Ummm, how recently was this edited? I was planning on going through and fixing some of the smaller errors. I read it last night and a big amount of the problems was sumply the wrong word.
I don't want to do it and find that it is already done.
Ok, "strap off my back-up" Ermm, strap on or take off your backpack? "While walking home one afternoon, when I" When is unnecessary "The bed I am lying in seems like a comfortable pile" Pillow? "Is this... Is this clouds?" Better with 'are these clouds? I should have it done later today
Ummm, how recently was this edited? I was planning on going through and fixing some of the smaller errors. I read it last night and a big amount of the problems was sumply the wrong word.
I don't want to do it and find that it is already done.
Ok, "strap off my back-up" Ermm, strap on or take off your backpack?
"While walking home one afternoon, when I" When is unnecessary
"The bed I am lying in seems like a comfortable pile" Pillow?
"Is this... Is this clouds?" Better with 'are these clouds?
I should have it done later today
You from first to second person a few times. Pick one and stick to it. It will flow much better that way.