A Shining Example

by Shakespearicles

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

Shining Armor walked into the Golden Oaks Library. It was his sister, Twilight's, residence. She was sitting at her table reading a book. She looked up at him and smiled. Shining felt his chest get tight. She put her book down and greeted him.

"Hey Shiny! What brings you here?"

A tear ran down his cheek. To hear her voice after so long. Just to hear it. He tried to speak, struggling to find the words.

"I- I just came- to say..." He tried to catch his breath, the pain in his soul was unbearable. He'd sooner take a knife to the gut. "I just wanted to tell you... I'm sorry."

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Shining Armor roused from his dream to the sound of the radio he had left on. He had nodded off in his chair again. His cheek was still moist, he dried it with the fur of his foreleg. His usual neatly styled mane was a ragged mess, plastered to his scalp with sweat. He looked down at Ponyville from his balcony, high above in his Canterlot suite. The sun hung low in the evening sky, painting the horizon in great swirls of reds, and pinks and orange as the light faded into twilight.

Twilight

He levitated his glass of Applejack Daniels Cider to his mouth and took a deep swig. He used to take his cider on the rocks. Before that he would mix it with a molasses seltzer. But with each passing year his tolerance to the cider's burn grew. Now he didn't bother with mixers or ice. He just drank it straight, at room temperature. The pain of the burn suited him well, he felt. Pain he felt he very much deserved. His face barely winced as he finished the rest of the glass.

He thought again of Twilight. Since their last meeting all those years ago, not a day had passed that he did not. His chest hurt. His heart ached. He loaded a brass round into the ancient revolver on the table and spun the cylinder until it wound down to a quiet click. He lifted it to his temple.

CLICK

He didn't flinch. He didn't even blink. Shining simply sighed, disappointed, "Not today..."
For the better part of the last decade, Shining lived his life believing that it could end at any moment, and that the only tragedy- was that it didn't. He unloaded the archaic weapon and placed it back in it's drawer, locking it. He poured himself another glass. It was going to be another hard day's night.
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From the day Shining Armor moved out of his parents home, he was a pony with something to prove! In secondary school, his grades would have gotten him into any Equestrian university he wanted, but he chose to serve instead. Even then in the military, he was the top of his class at the academy. In a couple short year after graduating, he found himself promoted to Captain of the Royal Guard, and even knighted by the Princess Celestia herself! It was the most powerful position a non-royal-family pony could hope to obtain, not to mention the great pay and benefits! When he retired, he would be comfortable for the rest of his years.

However it seemed there was yet even more greatness awaiting him. In all his time and effort, he never veered from his path to the top, to being the best at everything he applied himself to. Not even for romance. But fate it seemed had other plans in store for him. It wasn't as though he had to even try. He was a rugged, handsome stallion in a position of great power and financial security. Never mind the fact that mares greatly outnumbered stallions across Equestria in general.

Needless to say, girls practically threw themselves at him on a daily basis. And not tramps either, but beautiful mares of the Canterlot elite. But no matter the temptations set before him, he would not be moved. He would politely decline their offer and bid them adieu. It was widely whispered that his barn door swung the other way, thereby explaining his choice of a vocation exclusively for stallions.

"Gay," He grumbled to himself at the memory, "I WISH it were that simple. If I were gay there would be no problem." He said, now conversing with his rapidly vanishing glass of cider.

The rumors persisted until he met his match for relationship stubbornness. Or rather, met her again. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Cadence for short. She used to foal sit his younger sister and keep an eye on her. But then, years later, she had her eyes on him instead. She did not get special treatment. Princess or not, Alicorn or not, even as beautiful as she was.

And she was.

He politely declined her advances just the same. Rumors of royal romance have always been a red hot subject for Equestrian tabloids. Was no mare good enough for the Captain?

"No, it's me who's not good enough for anypony." He mumbled, pouring himself yet a third glass.

But Cadence would not be denied. Finally she was able to talk him into seeing her. As a friend of course, on a steady basis, to various romantic restaurants and locales about the city, just as friends. But somehow, somewhere along the way, she chipped away at that stoic shell. She made a crack in that shining armor of his. One day she finally got to his heart.
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Shining was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of the front door of the house opening and then closing far behind him. "Shining, oh Shi-i-ining, I'm home!" Cadence called from the other room. He didn't budge. She made a bee line to right where she knew she would find him on the balcony. "Oh, baby, baby, no." she cried as she cradled his face in her soft hooves, "Why do you do this to yourself every night? Why won't you ever tell me whats wrong?"

Shining's glazed eyes stared through her. She loved him. She absolutely did. She was 100% in love with him. It took a long time and a lot of effort for her to be able to see the Captain's private life. Inside the doors of his home, he didn't hide who he was. If anything, he hoped that her seeing him like this at last would ward her off. But Cadence loved him just as hard as she could. She made it her mission to save this hurting soul.

He felt sorry for her, putting all that effort into him, a lost cause. How could anyone love him? Sure he loved her back. But his love for her it was somewhere out there, in the house. Maybe his love for her was in the pantry, in a jar. But it wasn't in his heart. She held his head to her chest. She wanted so much for him to just be happy.

Happy?

He hadn't been happy since he left home. Sure, he could wear a fake smile all day at work, or when visiting guests. He'd chuckle at the odd joke here or there. But nowadays he was always just so angry underneath, that moments of levity caused him pain, gave him headaches. Happiness for this stallion hurt.

"Come on," Cadence tried, "It's your birthday tomorrow! There must be SOMEthing you want."

I wish Twilight would talk to me.

"No. I don't want anything." He lied. "Its not that big a deal!"

"Of course it is!" She chided, "You're another year older!"

"Another year closer to the grave." He muttered.

Cadence's patience was wearing thin, "I wish you wouldn't be so morbid about this. It's supposed to be a happy occasion!"

"I'll never get what I want." He complained.

"Especially if you never ask." She said sternly, prodding him in the chest with her hoof. "Just tell me what you want."

He had no energy to fight again tonight. "Just leave me be. I'm tired."

She gave up. She knew full well that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. He was such a wonderful pony. Everything about him was perfect. She loved him dearly. "What is it about himself that he hated so intensely?" she wondered to herself, feeling defeated as she left him alone.

Shining took a final gulp from the glass and set it down, satisfied he had drowned out the memories. His head grew heavy and his sight grew dim. He drifted off for the night.

Comments

[Neko-sama]

I listened to the song with the chapter.........................THAT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Along with the story, very well done!

[Official_pepsi_pony]

LOVVEEEE

[Sparklight]

You have a good grasp on how to build mystery. I wish more writers tried instead of unloading paragraphs of exposition.

[kushi02]

Ah so Shiny's a Eagles fan!