Attack of the Puchus

by ZemaBato

Comets and Kabooms

Attack of the Puchus
Chapter 1: Comets and Kabooms

“When did I get shot?”

He didn’t believe it had come to this. Just earlier today, he was serving his masters , doing the same routine he has done for years.

He hated it. Yet, there was nothing he could do.

Luckily for him, an accident and chance encounter changed that. It was simply a stray laser blast, but it was enough to break free of their hypnotic spell. Using the chaos to his advantage, he attempted an escape. With the unlikely help of an old friend, he almost made it out a free man.

Almost.

Sitting against a wall, he contemplates what he’s done. Reminiscing the good old days, then he and his protégé enjoyed a simpler time. Where shooting up gangsters was just another Friday night, and pissing into a river while looking into a sunset became commonplace for them. And then, there was her…

His thoughts came to a stop when they appeared. They filled the end of the hallway, each one holding a deadly swatter. He looks at each of them, their demonic powers no longer a threat to him. He looks at them, a look of pain and disgust sets in, and begins to speak.

“You fiends… You fiends are cute. Horrifyingly cute.” His right hand slips behind him, and grabs hold of a metallic handle. “But”, he says while showing the device, “between a promise to my friend, and your evil cuteness, there’s a whole world of difference!”

His tormenters look in fear, realizing his thumb is hovering over a detonation device! They hesitated, not sure of what to do. It was a moment he didn’t waste, pressing down firmly on the button.

“AND STOP SAYING PUCHU PUCHU!!!”

All of a sudden, explosions fill the hallways. The devilish puchus go into a panic, trying to find an escape. Unfortunately for them, their endeavors are fruitless, as they are engulfed by the flames.

He sees the flame approaching him from both ends of the hallway. There is no place left for him to go. Satisfied that his tormentors won’t survive, he rests against the wall once again. Allowing himself a smile, he closes his eyes, waiting for his demise.

“Adios.”

The explosions hit, flames taking over. He feels intense burning for what feels like ages. Then, nothing.

***

“My, it is an exquisite night. Luna has outdone herself once again.”

Normally, the premier fashionista of Ponyville wouldn’t be awake at this late at night, much less out for a stroll. However, tonight was an especially beautiful night, and she didn’t feel like sleeping quite yet.

Of course, Rarity didn’t only enjoy the night. Ever the creative pony that she was, she kept an eye out for any inspiration she could find. With winter in full swing, she was looking for something truly unique this year for the inhabitants of Equestria.

“Maybe I can use the stars..” she said to herself. She quickly shook her head. “No, no. That wouldn’t do at all. That would be too tacky.”

She makes her way to an open field, the night sky vast and open to her. Finding a nice patch of grass, she sits down, enjoying the fresh air and the bright night’s sky.

She sighs. “I must find something new, something exciting, something that will reach the high society of Canterlot, not the slums of Manehattan!”

A flash of light appears above her. Looking up, she gasps. A meteor shower is taking place. Streaks of light are flashing above her, going out as soon as they appear. Rarity keeps her eyes locked above her, a smile of amazement slowly working its way onto her face.

“Yes, that was lovely!” she exclaimed. “That was truly magnificent. I must use that for my next line!”

Suddenly, a very different light flashes to her left, followed by a loud explosion. Shocked, she looks at the trees, seeing smoke where the light once was.

“Oh dear, what was that? Did a meteor land over there?” she pondered. Noticing some light from where the meteor landed, she trots over to the landing site, careful to not get herself hurt.

After a few minutes, she approaches a small crater. There are a few flames here and there, which are quickly put out with magic. Wouldn’t want this fire to spread to the forest, she thought. Looking into the crater, she lets out a gasp.

At the bottom of the crater was not a meteor, but some weird creature!

Rarity rushes down, checking the poor thing. Taking a good look at the thing, she can’t help but wonder what it is.

It was a bipedal creature. A minotaur, perhaps? No, it can’t be, its features are too different, she decided. Going right next to the thing, Rarity starts checking it out to see the extent of the injuries.

The thing looked like it went through hell. Looking at its face, Rarity decided it must be a male. He had a thin face, with a purple moustache. His hair was 3 toned; with teal and yellow hair up front, and purple hair in the back. His hair was burnt at the ends, with ash all over his face, as well as the rest of his body. His clothes, which Rarity looked at with a twinge of curiosity, were in tatters. If there was a jacket, it was burnt to a crisp. All that was left was a pair of slacks, a burnt white shirt, and a strange purple vest. There were also remnants of a tie, although she couldn’t guess what kind it was.

Pressing down onto him, she was startled when he let out a sharp gasp. Looking down at where she pressed, she noticed a sound on his side.

“Oh dear, you’re injured!” she exclaimed. Wasting no time, she tears off the vest with her magic, using it as a makeshift compress. This causes the man to open his eyes, although slightly.

“There, there. Everything will be okay,” she says. “As soon as I get this under control, we are going straight to Ponyville Medical to get you treated.”

The strange creature relaxes a little, a “thank you” barely loud enough to escape his throat. The white unicorn finishes up her first aid, and gets ready to take him to the hospital.

“It’s quite alright, dear. Tell me, what is your name? Mine’s Rarity.” She looks at him, a glimmer of concern in her eyes.

The thing struggles for a bit, before saying two words.

“Space… Butler..”

He passes out, his injuries more apparent than earlier. Rarity wastes no time, levitating him next to her. She heads straight into town.

“Don’t you worry, Space Butler,” she says, a bead of sweat forming on her brow as she carries him along. “You will be getting better in no time.”

To Be Continued..

Comments

[The Rarispy]

This looks really promising.

[Firebirdbtops]

Wear a hard hat and you're always ok. Why didn't he have one? It's too sad.

[nightmaster0]

This should prove to be interesting. Looking forward to the next chapter.

[skytail]

uummm...you need to re-write the beginning so that it starts with "I, Kōshi Rikudō, here by give my permission to turn the Excel Saga into a..."
but other then that...awesome idea.

[ZemaBato]

1841355

Don't you worry. You'll see Koshi in due time. He's just waiting for the right moment.

[Blackguard]

Oh dear. A crossover with one of my favorite animes?

I'm almost afraid to look.