The Drabble Bag

by TheVulpineHero1

Penny Dreadful (Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie)

Rainbow Dash took a moment to ensure her door was securely locked. Not, of course, that it mattered. Anypony who actually wanted to see her would be more than capable of getting through it- Twi had teleportation, Applejack could just knock the friggin' thing down, Fluttershy would pull her Jedi mind tricks, Rarity had enough hairpins to pick all the locks in Canterlot, and since when had doors ever stopped Pinkie Pie? But it created the illusion of privacy, and that was enough. With only Tank watching, she nonchalantly opened the magazine, and skipped the articles (erudite as she was sure they were) to get to the part she was really interested.

Oh, baby.

For almost five whole minutes, she was blindsided by a world of leather and of lace, forbidden delights leaping from every page. The accentuation on the flanks, the sensation of motion conveyed by the static pictures! Best of all, the quiet smile shared by every model, stallion or mare...She gave a guilty little shiver even to think of it. Gasping, she decided that now would be the time for a stiff glass of (free) apple juice. Oh, the joys of knowing apple farmers.

When she got back, she noticed her door was not closed as she had left it, and that Tank was strangely quiet. But only after she noticed that every single pony in her magazine had gained a new, jet-black moustache.

"Surprise!"

There were many strange and wonderful sights to be seen in Equestria, but few stranger and more wonderful than watching Pinkamena Diane Pie extricate herself from a turtle shell that was half her height and width, and which still contained a turtle to boot.

"Oh, Dashie. You should see your face! It's all like 'bleaaaagah'!" she giggled.

"H-hey, Pinkie. I, uh, didn't see you there. Say, um, you didn't, um, look at my magazine, didja?" Dash asked, and felt sweat on her brow.

"Of course I did! How did you think I got the moustaches so pretty?" Pinkie asked, and cocked her head to the side. "But, wow, Dashie. I didn't think you were into that sort of thing."

"Shut up. You can't tell anypony. Especially not Fluttershy, but especially not Rarity," Dash hissed.

"Of course not. But why are you so worried about a little fashion magazine?" Pinkie asked.

"I got a reputation to consider. Now, do you promise to keep this a secret?" Dash glared. The magazine on the bed seemed to look up at her, accuse her, as she swore Pinkie to secrecy.

---

"Have y'all got the goods?"

Dash took the magazine out of a borrowed greatcoat and passed it over. Her client looked over it in the moon's light, eyes dilated in the darkness.

"Same time next week, Sugarcube?"

"Sure. Take care."

A pair of eyes, luminous white, opened between the two.

"Surprise!" the newcomer stage whispered. "By the way, you'd look awesome in that one from page 36..."

Author's Note:

Originally, Hot Air was supposed to lengthen out into 500 word pieces after chapter 5, but this is the only one I did. It is, of course, pretty dumb; it's basically 'ohohoho, Rainbow Dash is looking at teh pr0nz but actually she isn't.' I liked the line about Pinkie climbing out of the turtle, though; it's really typical of my style when writing comedy.

Comments

[migzie]

....i'll read this later... but wow there's a lot more of rainbow dash/pinkie pie stories............................................... **tilts head**.............

[TheVulpineHero1]

1848918
Well, that's just how it goes sometimes. All the Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie stories here were originally written as parts of the same collection; however, I ended up scrapping the collection halfway through, and I put all the stuff from it here. It's my biggest 'failed' project in the fandom to date in terms of completed individual parts, so it shows up as a disproportionate sample.

[migzie]

1849183

lol i'm not one of those extremely crazy over the top obsessed shippers. i really DO believe flutterdash/rainbowshy all the way though... but i'll treat it like a slight religion where i won't push it on other people like some do and i don't mind other's feelings on pairings =)
believe me, i've encountered people even worse than what i described.

i like reading stories that are well written anyway. not that i'll agree with the pairings sometimes. =)
i'm sure you're awesome!!! =)
(at writing and as a person)

[kajisora]

Silly as the whole thing is...
I like the whole image of AJ as a shady fashion magazine dealer.