Morning Star

by Radiant Dawn

Chapter 8: Revelations

Chapter 8: Revelations

No...no no no, this can’t be possible...this can’t happen.

“Bad, bad bad bad bad bad...” I voiced openly to myself as I paced the desolate field of the Everfree. What was wrong with me? It was true that Fluttershy was the eldest of her friends at nineteen years of age, but that still meant I was some eons older than her. This was wrong...it would be akin to courting a youngling of my people.

I was at odds with myself now. Cygnus once told me that we cannot control who or what we care about, and it was a teaching I still held close at hand for times such as these, but in this case it wasn’t helping. I was not supposed to care for one so young...not in this way, in any case.

The worst part about it however, was that now that I knew the possibility of what I felt for the young pegasus...I was excited. I was excited by the prospect, though also very, very afraid. Everything my morals taught me said it was wrong...

What to do?

I needed to talk to someone about this...someone who had experience in such a connection, but I realized that I knew not if any of my friends were even romantically involved with another, let alone if they had in the past. It meant that unless I decided to swallow my pride and ask one of them about it, I was on my own.

Right...that’s never going to happen.

I’d fought off some of the most voracious enemies my people have ever known...the shadowbeasts. So what if this was a brand new experience...I could handle it....

Right?

I snarled and pushed the unsure thoughts away. For the time being, I could not think about that. Rainbow Dash had been rather worried about me, and she was one of the friends I was closest to, so with that in mind I shifted to my pegasus form and took to the skies toward the home of Rainbow Dash.

---

I approached the large cloud tower that was the home of Rainbow Dash and caught a glimpse of her through one of the open windows, napping on a sofa-like piece of furniture with her pet tortoise, Tank, resting on her back. In honesty she was rather cute, though I knew for a fact that she would never wish to be referred to as such, so after a few moments of taking in the endearing sight, I made my way to the front door and knocked loudly a few times.

My sharp hearing picked up a groan from inside followed by what sounded like someone falling onto the plush floor, and then a few moments later, I was greeted by a bleary-eyed pegasus.

Her eyes widened in surprise and she stammered, “V-Vega! Oh my gosh, are you okay? Are you feeling better? What happened? Are you-”

I stopped her rambling with a hoof to her mouth and just chuckled. “I’m fine, Rainbow Dash. I just had a few things I had to work out, but everything’s alright now.”

As I dropped my hoof from her mouth, her eyebrow raised. “Are you sure? I mean, I get a little mad sometimes, but I’ve never destroyed a forest.”

I shrugged. “We all have our own ways of coping. I did that out in an area that could recover quickly, and where no ponies or animals would be hurt. I just didn’t want to hurt any of you is all.”

Rainbow Dash sighed as her eyes closed. “I can’t say I agree with you wanting to go all off on your own like that, but I guess you’re right...we all have our own ways of dealing with things.” She then opened her eyes and gazed directly at me. “Just promise me that you’ll try and talk with one of us if you get all flustered like that again, alright? We’re your friends, and we care about you, Vega.”

I smirked and commented, “That’s rather ‘mushy’ of you. I think I like this new side to you.”

“Tell anypony about it and I’ll knock your lights out.” she growled.

I chuckled. “Aaaaand it’s gone.”

“Fluttershy’s really the only one I feel comfortable talking about feelings with.” she admitted as she stroked the shell of her pet. “She just...I don’t know. She knows things about me that no pony else does...and with her, that’s okay. I trust her.”

I nodded slowly with a smile. “That sounds like a wonderful friend.”

Rainbow Dash looked at me with a grin and sighed happily. “The best. I don’t know what I’d do without her, Vega...she means everything to me...even more than the Wonderbolts.” She shrugged as she laid back against her cloud sofa. “The world just wouldn’t matter as much without her in it, know what I mean?”

Without meaning to, my thoughts turned to the kind yellow pegasus...and I began to smile. I nodded slowly and replied, “Yes...I know exactly what you mean, Rainbow Dash.”

For a few moments, I was left to my own thoughts of our mutual friend, until Rainbow Dash asked, “You really like her, huh?”

I raised an eyebrow as I turned to her. “Well of course I do, she’s a very close friend.”

“No, I mean you like her.” she reiterated with a raise of her eyebrows.

It took me a moment to catch on to what she was implying, and I nearly fell over in shock. “W-what? No! I-I mean, well...I...”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she giggled. “Come on Vega, I’m not all into the whole lovey-dovey stuff like Rarity is, and I’ve been told I’m not the most observant mare, but even I can see that you feel something for Fluttershy that’s different from the rest of us...more than just friendship.” The cyan mare then nudged me softly and added, “Whatever you’re doing that’s making you drag your hooves in telling her, don’t take too long. There’s a lot of stallions and mares with their eyes on her.”

I looked to her and asked, “Eyes on her for what?”

“For a marefriend...or a ‘mate’ as you like to call it.” Rainbow Dash replied smugly.

For some reason, this awakened the primal side of me...the need to protect what was mine. I quickly fought this instinct down however, reminding myself that Fluttershy was not mine...and I didn’t think she could be. It just would not be right, seeing as how I was many lifetimes older than her...besides the fact that we were completely different species. Whether or not I could take the shape of a pony, the fact would always remain that I wasn’t one.

I didn’t belong here.

Before I could think too long on the passing thought, I trotted towards the door with a simple, “I have to leave.” I then took to the skies and flew towards Canterlot.

---

I arrived nearly an hour later and landed at the carriage arrival dock outside the palace, which was the only place that was legal to fly within the limits of the palace.

As I approached the palace, I was stopped at the gate by a duo of guards, and the one on the left stated, “Halt! Please provide a letter of invitation from one of the princesses or leave. There are no unauthorized entries allowed.”

I didn’t have such a letter and didn’t wish to cause an uproar by just forcing my way in, so I walked away towards the city.

---

I had been trudging the streets for nearly four hours, and night had begun to fall as the moon peeked over the horizon to the west. Ponies were closing up their shops and heading home, and the nightlife of Canterlot took its place.

I had found myself in a lovely garden, simply dubbed “The Canterlot Gardens”. It was well-tended, most likely by ponies specifically employed to do so, and though it was a comparatively small piece of land compared to the rest of Canterlot, is was wrought with a beauty that allowed my mind to calm and the ache in my heart to subside, if only for a moment. Much as it disappointed me, the fact of the matter was that I did not belong here in Equestria. I was dangerous, volatile, and far too old to be falling in love with ponies.

I once again questioned All-Mother’s reason for bringing me here, though with heartache instead of anger.

Once again, I found myself isolated. I began to realize more and more that my place here was a mockery in and of itself. In a society that abhorred consumption of meat, I was an omnivore. In a place that was largely non-violent, I was extremely dangerous and explosive...so much so that sometimes I purposefully sought to hunt, simply to sate my need for a fight. I was beyond the age of all who lived, save for the two princesses that ruled, and so could never hope to find a mate of any kind. My friends treated me as if I were like them, though the truth was that I was very different from them. By the stars, I even had to hide my true shape just to blend in.

I didn’t belong here.

As the despair and shadows of loneliness began to consume me, I wept by the fountain that portrayed the two beautiful princesses.

---

Perspective change ‒ Princess Luna

“Lightning Quill, please take note.” I spoke to my assistant. The young unicorn colt levitated his writing instrument and an open scroll before looking to me, so I continued.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Though I fully understand the importance of safety in Ponyville, I do not think it prudent to cause an unnecessary panic. Please continue to observe the situation, and see if you can discern the cause behind the deforestation within the Everfree. If there is reputable danger involved, please advise me immediately, and I will send a detachment of the guard to accompany you...but only if there is true danger.

With love,

Princess Luna of the Night”

I then looked to my assistant with a smile. “Please tip the mailpony ten bits and ask him to make haste.”

The colt nodded before rolling up the scroll. “Understood, princess. Will there be anything else?”

I shook my head as we exited the palace near the Royal Gardens. “No, that is all for the time being. I thank you for your assistance, my friend. Rest well.”

“Thank you, princess. I will have the letter sent first thing in the morning. Goodnight.” the colt responded before trotting away, leaving me to gaze upon the night with a smile.

It had been quite a while since I had resumed my duties as ruler beside my sister, and even now I could not help but feel content merely to be with her again. It was times like this that I realized just how petty my jealousy those thousand years ago had been...it was not worth the heartache it caused both of us.

Perhaps I could bring pride to myself and sister again.

I turned my head to my left and announced, “I am taking a leisurely flight in Ponyville. I request two of the Night Guard to accompany me.” Before I could blink, two powerful-looking gray pegasi landed and saluted me. I grinned and inclined my head to the sky. “Thank you both. Let us be off.”

---

The night air was lovely, and the sky was clear of clouds, which allowed an unfettered view of my night. It was a view I reveled in, because with thanks to Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy, I knew for a fact that many ponies loved my night. They would hold parties during it, they would court each other during it, and some, such as Fluttershy, would simply gaze at the sky with wonder and awe.

In my youth, I enjoyed the nightlife of Canterlot quite a bit, though with my coronation, spending my nights in such a way became a past I was unable to revisit.

Nonetheless, the night was my realm of power and revelry, and I enjoyed the charge I was given. Even after so much time tending it, every night felt special...even more so because of the few ponies that were special to me. Fluttershy, Twilight, Lyra...

Vega...

It was because of these few and one or two others that I felt so fulfilled...more than I had ever felt before. It took many years, but I had found that the most important things in life were rarely things. No...instead they were ponies...or my child.

As we passed over the edge of the town, I allowed my mind to drift to the pony I was on my way to meet, just as I did most nights. Fluttershy was my answer to sister’s Twilight Sparkle. While I cared for both, Fluttershy was a close personal friend, much as Twilight was as such to Tia. The Element of Kindness had chosen her as its bearer for good reason...a fact that was shown the many times she would comfort me or chase away my loneliness.

Not even a goddess could ask for a better friend.

My company and I arrived at the familiar abode, and I turned to my two guards with a smile. “You both know the drill.” The two guards nodded and flew around each other in a tight circle, condensing the moisture in the air into a small cloud that they could rest upon. They then moved the cloud high into the air, far away enough to give me auditory privacy, but close enough that they could keep watch in case of the unlikely event that I should be endangered.

As I expected, Fluttershy was sitting upon her back porch, sipping a mug of hot tea underneath a blanket, staring at the sky. I landed as quietly as I could, but like always, she heard me. The years had done wonders for the pegasus’ nerves though, so she no longer jumped in fright at my approach.

Instead, she simply smiled warmly and lifted up the blanket to allow me to scoot in next to her. “Good evening, Luna.”

“It is indeed, Fluttershy.” I replied happily as I sat next to my friend, relishing the warmth she provided.

“So how is your night so far?” my friend asked curiously, passing a sweetened mug of tea to me.

I sipped the steaming, lemony, herbal mixture and sighed as it quenched my thirst and warmed my insides. “It is going wonderfully. How has the past few weeks been for you? I apologize I was unable to visit...things have been rather hectic since the incident in the Crystal Empire.”

Fluttershy smiled warmly and shook her head, her soft pink mane swishing slightly against my coat. “It’s okay, Luna. I know how demanding your life can get when something like that happens, so I don’t worry about it. I know you’re my friend, and if we can’t see each other for a little while, that doesn’t change. Besides, you still send me letters every other day, so I’m never lonely.”

“Then I am a good friend, right?” I replied coyly.

Fluttershy giggled and nodded. “The best.”

“Good.” I answered with a grin as I took another sip of the steamy beverage. “So how has Vega settled in?”

At this, she sighed, and for some reason, this placed me on edge. “I...I don’t know. I haven’t seen him for almost a week.”

I raised an eyebrow and asked, “Has he been hurt? Did the two of you have a disagreement of some sort?”

Fluttershy shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think so. In fact, he and I were becoming really good friends. Lately though, he always seems busy. All the rest of my friends say he’s okay, but I’m worried I might have said something wrong since he keeps avoiding me.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “You are a wonderful friend, Fluttershy. I cannot see why he would avoid you, but if it is the case, I am sure it is for a very good reason.”

Suddenly, a voice in the distance caught both of our ears, and I turned my head to listen better as we both went silent.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she said, “That’s Rainbow Dash! She’s never out this late...”

“And she’s calling for Vega.” I added worriedly. I levitated the blanket off of us and stood, shaking out my mane and tail. “Come...something may be wrong.”

“Fluttershy, Princess Luna!” shouted the voice, much closer this time. The two of us looked up to see the cyan pegasus gliding over to us before landing in front of me. She offered a short bow before asking, “Have either of you seen Vega? I can’t find him!”

I raised my eyebrow and asked, “What do you mean you cannot find him?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged with worry clear on her face. “Just what I said, I can’t find him. We were talking earlier today, and all of the sudden he just up and flies away.” She then lowered her voice and added, “And don’t tell anypony this, but he’s really fast. Somehow he lost me, and I have no idea where he is now. None of the other girls have seen him either, and I even asked Derpy...she sees everything and even she hasn’t seen him.”

The worry began to creep into my heart that something terrible might have happened, but I took a breath to calm myself. “When was the last time you saw him?”

She shrugged. “Early morning.”

“You were up in the morning?” Fluttershy questioned with a sly grin.

The rainbow-maned mare rolled her eyes with a huff. “He woke me up to let me know he was alright.”

“Alright?” I asked with increasing dread. “What has happened? Why would he not be well?”

The cyan mare looked at me with seriousness before responding, “I’m sure you’ve heard by now about the Everfree Forest being torn up, right?”

I nodded. “Twilight Sparkle sent a report to my sister about it, which Tia asked me to handle.”

“Well,” she began, rubbing her mane nervously, “that may have been Vega’s fault...” I stared at her for clarification, so she sighed before continuing. “Okay look, before he went to talk to you last night, he had kind of a freakout after flying away from me. He basically warned me to stay away, because he was worried he’d hurt me. Anyway, yeah...the forest is literally his fault.”

My eyes widened at the information, and I gulped noticeably. “Very well...that explains the situation with the forest.”

“If it helps at all, he said he did it in a place that would grow back quickly, and that there weren’t any animals around.” Rainbow Dash added.

I let out a breath I did not realize I had been holding and nodded. “It does help, actually. Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I assume you have checked all of Ponyville?” The mare just stared at me with a blank expression, and I giggled nervously. “Right...apologies. That only leaves the Everfree and Canterlot. I will check the city, I wish for you and Fluttershy to make a few passes above the forest. If the two of you are not successful in finding him by midnight, return to your homes to rest and we will continue the search the following day.” I then took flight and nodded to the two guards perched on the cloud above us before turning my gaze to the two pegasi in front of me. “If you find him, please approach him cautiously. If he is indeed the cause of the devastation, he may be very dangerous and emotionally unstable. I would prefer if you coax him instead of attempt to force him to do anything...that means you, Rainbow Dash.”

“What? I can coax just fine, thanks.” the speedy pegasus defended.

I smiled and nodded. “Good, because I will be counting on that skill. Please stay safe, and watch over each other.” I then took flight towards the city with my guards in tow.

---

The search of the city yielded absolutely no results, even after nearly four hours of searching. Dawn would be on its way in another two hours, which meant I would need to rest soon. However, I felt it would be impossible to slumber with the fear that Vega may be in danger, and I could not assist him. I had come to think of him not just as one of my children, but as my son...special. And so the mere fact that he could be injured caused panic to rise in my veins.

But then a soft cry caught my attention.

As I flew over the Canterlot Gardens, my ears picked up on what sounded like sobbing. I stopped in the air and motioned for my two guards to wait at a distance, so they did as I asked as I approached the garden.

When I landed near the center of the garden, the soft cries were easily noticeable, and as I walked around the large granite fountain, I found a lone pegasus weeping to himself...a pegasus I knew well.

“Vega...” I whispered cautiously.

The pegasus stopped weeping and turned his head to look up at me, tear tracks clear on his cheeks. “Mother...”

He did not refer to me as All-Mother, Lunacae, or even "princess"...it was clear this was serious. Never had I seen him so broken, his very stature seeming small in comparison to normal. True that as a pony, he was always smaller than me, but his heart and presence always made him a giant in the eyes of anyone that knew him. Now...he seemed so insignificant.

I hurriedly crouched before him and wrapped my wings protectively around his smaller form. “Vega...I was so worried. No one knew where you were.”

“I want to go home...” he whimpered.

I nodded slowly and nuzzled into his messy mane. “Of course. I will escort you personally back to Twilight’s and-”

“No...” he interrupted. He then looked up at me with tears again streaming down his face. “I want to go back.”

It took me a few moments to realize what he meant, but when I understood, I felt my heart break as I asked, “Why?”

His bright eyes looked up at me and he shook his head. “I don’t belong here, mother...I’m a monster.” He then chuckled darkly and added, “I’m sure by now you’ve heard about what happened to the forest...well I had to do that to keep myself from killing Rainbow Dash.” A growl followed this before he rhetorically asked, “What sort of friend has to abandon a friend to keep from killing her?”

“Just because you are at odds with yourself is no reason to call yourself a monster.” I replied sternly. “Do you truly believe you are the only one who battles with the darkness within them?” He looked up at me again, and I just nodded. “The Elements of Harmony cleansed me, allowing me to regain control of my mind and body...but the darkness that gave rise to Nightmare Moon will never truly be gone.” I placed a hoof on my forehead as I closed my eyes in thought. “Whenever anger or any other strong negative emotion begins to overcome me, I can hear the voices. They promise me power, fulfilled wishes, and contentment.” I then lowered my hoof to Vega’s face and caressed his cheek softly. “Believe me Vega...you are far from alone in feeling as if you are a monster.”

“How do you live with it?” he asked with building hopefulness.

I smiled and answered, “The friendship of a few special ponies helps, as does the love of my sister. Running away when you feel what is inside building with pressure is no way to handle it.”

“But what if-” he attempted to reply, but I held my hoof softly to his lips.

“You would never hurt them, Vega...any of them.” I responded with a loving smile. “Speaking of your fears and verbally venting your emotions to a listening ear helps more than destroying a forest. Just as I would never willingly harm my sister, you would never willingly harm any you care for...no matter how upset you may be. Though a feral entity may dwell within, you must always remember that it is you who is in control...not it.”

He sighed and relaxed just a bit, but I could tell he was still troubled. “That’s not all that worries me though, mother.”

I laid my head gently atop his as I softly stroked his back. “Speak your heart to me, Vega...I will always listen.”

“W-well,” he began nervously, shifting a bit in my embrace, “do you recall when you explained love to me?”

I nodded with a smile. “Yes, I do. More questions?”

He shook his head as he laid his head upon my chest. “No questions...more of a confession.” The stallion then sighed loudly as he stated, “I think I love Fluttershy...”

I pulled back just a bit so that I could look at him, and then frowned. “And is this a problem?”

“Of course it is!” he exclaimed, though still speaking softly. “I’m tens of thousands of years older than her...it’s...wrong.”

“Why?” I asked with a knowing smile.

He ignored my expression and snorted in frustration. “Because I feel as if I am enamored with a youngling, which even in my people’s culture is wrong.”

I smiled again and shook my head. “Physical age matters not, Vega. My sister is my elder by nearly eight centuries, and I am your elder by nearly double your age...yet both my sister and I allow ourselves to feel and revel in the youthfulness of this world...of its denizens, our subjects. It is that innate youthfulness that allowed me to fall prey to the jealousy that fueled my transformation into Nightmare Moon, but it is also that youthfulness that allows me to still find friendship among those such as young Fluttershy. The heart knows no age, my son...and you would do well to not ignore its call. Some go for their entire life without ever finding such a thing as you feel for Fluttershy...so do not squander such a connection.” He furrowed his brow in thought for a few moments before I added, “She cares for you deeply as well, Vega. I know not if it is infatuation, mere friendship, or love, but it is clear that she feels strongly connected to you.”

Again he looked up at me, this time with a hopeful expression. “Do you really think so?”

I kissed the top of his head softly and nodded. “Yes, I do.” I then released him from my grasp and nudged him with my muzzle. “Off you go, Vega. You have greatly worried two pegasi, and it would be smart to let them know you are well.”

He looked up at the sky curiously. “But it’s well after midnight.”

I smiled and shook my head. “I know the two of them well enough to know they will not be able to sleep until they know you are well. Do not waste time.”

Finally, he allowed a small smile to crease his lips as he turned around and embraced me softly. “Thank you, mother.”

The use of this new title caused happiness to alight within me, and I returned the embrace before releasing him and watching him fly away into the night. I then looked to the sky and nodded to the two well-hidden guards before turning towards the palace and flying home.

Comments

[coppercore]

I... I can safely say I've never read anything quite like this before. You really put the "O" in OC here. Awesome story!

[Elixir]

yay I love the build up, the emotions almost brought me to shed a tear, the way you emapthyse with characters is unbelieivable and if this were a book I would buy 20 copys
nice chapter length too.
I am lookinging forward to MOAR

[Radiant Dawn]

2243127 But of course. It wouldn't be very original if the character was cliche, flat, or static.

2245688 That is the idea. I don't write a story if I can't empathize with the characters themselves, because then it just isn't worth writing.

[Elixir]

2259723
too true too true