Conversion Bureau: St George

by kryxel

episode 2: the first human

TCB: SG E2P1:
The First Human
Written by kryxel (the crazy loon)
Capitals commas, and other various changes (for the better) done by the amazing
Ray10k
(music for this chapter)

Ditzy unlocked the doors, and flew behind the counter. "Welcome to the bureau," she said as the people filed past in twos or threes. One of her eyes watched the people filing past, while the other eye looked at the names that appeared from the World Identification Database.
Sally Johanson, Trevor Mirkis. Pikup Dropov, Dave Strider. Freddie Thompson. Thomas A. Anderson.
She smiled and repeated the welcome a few times before she saw Him. Yes... He would do.
The tall man stood straight and walked with purpose, his eyes looking forward, ignoring all that happened around him. His hair was a buzz cut and he had a pair of dogtags down his collar.
However, none of that was what drew Ditzy’s attention.
What did draw her attention however, was the large man’s right arm, or rather the lack thereof.
She knew that the loss of a limb in this day and age was not unheard of, most if not all people had an enhancement of some sort.
The robotics were practically given away for free, so a person without an arm and no replacement kind of stood out like a Unicorn in a parade of Pegasi.
She pushed a button, and the information on the man with the robotic arm darted through the wires and relays, until it reached the timelords computer.

The Doctor looked at the picture that came up on the screen and read the name. "Vicktor Krum... really? Do they even read Harry Potter in this timeline?"
The Doctor pulled up Victors file from the database.
Victor Eli Krum.
Soldier of the elite squad in the great Canadian-Americanzone war. Lost his arm about halfway through the conflict.
Discharged with honors and given a fully versatile prosthetic arm.
"Hmm, that’s interesting... So, where is that arm now?"
The Doctor started writing down a few notes, in preparation to the coming interview.
---------
Mrs. Cake smiled while she trotted around, giving cupcakes and forms for the humans to fill out. "Take one and pass it around, and don’t be shy. They are made with real Equestrian wheat, sugar, milk and cream."
The last one was picked up by Victor. He sat down as he set the clipboard down on his lap, then picked up the pen to start filling out the form when Octavia was suddenly heard over the loudspeaker. "Hello... Is this thing on?... What?... No Surprise you can NOT say something... Maybe later... This is an important... *ahem* Will all the members of the staff please report to the doctor’s office, with the exception of Doctor Whoof, Ditzy, Mrs. Cake and Soarin. The four of you can proceed with your jobs, the rest of the staff is, again, requested in the office of the Doctor.”

A short scuffle was heard as the mike was passed to a different speaker.
"HEEEELLO FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS! This is your Wonderbolt heatblaze himself... *pause for dramatic effect* Soarin! I want to have a shoutout to all the newcomers in the building TONIGHT! I would name you all, but hey! You all are new. Now, as for announcements:
The Cakes would like to remind Anypony who is not familiar with the Equestrian diet that meat is not on the menu, since soon we all will be eating grass. The menu of today on the other hoof is a green salad, assorted fruits, nuts, and the Sugarcube Corner Pinkie Pie cupcakeception special! For the ponies the menu is mostly the same, just swap the nuts to alfalfa shakes and it is a done deal.
Let’s see here... Rules and regulations... Blah boring... Dresscode... Psh... Who cares.. A-hah! Here we go! The thing you have been waiting for! Classes will begin later today for all newfoals (that is you humans out there), so you can learn the basics of what you could be. Earth pony, Unicorn or perhaps the greatest of the three, Pegasus." The sound of cheering was heard but it honestly sounded more like somepony clapped his hooves to the side of his mouth and breathed through it.
"Anyway, back on track. As our personal master of the double bass is away, I shall play a few tracks I like... "
A rock and roll ballad starts up as Victor finishes filling out the form. He did not like the loud pony, not at all... All he wanted right now was some peace and-
"Hi there!," The small purple Unicorn with a blond mane said to Victor.
"Uh..." He looked around before looking back to the Unicorn. "Hi?"
The Unicorn smiled. "My name is Dinky, and you are the first humans I have ever seen... My friend Scootaloo says humans eat ponies, is that true?"
Victor chuckled. "Oh, yes... We eat at least a foal like yourself a day, maybe two. My one friend Tom "the rock" Jensen said he could eat four foals a day... And I did not believe him ‘till I saw him do it."
Dinky turns as grey as her mother and shied back a step. "R-really?"
Victor laughed. "No... Hehe, does Equestria not have sarcasm, little filly?" Dinky shrugged. "What’s a sar-chasm?"
Victor smiled. "It is where you say one thing, but mean the opposite. Usually coupled with a certain enunciation."
dinky smiled once more. "Oh, I think I understand, it is lying!"
She trotted off to talk to her sister, leaving Victor dumfounded.
-------
"So! You all have your assignments. I want to know Victor’s backstory before we ponify him. We’ll need to send the report to Princess Celestia prior to that," the Doctor said while looking at the assembled ponies.
Each of them nodded and trotted out, except for Octavia.
"Doctor, err," she started off
"Yes Octavia?" The Doctor said, looking at the musically talented mare.
"I was wondering... what happens... I mean you and yourself, like, if you become him do you take his place and he goes away? Or will something else happen?"
The Doctor sighed. "When I do turn into him, however it may happen, I will end up doing what he already has dome. apparently I’ll meet Derpy... sorry, Ditzy, and then we will have two lovely girls. Eventually we shall end up at the Salt Lake bureau and get transferred here. And that is as far as I can ever know."
Octavia nodded, and stepped out of the office.
---------
"That was Drama, Drama, Drama, by the four hoof clan. They were never ponified, just loved the E... Oh hi Tavi... What?... B-but... I like it here... What?!... Really!? No way! ... Well out of my way then!!... yeah, take the mike, I’ll have AAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPLEEEEEE PPIEEEEEEEEEE!" the voice faded off the mike and into Victors normal range of hearing as Soarin flew straight to the kitchen
"Equestrians..." He said, putting the filled-in forms in his pocket as he picked up his bag. He walked up to the grey Pegasus known as Ditzy, who now was sitting behind a table with a few small stacks of paper on it. "Uh... I am here to hand in my form," he said as he put his form on the stack, " and to get my room assignment."
Ditzy picked up the paper and focused, straightening her eyes for long enough to read the form.
"Looks like everything checks out, but the Doctor has requested you speak to him before you go to the ponification room. Your room is 42. You will be bunking with a... Sales Kital, a Terry... Terrence... Terrance Smith, and somepony called Hal Linson."
Victor nodded as he picked up the key. "Thanks," he said before turning around and walking down the hall to his room.

Comments

[Steben]

gonna write a whole bunch of comments here for starters everything feels lumped together sometimes its hard to follow because you have sentences describing more than two ponies in them and then that sentence is followed up by the word he and i dont know who he is who is he

You would have a lot more readers if you could clean up this fic. I can actually see this on the front page. The story is good. Done reading for now sadly, I can't follow this without headache. Good luck on your fic.

[analhitler]

Sorry to say, but this is kinda badly written.