? Did Shining look hurt?”
“He could barely stand when Cadence freed him from her control!” Twilight yelled back, annoyed. “You expect me to believe he wasn’t hurt?”
“He had just been freed from a mind control spell Twilight. He could barely think, let alone stand. And the only reason Chrysalis used the mind control was because she knew she couldn’t fool your brother.” Luna yelled back. “Again, I ask, did any of you let them feed off you?”
The elements stared at Luna stunned. Twilight hung her head, realizing the truth in Luna’s words, and having nothing left to argue with. Five of them slowly shook their heads, admitting to not knowing how the changelings actually fed. They then all turned to Fluttershy, who had tried to shrink under the table. Realizing they wanted to know why she hadn’t shook her head, Fluttershy spoke. “I did. It was actually kinda nice. As we were being taken back to the queen the changeling who had me almost fainted. I was about to run away from him when, I realized, I couldn’t.” Fluttershy’s voice was quiet, just loud enough to be heard. “I looked at him, just laying there, barely able to move. He looked so helpless. I wrapped a wing around him, helping him up. He gave me a smile, and nuzzled me. I felt a little weird, but then he was back up to full strength. He was very nice as he led me back.”
Luna smiled, glad to see at least the Element of Kindness lived up to her title. The others stared at her. “Changelings don’t have to replace somepony you love to feed off love.” Luna explained. “That is the best way for them to feed, love directed at them, but a skilled changeling can survive on the love that ponies feel for each other. Spending just an hour in Canterlot, at the wedding, would have fed them for hundreds of years. Instead they had to break in, just to get close enough to feed off the love. And then they get kicked over after a few minutes of feeling nothing but fear.” Luna shook her head, still very annoyed. “Now, Celestia.” She said, rounding on her sister. Celestia looked up, slightly worried. “What was this threat that was made against Canterlot? And don’t try to lie, previous Element of Honesty.” Luna growled through gritted teeth.
Celestia flinched as Luna brought up her old title. The others gasped, not knowing which Element Celestia had been. After a moment Celestia wilted, admitting, “There was no threat. Chrysalis had sent me many letters asking to bring her subjects into Canterlot, saying they were starving. I ignored them at first, but eventually, I denied her entrance. Told her she would never be welcome in Equestria again, not after what she did the last time she was here.”
Luna placed her head in her hooves again. “You xenaphobe. All she did was impersonate you, gather the love sent to her, and feed her children.” Luna stood, staring down her sister. “What could possess you to do this Sister?” Luna turned her back to Celestia, striking her wing against her sister’s cheek. “While it was Cadence and Shining who sent them out, it was because you made them out to be evil monsters. Chrysalis was once my friend Tia. I intend to help them, even if you won’t.” And with that, Luna left, mumbling to herself angrily.
Pretty good so far
At first I did not really like the idea, but man the way you put it, it's great! I like it very much :) faved n thumbd! :)
2085301 Out of curiosity, what about the idea did you not like?
I very much like where this is going. I hope everypony feels horrible now for what they did to the Changelings, everypony except for Fluttershy. Good ol' element of kindness always pulls through.
This could be good, but I don't like Luna's reasons for getting angry, she presumes alot, and everyone else just seems to forget what happened.
Magnificent.
2085459 Well, Luna's reasons will be better explained soon. And what do you mean it seems like everyone else forgot what just happened?
Wonderful. And just like I always thought, I never thought changelings were evil. Very good start, a few minor mistakes. Like maybe one or two. But you sir, have earned a like and a favourite.
I see a whole lot of changeling apologist going on but I am willing to give things a chance...
with an AU tag ... maby things would be different.
Cadance was trapped under Canterlot castle for several WEEKS with no food or water. That is not something a "we were just looking for a snack Chrysalis would do". That is more of a "I hate you, DIE kind of Chrysalis ".
Chrysalis's whole "I will feed off all your ponies" song followed by the "I just kicked your asses Time To FEED" song does not lead me to think that there was ANY kindness involved in Chrysalis's thinking .. at all...
During the invasion we see changelings physically beat up and trap ponies. The "I want to Hurt You and Feed" beat you up not the "lets Hug" kind...
etc...
Most importantly ...
(according to this story) Fluttershy had a choice and she Chose to give some love to a changeling.
No one else did.
Not Nice Chrissy! you do NOT have the right to Take what you want! Go back to your hive and Stay There till you know what you did wrong!
Like i said .. as an AU this could be an Awesome story but it does not quite match up to the cannon episode...
2086046 It never said weeks. It fact, it never said how long. It could have been just a few days. And if it had been weeks, then the only way Cadence would have survived is if they kept her alive intentionally.
What song are you referring too? the "this day" aria never said anything about harming the ponies.
There wasn't a single depiction of violence in the whole episode done by the changelings. Except for the battle between them and The elements. And given that they don't want to be kicked out, it's perfectly understandable. The only ponies they trap are the guards, who would be trying to force them out. Again, understandable. And if changelings feed off love, why would they ever try to harm other ponies? How could they feed off love then?
Fluttershy was the only one who got that choice. None of the other changelings escorting them back fainted, so as I can have it that Fluttershy was at the back, she was the only one who was even given the chance to help them.
And if you don't like the idea behind the story, you don't have to read it......
2085576 they didn't mention several things that happened in the episode, other than that tbh, this is a good start. (sequel / start / w/e)
2086108
I Never said i did not like the story. I am sorry if i did not make that clear.
I just dont think it fits in with show cannon.
I must have watched a different This Day Aria than you did. Chrissy and her people were not exactly gentle with the ponies they were leaching love off of. Maniacal laughter , Check. heck look at her lyrics ...
or
"How dare you get angry with changelings feeding off you without your consent!" coming from Luna is kinda surprising but then again a thousand years ago she tried to force "eternal night" on the rest of the world so "If you wont choose to love me then i will Force you to love me!" is kinda in character from her...
FWIW Parasites kill their hosts all the time.
I am just trying to understand your story and the world you are building.
Understatement Of The Year!
2086640 Well, please allow me to refute your comment again. To start, again, the changelings never fight or harm anypony other than the Elements. We see one scene of them stalking up to a group of cowering ponies, though, as in this story they can feed off the love in the air around them, and I would expect those huddling ponies to be feeling both fear at the changelings, but also love for eachother, there is food for them to have. We then get another scene of them holding the guards captive, though as I said, there is a simple reason, they don't want to be kicked out.
Continuing on, in your first quote, I see nothing evil in that bit. She is stating that she feels no love for Shining, but that she still want's the marriage, and in my story, it's so she can feed off the love and give it to her children. In the second one, again, nothing exactly evil. And should they be starving, as they are in my fic, then Chrysalis controlling then, feeding off the love, makes sense.
Next, Luna doesn't say that. At all. What she's mad at is that the Elements never gave the Changelings a chance. She's mad that they just assumed they were evil without trying to figure it out for themselves. True they didn't exactly present themselves the best, but they weren't given a chance. Chrysalis never attacked anypony herself, it was Celestia who stuck first in their little battle, Chrysalis retaliated. She never showed any intention of harming Celestia until then, and even that can be said to have been done in self defense rather than malice.
And the changelings had to break in to be able to feed, not exactly leading to the best relations, but neither can it be called evil. If they are going to feed on the love in Canterlot, they can't be miles away, and there was no way to take down the barrier, so they had to destroy it.
It seems like you might have a bit of Draco In Leather Pants going on with the changelings, here. Though, if you could somehow explain all of their behavior in the episode as somehow benign, you *MIGHT* be able to work it out. And I say might very loosely.
Also, you need to have paragraph breaks for new speakers.
2798790 I'm not sure what you mean about 'Draco in Leather Pants.' I'm afraid I don't get the reference. Also, you don't seem to like the premise I'm going with in the first place. To you I say, you don't have to read this. No one is forcing you to read this story, or to even acknowledge it's existence.
And I do have paragraph breaks for new speakers. If there is one you find that doesn't, please, tell me where, and I will fix it.
2802176 No, no one is forcing me to read the story; I am just telling you that you have a difficult road ahead of you if you want to realistically portray the changelings, (who in the canon are essentially bloodthirsty parasites), as good guys, you have a LOT of work to do. Again, if it were done well, the idea could be brilliant, and I am willing to give this fic a chance on that. I am not at all questioning your ability to do so, as what I have read so far shows promise.
However, if done wrong, you might end up with a Draco in Leather Pants scenario, in which someone who is uncategorically a villain in the canon of the story is portrayed as a good guy in fanon or fan-fiction, without reasonable explanation. The reference comes from Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series, who was often portrayed in HP fanfic as a good guy, but without much explanation as to his motivation, or any rhyme or reason. That's the key, and if you have reasonable explanation, then you can pull it off.
Though it doesn't look like you're still working on the fic, unfortunately. I would encourage you to continue it just to flesh out this idea and see where you could go with it.
I don't hold the premise against you, and I think it could be an interesting premise if done right. It's actually kind of a novel idea. All I am asking for is a LOT of exposition and explanation with how the canon portrayal of the changelings differs from your portrayal, and a reasonable explanation why. It looks like others in the comments have already addressed this. This is something I do in my own stories, because I work with premises probably just as far-fetched, if not more so (in the eyes of a common reader) as "the changelings were good all along."
My premises include "Celestia hates the unicorns" and "King Sombra was little more than a junkie." So, believe me, I am willing to give almost any fan-fiction with almost any premise a shot, given what I myself write
That's all I'm getting at, and if I seemed snippy or dismissive then I apologize.
The paragraph breaks should be whenever dialogue is introduced. So in this paragraph,
I'd include a paragraph break right here:
You also need a comma after spoke, rather than a period. Hope that helps.
2804210 Well, thank you for explaining the reference. I got the Harry Potter bit, but not your full meaning. And, as I believe I have stated, though the comment may be gone, nothing the changelings did in the episode was exactly evil. You say
however, I disagree. The only ponies they in some way harm, or even do anything to, are the two guard ponies, shown trapped in the goo, and Celestia, who they needed to keep out of the way. They are never shown hurting ponies in any way. There is one scene of them advancing on a small family, but again, nothing evil is shown. While it may have been implied, that still leaves room for me as a writer to take it however I want. So, I'm going to say I don't have as much work cut out for me as you think. By characterizing Celestia as a xenophobe, and showing Chrysalis as not knowing the full implications of what she had done, I think I've covered the bases quiet well.
And to make a reference that came to me, you can no more punish the changelings for wanting to be in Canterlot, during the wedding, given my head canon, than you can punish Jean Valjean for stealing a loaf of bread. Now, I know they are both punished, quite harshly, considering the crime, but I believe my reference stands.
As for the place you say I should have a paragraph break, well I don't need one. And I don't feel like putting one in there. I feel it would break up the action, in a way I don't want. I want that part to simply flow.
Lastly, about the 'coma splice.' I don't think I do need one. Now, I'm not a professional writer, nor did I pay much attention in my English classes, but I have a decent grasp of the language. Here, I am using the past tense of 'to speak,' becoming 'spoke.' I am not using any form of 'to say.' As you say something, and do not speak something, speak being more of a definitive action, which can stand alone, whereas say requires something to be said, I feel I can end the sentence on a period. Since you have brought it up though, I will ask some people I trust, and learn from them.