Gone in 1800 Seconds

by True Blue Spark

#336. A Jury of Your Peers

The Prompt: Justice for all.

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The atmosphere was tense in Cheerilee’s classroom. A crime had been committed, a suspect named. And justice was about to be served... or so it seemed.

Cheerilee herself sat at her desk, forelegs crossed and wearing a stern expression. Dinky Doo was sobbing in the corner, with Pipsqueak patting her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. And Scootaloo, on Cheerilee’s instruction, was standing at the front of the room, sweating heavily.

“But I didn’t do it! I swear I didn’t!” Scootaloo pleaded. “You gotta believe me!”

Cheerilee frowned. “I’d like to believe you, Scootaloo, but the evidence against you is strong. The pie tin from Dinky’s dessert was found in your desk, and you were alone in the classroom during lunch.”

Scootaloo paled, eyes darting around. “W-Well, yeah... I was at my desk for a bit at lunch... But then I went and hung out with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle like I always do! I didn’t take Dinky’s pie! I’d never do something uncool like that!”

“Then how do you explain the tin?”

Scootaloo swallowed. “I-I dunno... Anypony could’ve put it there!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” Apple Bloom put in. “Did anypony see her eat it? There’s no proof!”

“Right! You can’t punish her if you don’t know it was her!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“It’s admirable that you’re trying to defend Scootaloo, girls, but who else could have done it?” Cheerilee looked over the classroom. “Dinky was one of the last students to leave the room aside from Scootaloo, and the pie was still there when she left. And Shady tells me he saw her dart out of the room in the middle of the break.”

Shady? Sweetie Belle turned to look at her classmate. The colt looked normal, but... his wings were twitching. Just like Scootaloo’s sometimes did when she wasn’t being totally honest with the Crusaders. Something didn’t add up here.

“Miss Cheerilee?” Sweetie waved her hoof in the air. “What if Shady told us all what he saw?” Shady jumped in his seat, turning to face Sweetie Belle. She gave him the sweetest, most syrupy smile Rarity had ever taught her. “Just so we can make sure we’re not confused about how it happened!”

Cheerilee rubbed her chin. “I suppose there wouldn’t be any harm in that. Is that alright, Shady?”

“Uh, sure!” Shady said, hopping up and fluttering to the front of the room.

“Whenever you’re ready, then.”

Shady nodded and cleared his throat. “Okay. So a few minutes after lunch started, I realized I’d left my lunch bag in the classroom. So I came back to get it.”

Sweetie Belle leaned forward in her seat. Everything checked out so far.

“When I got there,” he continued, “I saw Scootaloo sitting at her desk, all alone. She looked kinda suspicious.”

“Hold it!” Apple Bloom suddenly shouted. “Whaddaya mean, ‘suspicious’?”

Shady shrugged. “Well, she was looking all fidgety. Like she didn’t want anypony to see her. Like she was doing something wrong, you know?”

“Mmm...” Apple Bloom hummed discontentedly. Sweetie knew they were thinking the same thing: Scootaloo hadn’t been able to afford lunch again today, and she always felt too embarrassed and ashamed to be seen borrowing food from them. That explained the way she was acting, but they couldn’t tell the whole class that...

“Anyway, she zoomed out of the classroom in a rush. Even faster than she usually goes. So... Just on a hunch, when I went in to get my bag, I peeked inside her desk too.” Shady coughed, blushing a bit. “I know I shouldn’t’ve been snooping, but I wasn’t gonna touch anything.”

Sweetie scowled. It wasn’t a crime to look at the other desks—it was a public schoolhouse, after all. There had to be something wrong with all this, but how could she prove it?

“When I opened it up, I saw an empty pie tin! I knew right away it was Dinky’s special dessert, the one she was bragging about this morning. The one her mom made special, just for her.”

Dinky, who had almost calmed down by this point, let out a wail. Pipsqueak winced and pulled her into a hug. Scootaloo was starting to shiver, too convinced that her goose was cooked to offer a word in her own defense.

Somepony had to have planted the tin. Sweetie Belle just knew Scootaloo would never have done such a thing, no matter how hungry she was. After all, Scootaloo knew how much Dinky loved her mom and the treats that she always—

Wait just a minute.

“Hold it!” she squeaked. “How did you know it was Dinky’s dessert? Was her name on the tin?”

Shady wrinkled his brow. “Huh? Well, no. But like I said, she was bragging about how her mom made her something special for dessert today! So what else could it have—”

“Objection!” Sweetie Belle slammed her hooves down on her desk and pointed at Shady. “That’s right, Dinky had ‘something special’ for dessert! But that’s all she said! She never told us it was a pie until after it got stolen! And everypony knows her mom! Why would you assume the special dessert was a pie, when everypony else was expecting some kind of muffin?”

“Wh—Gah!” Shady recoiled, jaw dropping in shock. His wings shot out to either side, twitching in time with one of his lower eyelids. “W-Well, I, uh...”

Sweetie crossed her forelegs and smirked. “Looks like your story is one slice short of a full pie, Shady! Why don’t you tell us what really happened?”*

Cheerilee’s eyes went wide. “That’s true... Even I had expected her mother to make muffins again. Can you explain yourself, Shady?”

“H-Hang on!” Shady stammered. “Okay, okay, I mighta got the details a little wrong. I can totally explain, though!”

“Go right ahead!” Sweetie chimed happily, confidence rushing in. She had him on the ropes now, and she wouldn’t let him wriggle away! Whatever story he made up next, she’d find something wrong with it.

For Scootaloo’s sake, she would see to it justice was served. A la mode, even!

Author's Note:

To be played immediately after Sweetie Belle shouts “Objection!”

I just keep rereading this and giggling. I’m really, really pleased with it! I feel like I did a good job capturing the absurd atmosphere of the Phoenix Wright games (even if I’ve only played the first one). The logic of it is a bit strained, but they’re just foals, and I did only have thirty minutes plus planning time. My favorite line is Sweetie’s “one slice short of a full pie” bit. It’s the perfect sort of cheesy pun that Phoenix would actually use in the games.

I realized immediately after submitting this that I confused the fan-named Shady Daze with Rumble and that Shady’s actually an Earth pony. Uh... You know what, I’m gonna say it was an animation error. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T USE THAT EXCUSE ON A FANFIC.

Comments

[InkFathom]

You make me want to write Professor Layton pony spoofs.

[Neutrinos are Magic]

“Objection!” Sweetie Belle slammed her hooves down on her desk and pointed at Shady. “That’s right, Dinky had ‘something special’ for dessert! But that’s all she said! She never told us it was a pie until after it got stolen! And everypony knows her mom! Why would you assume the special dessert was a pie, when everypony else was expecting some kind of muffin?”

[Fury of the Tempest]

Oh god this was hilarous, XD