A Shining Example

by Shakespearicles

Sleep Therapy

Shining Armor walked down the familiar cobblestone road to his parents' house, his foalhood home. As he neared it, he saw Twilight walking out. She began heading in the opposite direction. Hadn't she seen him?

He started after her in a light trot, calling out to her, trying to get her attention. She didn't appear to increase her pace, yet he didn't gain any ground either. He quickened himself, running now. She just kept on slowly walking at her calm pace, but he got no nearer, and yet he could see himself moving forward. He flew into a full gallop, the ground was a blur beneath him. He clenched his teeth, his muscles burned, his eyes watered.

But he couldn't get any closer to the purple mare. She moved no faster. She calmly turned a corner, he was there an instant later. But she was gone. He looked around in a panic.

"Twilie!" He shouted. But there was nothing. Nothing but a soft echo in the empty alleys. It was then that he realized that he didn't know where he was. He looked back in the direction he had just come from. He didn't recognize any of the landmarks. He felt his legs give out. He collapsed in a heap and wept.

"SHINING ARMOR." A voice called out.

He recognized his name, and knew immediately who was addressing him. He hastily dried his eyes and took a humble knee.

"Your highness. What brings you here?" he answered to Princess Luna from his bow.

He felt the ground tremble in her presence. "YOU DO." She bellowed in Royal Canterlot Voice. The buildings around him began to crack and crumble, breaking apart into dust and fading away. Around them, the Walls of a study rose in their place, surrounding the two ponies. They were lined with wooden shelves and dusty tomes. A plush couch materialized beside him as the cobblestone road morphed into a hardwood floor. Luna lofted down into a newly appearing armchair. Somehow, a vaulted ceiling grew over them, replaced the sky.

He sighed, knowing what this meant. "I'm dreaming."

"Quite astute." She said in her indoor voice from her chair, donning her reading glasses. Why she needed glasses at all in the Dreamscape, Shining couldn't fathom. "Lie on the couch." She motioned with her hoof.

"Um, no thanks." Shining was in no mood to play along with Luna's games.

"Did my voice go up at the end of that sentence? Because that was not a request." She said with a power of seriousness that did not require shouting. He climbed into the couch without further protest. A notepad and quill materialized in front of the Princess of the Night. "So," her voice changing into an eerie chipper, "what shall we talk about?"

"I don't want to talk about anything. I actually would just like to wake up right now." He said as flatly as he could, trying to mask his frustration.

"Oh, but you see, you piled on- let's see, one, two, oh- three glasses of cider on top of that sleeping potion you took. You are out like a light for at least six more hours. So how about we make the best of our time together hmm?" She smiled.

"I can do that elsewhere." He said and he stormed out of the study. He threw open the door and ended up in the next room which was... the same study. He looked behind himself to see- himself walking into the room behind him, like two mirrors facing each other. An infinite hall of mirrors. An infinite hall of studies. Luna waited patiently for him as the situation settled in for him. He wasn't going anywhere. She sat in her chair with her hooves crossed. He resigned himself to his fate and laid back down on the couch.

He repeated her question back to her, "So, what shall we talk about?"

She balked, "Captain! You should know that it is considered rude to answer a question with a question."

"Oh, I think we've left pleasantries at the door when you took me hostage in my own dream." He said crassly.

"Hostage?" She scoffed, "Captai-" She held her tongue. Him becoming angry would not help anypony. "Shining, I'm here to try to help you."

"And I already said 'no thank you' Princess Lu-" He was cut off.

"Just Luna, please. Just call me Luna here, in this place. I'm here as a friend, for a friend."

"OK. Luna. But no thank you." He said, as politely as he could manage. Her patience had run out.

"Such arrogance." She hissed, "You may want to consider the possibility that I am -NOT- doing this just for you. My time could be better served helping innocent foals overcome their nightmares rather than trying to save some tired old drunk who has given up on himself. I am doing this as a personal favor."

"For whom?" he asked.

"That is not your business." She said with her eyebrows furrowed slightly. The lighting of the room grew dark with her anger. The walls seemed to lean in closer, making Shining feel claustrophobic. She regained her composure, returning to her chipper facade. The room relaxed and lightened with her. "Now, enough about me. Let's talk about yoOou." She said with a sort of sing-song voice.

"OK." He said flatly.

"Let's talk about these nightmares of yours. You've been having them for nearly your entire adult life." She read off matter-of-factually. She flipped through a folder of papers, presumably about him, he imagined. They, like everything else, seemed to just materialize out of the ether.

"They're not nightmares." He interrupted.

"They're hardly pleasant." She retorted. "So. Your sister, Twilight, then." He winced at the mention of her name, "Always Twilight. Every night, Twilight. Why is that?" She asked. He was visibly in pain. Her name on his ears was each a dagger in his heart, and in his soul.

"TwilightTwilightTwilight!" She mocked, if only to get some kind of response from the stallion.

"ENOUGH!" He shouted, sitting up. The walls rattled. A few books fell from the shelves, which themselves threatened to break. Luna's eyes darted about for a second. She needed to maintain the illusion of control. This was his dream after all, she was only a guest here. He laid back down. "Just- stop- with that."

"But I thought you liked pain, Shining." She cooed, "Isn't that what you keep telling yourself? The pain suits you? Pain very well deserved? Why Shining? Why does your soul deserve to be in pain every waking hour? And even every night in your restless nightmares? We do not even torture our worst enemies so."

"I do deserve it." He said rolling over and curled into a ball, burying his face into the back of the couch. "Do with me what you will, Princess. I won't try to stop you." He resigned. "I won't resist. I don't care anymore." Luna looked at him a moment. It was interesting reading his reaction. She honestly did not know what it was he expected her to do to him. She watched the visions flash through his mind. He imagined so many gory executions of himself. He felt nothing about them.

"Do you fear death, my son?" She asked him.

"No." He replied without hesitation.

"But you sometimes wish for it?" She pressed.

He rolled back onto his back, "I do wish for it."

She sighed, trying to find a common ground, "It is like that for those of us who have done such things. That is why you have nightmares."

"All soldiers have nightmares." He reasoned.

"Only those who regret what they have done." She replied calmly.

He looked her squarely in the eyes, "You have no idea, of the things that I have done."

Luna lowered her glasses from her snout, "I tried to shroud all of Equestria in eternal night. It could have been catastrophic had Twilight and her friends not succeeded in stopping me." He felt another stab at the mention of her name.

"Your sister forgave you. Your fairy tale has a happy ending." He said. "There is no happy ending for me."

"Do you honestly think that was the 'happily ever after'?" She asked rhetorically, "After a thousand years of hateful brooding on the moon that it was all solved in a single hug?" She put her glasses back on, "Don't be so ignorant."

He rolled over onto his belly with his chin on the arm of the couch, "How does the story end then?"

"Tia forgave me for my transgressions even before my salvation. Even as I still committed atrocities against Equestria as Nightmare Moon." Shining listened intently now, she continued. "It didn't matter what I did, or what ever I was going to do, it didn't matter. She would always forgive me. I never understood it. Not until I returned to my mantle as the Princess of the Night." she paused, lost in thought for a moment, "She never spoke it overtly, but it was an unspoken courtesy that I would not visit her dreams." Luna bowed her head remorsefully and looked at Shining from under her ethereal bangs, "But one night, I did. I did knowing she would forgive me, but afraid all the same." She trailed off.

"What did you see?" he asked with the awe of a colt at a spooky campfire story.

"I bore witness to the montage of the events leading up to my banishment in the moon a thousand years ago." Luna said, her eyes glistening in sorrow, "Not once but repeatedly! Again and again!" she cried, "Every missed opportunity she had to stop me on my dark path, every chance she missed to save me from my fate in the moon!" her tears ran freely now, "She forgave me in a heartbeat, but she never forgave herself! And so she tortures herself all night, every night with those nightmares. Just as she has every night for the past millennium!" Luna tried to calm herself, and regained her composure. "After that night, I never again questioned her source of kindness and temperance. Because in her mind, she still thinks herself a monster."

She stopped. They both just sat and stared at each other for what felt like hours. Shining spoke first.

"You wish to save me as you would save her?" He asked softly.

"I'm just trying to tell you I know your pain, Shining. I've seen it. I know what it can do." She sat upright again, "I know it makes you want to be a better stallion. It's what makes you try harder. It makes you put 110% into all your endeavors. To make up for whatever crime it is you are punishing yourself for. But it also makes you a harder pony for the pain."

She leaned in closer. "But that's not what you want. That just leaves you as a hollow shell. A mask. It's not who you really are." She paused, waiting for his fullest attention. "Which begs the question, and don't you lie to me Shining Armor, don't you dare lie to me after this. Which begs the question: What do you want Shining Armor? What do you really want?"

I just want her to talk to me.

Luna perked up at his inner monologue's response, "Is that so difficult?"

"What do you know?" He said.

"I know that time changes everything, Shining. Mountains crumble, stars burn out. All things change in time. Even the most broken of hearts mend in time." Behind her, Twilight Sparkle walked into the room. Shining fell backwards out of his chair. His reaction was most telling. He wanted her to say something. Anything. Her mouth moved, but no sounds came forth. Tears ran down his cheeks as he laid on the floor. Twilight moved closer to him. She reached out with her hoof. That was when Luna felt it.

Pure. Abject. Terror. The combined collective fear of snakes, spiders, bats, public speaking, and the very dark itself. It possessively radiated off of the stallion. The temperature of the room plunged.

"OH PLEASE NO!" He cried. His breath was visible in the cold air. He whimpered a sound that Luna had never heard come from a pony before. "I'M SO SORRY!" What could he possibly think she was going to do to him? His fears were beyond Luna's comprehension. It made no sense. Unless-

He was afraid for her.

Before Twilight could touch him she vanished. He was still trembling. "Shining," He looked up. His eyes were bloodshot. "Ponies that live, can forgive. You mortal-kind have no idea unto yourselves how fleeting and special your lives are. You need to let yourself be forgiven before your last goodbye is a late one."

"Never. I don't deserve it." He said. "I knew better. She was just a filly. I was supposed to be the one to protect her. Not-" His voice was lost. He couldn't bring himself to say it. The walls around them began to crack and crumble. Light began to break though as the dust blew away. Luna felt herself losing her tenuous grasp on the fading dream.

Forgive yourself Shining Armor. Forgive yourself, and she might too...
_________________________________________________________________

Shining Armor awoke in his bed. Cadence was propped up on her elbow beside him. The morning light was just beginning to trickle into the room through the cracks in the drapes.

"Good morning star shine!" Cadence greeted him

"How'd I get here?" He asked.

"I carried you to bed. You were dead to the world two minutes after I left you out there last night. So I brought you to bed and tucked you in."

Shining's pillow was wet. "I guess I drooled last night."

"No," she said as her happy expression fell, "Not drool." She just sort of looked at him with sympathetic eyes, "You know, I've never seen anyone frown so much in their sleep."

"Been in that many beds have you?" He quipped. He was answered with a jab to his exposed ribs.

"Stop it. You know only I love you." She cooed and kissed him. "I was hoping you'd feel better today.

"Oh and why is that?" He asked as he jumped out of bed and headed into the other room without expecting an answer.

"It's what I hope every day..." She whispered to herself.

Comments

[VanHooooon]

I am going to cry.

[kushi02]

Goodmorning star shine the world says hello, you shine from above us, We shine from below~

[Maxsteele]

So is Twilight dead in this story? And is Shining feeling guilty as he might have been able to do something to prevent Twilight from dying?